(no subject)
'I hope not, aunt; but why should you fear it?'
'Because, my dear, beauty is that quality which, next to money, is generally the most attractive to the worst kinds of men; and, therefore, is liked to entail a great deal of trouble on the possessor.'
'Have you been troubled in that way, aunt?'
'No, Helen,' said she, with reproachful gravity, ' but I know many that have; and some, through weakness, have fallen into snares and temptations terrible to relate.'
'Well, I shall be neither careless nor weak.'
'Remember Peter, Helen! Don't boast, but watch. Keep a guard over your eyes and ears as the inlets of your heart, and over your lips as the outlet, lest they betray you in a moment of unwariness. Receive, coldly and dispassionately, every attention, till you have ascertained and duly considered the worth of the aspirant; and let your affections be consequent upon approbation alone. First study; then approve; then love. Let your eyes be blind to all external attractions, your ears deaf to all the fascinations of flattery and light discourse - These are nothing - and worse than nothing - snares and wiles of the tempter, to lure the thoughtless to their own destruction. Principle is the first thing, after all; and next to that, good sense, respectability, and moderate wealth. If you should marry the handsomest, and most accomplished and superficially agreeable man in the world, you little know the misery that would overwhelm you, if, after all, you should find him to be a worthless reprobate, or even an impracticable fool.'
'But what are the all the poor fools and reprobates to do, aunt? If everybody followed your advice the world would soon come to an end.'
'Never fear, my dear! The male fools and reprobates will never want for partners while there are so many of the other sex to match them; but do you follow my advice. And this is no subject for jesting, Helen, I am sorry to see you treat the matter in that light way. Believe me, matrimony is a serious thing.' And she spoke it so seriously that one might have fancied she had known it to her cost; but I asked her no more impertinent questions, and merely answered -
'I know it is; and I know there is truth and sense in what you say; but you need not fear me, for I not only should thing it wrong to marry a man that was deficient in sense or in principle, but I should never be tempted to do it; for I could not like him, if he were ever so handsome and ever so charming in other respects; I should hate him - despise him - pity him - anything but love him. My affections not only ought to be founded on approbation, but they will and must be so: for without approving I cannot love. It is needless to say I ought to be able to respect and honour the man I marry as well as love him, for I cannot love him without. So set your mind at rest.'
Page 104, The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, Anne Bronte
'Because, my dear, beauty is that quality which, next to money, is generally the most attractive to the worst kinds of men; and, therefore, is liked to entail a great deal of trouble on the possessor.'
'Have you been troubled in that way, aunt?'
'No, Helen,' said she, with reproachful gravity, ' but I know many that have; and some, through weakness, have fallen into snares and temptations terrible to relate.'
'Well, I shall be neither careless nor weak.'
'Remember Peter, Helen! Don't boast, but watch. Keep a guard over your eyes and ears as the inlets of your heart, and over your lips as the outlet, lest they betray you in a moment of unwariness. Receive, coldly and dispassionately, every attention, till you have ascertained and duly considered the worth of the aspirant; and let your affections be consequent upon approbation alone. First study; then approve; then love. Let your eyes be blind to all external attractions, your ears deaf to all the fascinations of flattery and light discourse - These are nothing - and worse than nothing - snares and wiles of the tempter, to lure the thoughtless to their own destruction. Principle is the first thing, after all; and next to that, good sense, respectability, and moderate wealth. If you should marry the handsomest, and most accomplished and superficially agreeable man in the world, you little know the misery that would overwhelm you, if, after all, you should find him to be a worthless reprobate, or even an impracticable fool.'
'But what are the all the poor fools and reprobates to do, aunt? If everybody followed your advice the world would soon come to an end.'
'Never fear, my dear! The male fools and reprobates will never want for partners while there are so many of the other sex to match them; but do you follow my advice. And this is no subject for jesting, Helen, I am sorry to see you treat the matter in that light way. Believe me, matrimony is a serious thing.' And she spoke it so seriously that one might have fancied she had known it to her cost; but I asked her no more impertinent questions, and merely answered -
'I know it is; and I know there is truth and sense in what you say; but you need not fear me, for I not only should thing it wrong to marry a man that was deficient in sense or in principle, but I should never be tempted to do it; for I could not like him, if he were ever so handsome and ever so charming in other respects; I should hate him - despise him - pity him - anything but love him. My affections not only ought to be founded on approbation, but they will and must be so: for without approving I cannot love. It is needless to say I ought to be able to respect and honour the man I marry as well as love him, for I cannot love him without. So set your mind at rest.'
Page 104, The Tenant of Wildfell Hall, Anne Bronte