Time
Time. They say time heals all wounds. Time erases pain.
In this world, all any of us really wants is more time. Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go. Time to change. Time to make things better. Time to make up for past mistakes. And lastly, the time to do what must be done.
This was my time.
I stand here now behind Susan's hospital room, anxious, confused, scared. My eyes are transfixed on the door knob as though simultaneously willing it to open and wanting it to remain shut. I have certainly bought more time than what was necessary. And now, more than ever, I had to do what I ought to have done weeks ago.
I reached out for the silver knob, pulling back when my hand was a few inches from the shiny metal.
No. I can’t. Not yet.
I paced the corridors back and forth. Back and forth.
What is bloody happening here, you twat? We’ve talked about this at the flat!
We? Who are you?!
Your conscience.
Well, I don’t know! I don’t bloody know! And I’m not a twat.
Yes you are. You flaming idiot. I told you that little hiatus was a massive mistake.
Oh bugger off.
The heels of my shoes are making low clicking noises against the marble, I just noticed. I stopped just beside the doorway and leaned my forehead against the wall.
Merlin! She will kill me. Or worse, she might not even look at me.
After a few more minutes of planning and practicing dialogue in my head, I finally decided to go in. But unknown to me, the door had swung open and Susan was looking at me rather intently, as though fathoming if I was a ghost.
“Susie...” I began. "I..."
“Get away from me.” She said coldly and slammed the door shut behind her.
In this world, all any of us really wants is more time. Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go. Time to change. Time to make things better. Time to make up for past mistakes. And lastly, the time to do what must be done.
This was my time.
I stand here now behind Susan's hospital room, anxious, confused, scared. My eyes are transfixed on the door knob as though simultaneously willing it to open and wanting it to remain shut. I have certainly bought more time than what was necessary. And now, more than ever, I had to do what I ought to have done weeks ago.
I reached out for the silver knob, pulling back when my hand was a few inches from the shiny metal.
No. I can’t. Not yet.
I paced the corridors back and forth. Back and forth.
What is bloody happening here, you twat? We’ve talked about this at the flat!
We? Who are you?!
Your conscience.
Well, I don’t know! I don’t bloody know! And I’m not a twat.
Yes you are. You flaming idiot. I told you that little hiatus was a massive mistake.
Oh bugger off.
The heels of my shoes are making low clicking noises against the marble, I just noticed. I stopped just beside the doorway and leaned my forehead against the wall.
Merlin! She will kill me. Or worse, she might not even look at me.
After a few more minutes of planning and practicing dialogue in my head, I finally decided to go in. But unknown to me, the door had swung open and Susan was looking at me rather intently, as though fathoming if I was a ghost.
“Susie...” I began. "I..."
“Get away from me.” She said coldly and slammed the door shut behind her.