(no subject)
I hate that he only hangs out with guys that have the mentality of a 14 year old. With the exception of a few. I hate the way they talk. I hate the way they degrade woman. I hate the way weed is the most important thing to them. I hate that he chooses that over me. I hate that it's who he is. I hate that I love him so much. I hate that he cares for me so little. I hate that I would take a bullet for him and he wouldn't take a needle for me. I hate that he never stands up for me. I hate that I would defend him to the ends of this earth. I hate who I love.
I am so depressed. I try to hide it. I try to pretend like everything is just great. I try to pretend that I don't know I can do better. I hate that I love him so fucking much it tears me up inside. Slowly but surely it is slipping out. People are noticing my feelings. Everyone but him.
I am an adult. I am ready to grow up. I am grown up. I have my career. I have a goal. I have a plan. He has nothing, nothing but his friends and weed. Grant it I do love some of them. But most are just dragging him down. I want more. But I don't want to give him up. I love him so much it hurts me.
What do I do?
I am so depressed. I try to hide it. I try to pretend like everything is just great. I try to pretend that I don't know I can do better. I hate that I love him so fucking much it tears me up inside. Slowly but surely it is slipping out. People are noticing my feelings. Everyone but him.
I am an adult. I am ready to grow up. I am grown up. I have my career. I have a goal. I have a plan. He has nothing, nothing but his friends and weed. Grant it I do love some of them. But most are just dragging him down. I want more. But I don't want to give him up. I love him so much it hurts me.
What do I do?