~*I shrink and shrink..until I'm gone..*~
-[Well. This holiday season is definately not filled w/ happiness or anything of that sort. I've gone through more this year than I ever thought I would. I know now that I'm percieved as a failure by 99% of my family, more so now then ever. That is definately something I have known but it has just become apparent to me. A lot of my actions have made that right, I guess..in them thinking things like that. I've been in tears and just feeling so far behind of where I should be to ever grasp anything ahead. I have only a few weeks until my health insurance gets cancelled because I'm not an active student w/ enrolled classes. I don't have a job at the moment, which is stupid seeing as there is a lot of holiday help wanted but it is far to late for that, obviously. I will overcome this all and make use of the years I have thrown away when I've been focusing on things that shouldn't be important now, that can definately wait for when I am established and ready.
I have so much I want to see and do..travel..see Europe..paint..sing..Soooooooo much...and I've just been sitting back letting time fly without a care. Now is when I should be enjoying my life and making it better for myself instead of moping around the hole I throw myself in. My eyes are finally open and it feels great. I just hope that this stays the same and I don't lose my hold again. I constantly do that...everyone has dreams but people who make it through and persue are my heros. I guess I will try to be one of those people someday. I guess I felt like everything is unattainable to me, that it is to far out of reach..I've been more wrong then ever.
I guess my most fond new year resolution is making my life anew.
No more drama, or unnecessary actions.
Amen to this.]-
I have so much I want to see and do..travel..see Europe..paint..sing..Soooooooo much...and I've just been sitting back letting time fly without a care. Now is when I should be enjoying my life and making it better for myself instead of moping around the hole I throw myself in. My eyes are finally open and it feels great. I just hope that this stays the same and I don't lose my hold again. I constantly do that...everyone has dreams but people who make it through and persue are my heros. I guess I will try to be one of those people someday. I guess I felt like everything is unattainable to me, that it is to far out of reach..I've been more wrong then ever.
I guess my most fond new year resolution is making my life anew.
No more drama, or unnecessary actions.
Amen to this.]-