lessons in religious indignation
this is a two-part entry, from two different (but related) entries in my other online journal. i thought they were worthy enough to post here:
ENTRY 1: (from 09/03)
okay, so maybe indignation is not the word i'm looking for, but for now it will have to do.
so i'm sitting in religion class, listening to my professor talk about primal religions and the like. at one point in the class "conversation"--if you can call it that. these people don't like to talk, and when they do it's just muttering and no one seems confident of anything, even their opinions. some are confident, but beligerently and i don't like that--my professor mentions that Jesus was very unsure of who He was. i just looked at the man and had to try not to laugh. i've studied the scriptures, i may not be as "learned" as some sholars, but i know Truth. of that i have no douts. professor went on to explain how through his life, Jesus was constantly askimg people about the nature or truth of His existence.
i can't help but be amazed at how learned this man is but how "ignorant" in his own right. yes, i'm biased to my own beliefs. and YES, i'm preconditioned to "judge" based on my personal truth perceptions and convictions. i admit it. freely. and i will also admit freely that i am completely confident in the Truth of what i believe. there is nothing on this earth, no person that can convince me otherwise.
ANYWAY, what i'm ranting about is there are so many times in the New Testament, in the gospels where Jesus says CLEARLY who He is, and when He does, He is COMPLETELY CONFIDENT OF HIS IDENTITY:
*when Jesus was twelve, and his parents and he traveled to Jerusalem "after the custom of the feast." they had all been in the temple, but Jesus returned unbeknownst to them. when they finally found Him, and scolded Him for disappearing, He said, "Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I had to be in my Father's house?" (paraphrased Luke 2:49 from the New King James Version). at this point in Judaism, there had not been a distinction made between a "Father God" and a "God the Son." God was considered a, rather, THE "Father" but in the largest sense of the word, not the personal connotation that Jesus used.
*confirmation of Jesus' identity as the Son of God BEFORE He began His ministry: "And Jesus, when He was baptized, went up from the water, and the heavens were opened and the Spirit of God descended on Him like a dove, and loud voice from Heaven said,'This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.'" (paraphrased from what i remember of the NIV version and the NKJV in front of me at the moment; Matthew 3:16-17.) this account is also found in Mark 1:9-11; Luke 3:21-22; John 1:29-36
these are the first recordings in the New Testament of Jesus' identity. i'll include more, but i think i need to go find somebody to rant about this to first. i'm sitting here a ball of energy, of a kind of shock and yet at the same time a sort of "righteous indignation."
I HATE THE WAY COLLEGE IS TRYING TO BRAINWASH ME. YES, I WANT AN "OPEN" MIND OF SORTS. YES I WANT TO HAVE KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING OF THINGS, WAYS, AND BELIEFS OUTSIDE OF MY OWN. YES I KNOW I'M BIASED IN MANY WAYS. BUT I STILL FEEL AS IF COLLEGE IS TRYING TO BRAINWASH ME IN SOME WAYS. AND I AM OFFENDED BY THAT.
********************************************************************
ENTRY 2: (from 09/10)
okay, so give me some credit in that i revisited and reexamined my feelings of righteous indignation. i am still completely set in my beliefs, i still believe that the idea or concept or "reasonable doubt" that Jesus didn't know or believe who He was, that He finally took on the roll of Savior/Messiah to get His message across is hogwash, but i did have a very good conversation with my religion professor.
first off, i told him that i did not want to be perceived as "beligerently religious" nor did i take the course to spout off about my beliefs and yell "you're wrong!" at every opportunity that arose. i told him that i am completely set and content in my beliefs, but that i wanted to learn more about the other religions of the world, how they think and believe their religion, as well as how they perceive mine. i told him that i was "open-eared but close-minded." what i meant (and still mean) by that is that i'm willing to listen to anyone's beliefs, i'm willing to discuss and even learn things that maybe i haven't from my own, but that as for opening myself up to believing them, i have no desire to do that. i'm content, so why look for it somewhere else?
prof. told me that he appreciated and even encouraged my beligerance. (and i know i'm spelling beligerent a ton of different ways but i can't remember how to spell it.) he said that he is not there to convince anyone of anything, because he said that he even is not entirely convinced of his belief system but it's working good enough so he's content. he said he wants people to talk, to get beligerent so that we can learn together.
