~*I've lost my sense of knowing..*~
-[You know how they say...'You teenage years are the best of your life?'...Well, if that is fucking true, I seriously missed out. I know what happens in life is basically brought on by yourself. A lot of fucked up situations and no one to blame but yourself. I guess that is the life I was meant to experience...and I feel cheated. I'm disgusted and just somewhat hopeless. So much for what..?
I'm almost 19, and all my years where I'm supposed to have a lot of friends, memories, and all of the like. I have nothing. No fond memories, anyway. If they were faintly good, it was in between the times David wasn't fucked up on meth, or Ian was actually at home..They provided me with fake happiness..I know that you shouldn't depend on others for what you feel..well, I must be a fucking loser because that is exactly what happens. I give my all to people, even just friends, and get fucked over in the end anyway.
·I'm a whore
·I'm a liar
·I'm incapable of being in love at 18.
·My age seems to define my readiness for life
All of these things, people think of me..? Who the FUCK are these people to judge who or what I am.
FUCK ALL OF YOU!!!!!
Because it's people like you who make this world a shitty fucking place to live in with your diseased notions and thoughts.
I've come to terms with knowing that only one person really knows me thick and thin, but hardly anymore.
Everyone moves on in their life. They say some hurtful things when they're mad, nice ones when don't see you as a demon. It's just funny how it all comes down to the balance of good and evil, I guess it really is universal. I just wish this world would hurry up and let me off.
I'm almost 19...okay...so that means:
A.) I should be driving
B.) Have a steady job
C.) Have my own car.
Okay...I don't? So fucking what. I'm not a fucking slave to this system. I know there is more to life then worrying about bills, schedules and all that. I know at some point I will have to face those facts, and one day I shall. But this life was meant to LIVE not fucking worry about when your next paycheck is coming in so you can spend money on shitty material things that either fade or break with time...Or when you have to send in your next bill to be paid.
I'm explaining only because I am so fucking fed up w/ people.
I really fucking am.
That is all.]-
I'm almost 19, and all my years where I'm supposed to have a lot of friends, memories, and all of the like. I have nothing. No fond memories, anyway. If they were faintly good, it was in between the times David wasn't fucked up on meth, or Ian was actually at home..They provided me with fake happiness..I know that you shouldn't depend on others for what you feel..well, I must be a fucking loser because that is exactly what happens. I give my all to people, even just friends, and get fucked over in the end anyway.
·I'm a whore
·I'm a liar
·I'm incapable of being in love at 18.
·My age seems to define my readiness for life
All of these things, people think of me..? Who the FUCK are these people to judge who or what I am.
FUCK ALL OF YOU!!!!!
Because it's people like you who make this world a shitty fucking place to live in with your diseased notions and thoughts.
I've come to terms with knowing that only one person really knows me thick and thin, but hardly anymore.
Everyone moves on in their life. They say some hurtful things when they're mad, nice ones when don't see you as a demon. It's just funny how it all comes down to the balance of good and evil, I guess it really is universal. I just wish this world would hurry up and let me off.
I'm almost 19...okay...so that means:
A.) I should be driving
B.) Have a steady job
C.) Have my own car.
Okay...I don't? So fucking what. I'm not a fucking slave to this system. I know there is more to life then worrying about bills, schedules and all that. I know at some point I will have to face those facts, and one day I shall. But this life was meant to LIVE not fucking worry about when your next paycheck is coming in so you can spend money on shitty material things that either fade or break with time...Or when you have to send in your next bill to be paid.
I'm explaining only because I am so fucking fed up w/ people.
I really fucking am.
That is all.]-