(no subject)
So things are going well I suppose.
Work is absolutley crazy. Niagara County Rape Crisis will be shutting down and transitioning to a new agency. Well hopefully. I think that is what they are telling me to keep me working until the end in hopes that my job will still be there just at a new agency. It is very frustrating getting a job you absolutley love and then having it taken from you because some of those who work in the Niagara Coutny Department of Mental Health are control freaks and if they cannot get people to do whatever they want they bully them into it. If the bullying doesn't work they just shut them down. Which is what is happening to my coordinator and myself. It sucks. The trasition will take a while though so I still have my job for now.
It is a very busy time though. Sexual Assault Awareness month is April and we are planning for that. Having only myself and Mary running the program is wearing both of us down. We are pretty much holding Rape Crisis for the entire county on our shoulders. At least I am making a difference in the lives of the women who I see. My client's make me a stronger woman.
For the first time I had to tell a client her perpetrator would not be prosecuted. He is basically getting away with raping her. She broke down in my office. It is hard to tell them something to make them feel like they are not defeated. Which she isn't. She is a survivor and she stood up for herself. It is more than most women do. I am proud of her.
I have a lot on my mind right now. Mostly because I am so freaking busy.
Things with Reuben are dull. He is still more interested in weed. I know I need to break up with him. We are at completly different places in our lives. I just don't know if I want to let go though. I love him. It sickens me. Literally. He means everything to me but I know I don't mean that much to him. It makes is very difficult. I want to be excited again.
Ugh. Maybe things aren't so well.
My aunt passed away last week and becasue I was seeing my mother my grandmother (Dad's mom) wouldn't let me go to my Aunt's service because she was mad at me for it. She can't let my mother get the best of her, but she does and she takes it out on me in petty ways. I feel bad for my grandma. She holds so much anger inside of her towards my mother. It is not healthy. I let it go. Why can't she? I was the one being hurt by my mother, not her. Oh, whatever.
I still felt bad I did not go to her service though. I hope she forgives me even though she was a nasty person when she was alive.
Also, my surgery has been put off until I find out what is going on with my job. With no promise of a job in the near future I cannot afford to take 3 weeks off work.
I don't think any of this made sense.
Sorry it was so long winded.
I hope everyone is doing well. I miss you guys.
Work is absolutley crazy. Niagara County Rape Crisis will be shutting down and transitioning to a new agency. Well hopefully. I think that is what they are telling me to keep me working until the end in hopes that my job will still be there just at a new agency. It is very frustrating getting a job you absolutley love and then having it taken from you because some of those who work in the Niagara Coutny Department of Mental Health are control freaks and if they cannot get people to do whatever they want they bully them into it. If the bullying doesn't work they just shut them down. Which is what is happening to my coordinator and myself. It sucks. The trasition will take a while though so I still have my job for now.
It is a very busy time though. Sexual Assault Awareness month is April and we are planning for that. Having only myself and Mary running the program is wearing both of us down. We are pretty much holding Rape Crisis for the entire county on our shoulders. At least I am making a difference in the lives of the women who I see. My client's make me a stronger woman.
For the first time I had to tell a client her perpetrator would not be prosecuted. He is basically getting away with raping her. She broke down in my office. It is hard to tell them something to make them feel like they are not defeated. Which she isn't. She is a survivor and she stood up for herself. It is more than most women do. I am proud of her.
I have a lot on my mind right now. Mostly because I am so freaking busy.
Things with Reuben are dull. He is still more interested in weed. I know I need to break up with him. We are at completly different places in our lives. I just don't know if I want to let go though. I love him. It sickens me. Literally. He means everything to me but I know I don't mean that much to him. It makes is very difficult. I want to be excited again.
Ugh. Maybe things aren't so well.
My aunt passed away last week and becasue I was seeing my mother my grandmother (Dad's mom) wouldn't let me go to my Aunt's service because she was mad at me for it. She can't let my mother get the best of her, but she does and she takes it out on me in petty ways. I feel bad for my grandma. She holds so much anger inside of her towards my mother. It is not healthy. I let it go. Why can't she? I was the one being hurt by my mother, not her. Oh, whatever.
I still felt bad I did not go to her service though. I hope she forgives me even though she was a nasty person when she was alive.
Also, my surgery has been put off until I find out what is going on with my job. With no promise of a job in the near future I cannot afford to take 3 weeks off work.
I don't think any of this made sense.
Sorry it was so long winded.
I hope everyone is doing well. I miss you guys.