i really like this man, as a person i find his personality endearing and he's genuinely a nice guy. i find his belief systems to be quite odd, and incorrect, but that doesn't mean i won't respect him. and i also never meant for my previous entry about him to impy that i had a dislike for the man himself. it is his belief systems that i find "offensive" for lack of a better term. i am not offended by his beliefs, but it's the closest word i can find to the one i'm looking for. if you the reader have the word you think i'm looking for, please leave it in a note. :)
he also told me that he's being a bit "dramatic" about things, being a bit "beligerent" in hopes of "offending" people enough so that they speak out. this class doesn't like to speak, doesn't like to offer their own opinions. they sit there like sponges, not outwardly forming opinions or challenging others. we both agreed on that, so he's encouraged me to be "beligerent" and said "together we'll get them talking." prof. also said that he hopes students will go from his class stronger in their faith (whichever/whatever they believe in) but that they will have at least considered others, in that they will acknowledge, respect, and evaluate according to their terms.
prof. also encouraged me to keep bringing my Bible to class. to keep checking in it when he makes scripture references, to keep comparing and contrasting. to keep digging in, examining and reaffirming my faith. prof. also admitted to me that sometimes he still struggles with that feeling of completion that religion gives. that there is still a part of him that seems dissatisfied. i'm hoping that through my honesty, through my desire to learn and share the beautiful gift that my faith is to me, that maybe somehow i can help him.
i think that now begins a new season for me, one of study and a new kind of "intellectualism" if i may use that word. i never want to get so intellectual, so analytical and critical that i lose my feelings, that i lose my "heart evaluation" but i definitely want to be "educated" in the things that are important to me. i want to, as a quote said (i can't remember the author): "do not weep, do not wax indignant. understand." my understanding will come through my faith, through my following the way my Jesus has laid for me. and i can't wait to see what mysteries He will unravel, both inside my faith and inside my world.
my Jesus, my Teacher of Truth, thank You for my curious heart. Lord, thank You for the side of me that wants to understand. thank You for the ability and the capacity to learn. Father God, teach me what it means to be a true Believer. keep my ears open, my heart sensitive, my mind rooted in You. Jesus, help me to live by example, and to speak when necessary. thank You for those You have brought into my life that i might grow, both as a person on this earth and as Your child. i love You, and i'm amazed every single day at the different ways You work in and through my life. may i be worthy of Your attention, of Your wisdom and Your statutes. Father, may i truly medidate on Your word day and night, and find utmost joy in Your precepts. You are truly the Lover of my Soul, the Lover of the deepest part of me. You are my Creator, the One who formed and fashioned me according to Your purpose. keep showing me what that purpose is, how that purpose works, and the way to carry that purpose out to Your glory and my understanding. You are so holy, so beautiful, so worthy of all my adoration and praise. You are my provider, my teacher, my Father, my Friend. thank You so much.
ENTRY 1: (from 09/03)
okay, so maybe indignation is not the word i'm looking for, but for now it will have to do.
so i'm sitting in religion class, listening to my professor talk about primal religions and the like. at one point in the class "conversation"--if you can call it that. these people don't like to talk, and when they do it's just muttering and no one seems confident of anything, even their opinions. some are confident, but beligerently and i don't like that--my professor mentions that Jesus was very unsure of who He was. i just looked at the man and had to try not to laugh. i've studied the scriptures, i may not be as "learned" as some sholars, but i know Truth. of that i have no douts. professor went on to explain how through his life, Jesus was constantly askimg people about the nature or truth of His existence.
i can't help but be amazed at how learned this man is but how "ignorant" in his own right. yes, i'm biased to my own beliefs. and YES, i'm preconditioned to "judge" based on my personal truth perceptions and convictions. i admit it. freely. and i will also admit freely that i am completely confident in the Truth of what i believe. there is nothing on this earth, no person that can convince me otherwise.
ANYWAY, what i'm ranting about is there are so many times in the New Testament, in the gospels where Jesus says CLEARLY who He is, and when He does, He is COMPLETELY CONFIDENT OF HIS IDENTITY:
*when Jesus was twelve, and his parents and he traveled to Jerusalem "after the custom of the feast." they had all been in the temple, but Jesus returned unbeknownst to them. when they finally found Him, and scolded Him for disappearing, He said, "Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I had to be in my Father's house?" (paraphrased Luke 2:49 from the New King James Version). at this point in Judaism, there had not been a distinction made between a "Father God" and a "God the Son." God was considered a, rather, THE "Father" but in the largest sense of the word, not the personal connotation that Jesus used.
*confirmation of Jesus' identity as the Son of God BEFORE He began His ministry: "And Jesus, when He was baptized, went up from the water, and the heavens were opened and the Spirit of God descended on Him like a dove, and loud voice from Heaven said,'This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.'" (paraphrased from what i remember of the NIV version and the NKJV in front of me at the moment; Matthew 3:16-17.) this account is also found in Mark 1:9-11; Luke 3:21-22; John 1:29-36
these are the first recordings in the New Testament of Jesus' identity. i'll include more, but i think i need to go find somebody to rant about this to first. i'm sitting here a ball of energy, of a kind of shock and yet at the same time a sort of "righteous indignation."
