Toot

[unpossibly]

So this may be TMI, but one of the worst situations to be in is to be in the middle of a conversation with someone of the opposite sex -- perhaps it's a date, perhaps you're just meeting up for coffee, or maybe you two are in a car driving someplace; in any case it's just you and that person -- and... you have to fart. Not just a little thing that no one will notice. Not one where you can let out in small, short but slow bursts to mitigate its effect. Not one where you can pass off the blame. No, this is one that you know may will cause a great disturbance in the Force. And you're just holding it, holding it, trying to pay attention to what the other person is saying, smiling when appropriate, hoping that person doesn't actually make you laugh because that's how accidents happen, and all the while on the inside, you're in the deepest agony, all your muscles are clenched and straining to hold in this toxic pocket of air, and you're wondering if you're actually doing irreparable damage to your insides trying to maintain containment for so long. Oh, and the place you're at has no nearby restroom to excuse yourself.

I share this because a) not many people read this blog anyway, and b) I know each of you have been in this situation before, and if you say you haven't, you're lying dammit!