corey hart had the right idea...
this is how i "feel" right now. and i know everyone is going to judge this for sounding melodramatic, but i'm ok with that.
there is a very good reason i should never try to let people help and comfort me, never tell people my problems. there is a very good reason why i never have, why i never will again. they ALWAYS let me down. hardcore. not even a "how are you, by the way, i know you're going through some hard stuff, are you going to be ok?"
which is why i wear my sunglasses...at night, in the morning, all fuckin day. because if eyes are the windows to the soul, then i don't want anyone to be able to look in. not because i don't want them to see, but because i'm afraid of what i'd see. that they just don't care.
everyone has their own drama and apparently we're all self-centered assholes. don't even try to deny it as you read this, you know it's true. you know you care more about your own bs than you'd ever care about someone else's. the paradox? you feel hurt when people don't act like they care about your shit more than they care about theirs.
and of course i act like i care. i always have and i always will. because i do care. i care a whole fucking lot. i really do, which is what hurts me so much. because the few times that i do make myself vulnerable, would it be wrong to expect a little concern in return? apparently it would be.
that's alright though, i've learned this lesson again. i'll go back to being everyone's shoulder, because i like being there for people. sometimes i just wish there was someone there for me.
to prove my point, i'm disabling comments on this entry...that way i will never have to wonder if you read this entry, wonder if you give a damn or not.
now where are my bloody sunglasses....
there is a very good reason i should never try to let people help and comfort me, never tell people my problems. there is a very good reason why i never have, why i never will again. they ALWAYS let me down. hardcore. not even a "how are you, by the way, i know you're going through some hard stuff, are you going to be ok?"
which is why i wear my sunglasses...at night, in the morning, all fuckin day. because if eyes are the windows to the soul, then i don't want anyone to be able to look in. not because i don't want them to see, but because i'm afraid of what i'd see. that they just don't care.
everyone has their own drama and apparently we're all self-centered assholes. don't even try to deny it as you read this, you know it's true. you know you care more about your own bs than you'd ever care about someone else's. the paradox? you feel hurt when people don't act like they care about your shit more than they care about theirs.
and of course i act like i care. i always have and i always will. because i do care. i care a whole fucking lot. i really do, which is what hurts me so much. because the few times that i do make myself vulnerable, would it be wrong to expect a little concern in return? apparently it would be.
that's alright though, i've learned this lesson again. i'll go back to being everyone's shoulder, because i like being there for people. sometimes i just wish there was someone there for me.
to prove my point, i'm disabling comments on this entry...that way i will never have to wonder if you read this entry, wonder if you give a damn or not.
now where are my bloody sunglasses....