I HATE THE WAY COLLEGE IS TRYING TO BRAINWASH ME. YES, I WANT AN "OPEN" MIND OF SORTS. YES I WANT TO HAVE KNOWLEDGE AND UNDERSTANDING OF THINGS, WAYS, AND BELIEFS OUTSIDE OF MY OWN. YES I KNOW I'M BIASED IN MANY WAYS. BUT I STILL FEEL AS IF COLLEGE IS TRYING TO BRAINWASH ME IN SOME WAYS. AND I AM OFFENDED BY THAT.
********************************************************************
ENTRY 2: (from 09/10)
okay, so give me some credit in that i revisited and reexamined my feelings of righteous indignation. i am still completely set in my beliefs, i still believe that the idea or concept or "reasonable doubt" that Jesus didn't know or believe who He was, that He finally took on the roll of Savior/Messiah to get His message across is hogwash, but i did have a very good conversation with my religion professor.
first off, i told him that i did not want to be perceived as "beligerently religious" nor did i take the course to spout off about my beliefs and yell "you're wrong!" at every opportunity that arose. i told him that i am completely set and content in my beliefs, but that i wanted to learn more about the other religions of the world, how they think and believe their religion, as well as how they perceive mine. i told him that i was "open-eared but close-minded." what i meant (and still mean) by that is that i'm willing to listen to anyone's beliefs, i'm willing to discuss and even learn things that maybe i haven't from my own, but that as for opening myself up to believing them, i have no desire to do that. i'm content, so why look for it somewhere else?
prof. told me that he appreciated and even encouraged my beligerance. (and i know i'm spelling beligerent a ton of different ways but i can't remember how to spell it.) he said that he is not there to convince anyone of anything, because he said that he even is not entirely convinced of his belief system but it's working good enough so he's content. he said he wants people to talk, to get beligerent so that we can learn together.
i really like this man, as a person i find his personality endearing and he's genuinely a nice guy. i find his belief systems to be quite odd, and incorrect, but that doesn't mean i won't respect him. and i also never meant for my previous entry about him to impy that i had a dislike for the man himself. it is his belief systems that i find "offensive" for lack of a better term. i am not offended by his beliefs, but it's the closest word i can find to the one i'm looking for. if you the reader have the word you think i'm looking for, please leave it in a note. :)
he also told me that he's being a bit "dramatic" about things, being a bit "beligerent" in hopes of "offending" people enough so that they speak out. this class doesn't like to speak, doesn't like to offer their own opinions. they sit there like sponges, not outwardly forming opinions or challenging others. we both agreed on that, so he's encouraged me to be "beligerent" and said "together we'll get them talking." prof. also said that he hopes students will go from his class stronger in their faith (whichever/whatever they believe in) but that they will have at least considered others, in that they will acknowledge, respect, and evaluate according to their terms.
prof. also encouraged me to keep bringing my Bible to class. to keep checking in it when he makes scripture references, to keep comparing and contrasting. to keep digging in, examining and reaffirming my faith. prof. also admitted to me that sometimes he still struggles with that feeling of completion that religion gives. that there is still a part of him that seems dissatisfied. i'm hoping that through my honesty, through my desire to learn and share the beautiful gift that my faith is to me, that maybe somehow i can help him.
i think that now begins a new season for me, one of study and a new kind of "intellectualism" if i may use that word. i never want to get so intellectual, so analytical and critical that i lose my feelings, that i lose my "heart evaluation" but i definitely want to be "educated" in the things that are important to me. i want to, as a quote said (i can't remember the author): "do not weep, do not wax indignant. understand." my understanding will come through my faith, through my following the way my Jesus has laid for me. and i can't wait to see what mysteries He will unravel, both inside my faith and inside my world.
my Jesus, my Teacher of Truth, thank You for my curious heart. Lord, thank You for the side of me that wants to understand. thank You for the ability and the capacity to learn. Father God, teach me what it means to be a true Believer. keep my ears open, my heart sensitive, my mind rooted in You. Jesus, help me to live by example, and to speak when necessary. thank You for those You have brought into my life that i might grow, both as a person on this earth and as Your child. i love You, and i'm amazed every single day at the different ways You work in and through my life. may i be worthy of Your attention, of Your wisdom and Your statutes. Father, may i truly medidate on Your word day and night, and find utmost joy in Your precepts. You are truly the Lover of my Soul, the Lover of the deepest part of me. You are my Creator, the One who formed and fashioned me according to Your purpose. keep showing me what that purpose is, how that purpose works, and the way to carry that purpose out to Your glory and my understanding. You are so holy, so beautiful, so worthy of all my adoration and praise. You are my provider, my teacher, my Father, my Friend. thank You so much.