a rare random post
3:42 am and i'm wide awake, ill prolly crash soon at wake up around 12noon, run some errands and then off to greenville to see my dad. we are going to stop by my grandmothers, get some beer and pizza and then go to the dirt tack races. don't laugh i've always wanted to go to the races there since i was a little kid.
my life hasn't changed much since graduation. flipside felt alone and different. maybe i put so much work into it before hand that it was weird when it didn't feel the way i wanted it to. i was alone allot of the time with people going off in little groups or couples. i tried going out alone and saw some and did some great things but it always easier to have a buddy i guess.
i haven't felt like looking for a job in my new career field. Ive browsed a few listings here and there but eventually8 give up and search for RV;s or truck i cannot afford. one begets the other i guess as i need big money to buy these things. i guess i have a bit of wanderlust and while i feel so alone i think starting somewhere else might be what i need.
however i don't want to be alone - i like the people and friends im with now. sure working nights suck and you miss out on allot of stuff.
maybe its me turning 30 next month.
maybe its the ex ex finding out she was pregnant with a guy she's been with for 3 months after begging me to..again and again
maybe its my baby sister graduating high school
maybe it was the solid time i spent with my little niece
maybe it me being jealous of my mom flying to guam to see my nephew
maybe its me being jealous of my sisters
i really just don't know what to do
my life hasn't changed much since graduation. flipside felt alone and different. maybe i put so much work into it before hand that it was weird when it didn't feel the way i wanted it to. i was alone allot of the time with people going off in little groups or couples. i tried going out alone and saw some and did some great things but it always easier to have a buddy i guess.
i haven't felt like looking for a job in my new career field. Ive browsed a few listings here and there but eventually8 give up and search for RV;s or truck i cannot afford. one begets the other i guess as i need big money to buy these things. i guess i have a bit of wanderlust and while i feel so alone i think starting somewhere else might be what i need.
however i don't want to be alone - i like the people and friends im with now. sure working nights suck and you miss out on allot of stuff.
maybe its me turning 30 next month.
maybe its the ex ex finding out she was pregnant with a guy she's been with for 3 months after begging me to..again and again
maybe its my baby sister graduating high school
maybe it was the solid time i spent with my little niece
maybe it me being jealous of my mom flying to guam to see my nephew
maybe its me being jealous of my sisters
i really just don't know what to do