✘not quite as emo
I feel a little better today. My laptop went to HP yesterday, and I'm using my dad's old HP laptop right now, so whilst I'm around, I kinda find it hard to type on this thing so if I do end up tagging anywhere, it'll be suuuper slow. I woke up about an hour or so ago, so I'm sleepy but I did have a nice sleep so that's good. I'm kinda glad I'm on hiatus everywhere, because at least I can have a couple weeks time to myself, even if a few logs need to be sorted out (still up for doing the log with you, mob and kels. Just hit me up when you're ready).
I received a letter saying that Maudsley hospital have seen my referral and I'm hoping that this time I can get the funding I need to go to the ADHD clinic (Maudsley). I've also been looking at life drawing classes, though I honestly think it'll be a while before I can start moving on my own again. My mum said she'd be interested in taking them up with me if worse comes to worse...
I'm trying to make myself become more motivated in the things I'm doing. I'm trying to draw once a day every day, and I'm trying to become a better person. It's just... hard, when my heart is never in it, and it's hard to become motivated when there's no motivation there to start with- just frustration. Still, I'm going to keep trying because if I stop I know I'll just... stop.
The prospect of university still scares me. I do want to learn, and I do want a degree etc, but the thought of being alone almost gives me a panic attack, so I think for now, all I can do is wait for April to come around (I have some counselling set up) and hope for the best. I'm thinking of appealing against my DLA money. I get the lowest rate, which is £18.37 two times a week, and considering how screwed up I am right now, it'd be nice if I could help my family get out of impending debt with money.
I don't like being depressed. I feel like it's holding me back in so many ways, but I don't really know how to overcome it. I just need to keep remembering to take my meds, otherwise everything will get worse.
I've put myself up to 100mg, now.
Sorry for the emo post the other day. Sometimes I just need to vent.
I received a letter saying that Maudsley hospital have seen my referral and I'm hoping that this time I can get the funding I need to go to the ADHD clinic (Maudsley). I've also been looking at life drawing classes, though I honestly think it'll be a while before I can start moving on my own again. My mum said she'd be interested in taking them up with me if worse comes to worse...
I'm trying to make myself become more motivated in the things I'm doing. I'm trying to draw once a day every day, and I'm trying to become a better person. It's just... hard, when my heart is never in it, and it's hard to become motivated when there's no motivation there to start with- just frustration. Still, I'm going to keep trying because if I stop I know I'll just... stop.
The prospect of university still scares me. I do want to learn, and I do want a degree etc, but the thought of being alone almost gives me a panic attack, so I think for now, all I can do is wait for April to come around (I have some counselling set up) and hope for the best. I'm thinking of appealing against my DLA money. I get the lowest rate, which is £18.37 two times a week, and considering how screwed up I am right now, it'd be nice if I could help my family get out of impending debt with money.
I don't like being depressed. I feel like it's holding me back in so many ways, but I don't really know how to overcome it. I just need to keep remembering to take my meds, otherwise everything will get worse.
I've put myself up to 100mg, now.
Sorry for the emo post the other day. Sometimes I just need to vent.