Pet Sounds
Good Evening! Despite my earnest promises I've still been a lazy git and not posted any new rhymes, it's quite disgusting.
But aha - all that's about to change, as I bravely wheel out the newest addition to my Musey poetry stable, based on an odd thread I began ages ago on Muselive about which pets would suit the members of Muse best. Hope it makes you grin rather than cringe, thanks for reading anyway
*ingratiating grin*
Pet Sounds
"Raining, raining, bloody rain, as if the ride's not dull enough"
A Bellamy was moaning as the tour bus crossed a flat, beige plain
He'd pondered for a while on thoughts of secrets, lies and alien stuff
and now was wanting more to tease and occupy his busy brain
His blondie bandmate Dominic was trying hard to concentrate
on pages in his drummer's mag with tasty pics of sparkly kits
But Matthew hissed and huffed and shuffled nearer so the obvious fate
was "Big Bang Weekly"'s instant whisking far away from Howard's mitts
"Aww, bog off, Bells, why don't you go and bother Chris? demanded Dom
But Bellamy just tweaked Dom's nipples, mussed his hair and plonked his bum
upon the cushion, soft and warm, which Chris had just departed from
to make some tea and thus escape the twittering so sure to come
"He's brewing up - four sugars please - let's have a cosy little chat"
But Dommie was too occupied with teasing back his flaxen mane
"You've spoiled my 'do!" he whined, "I look just like a hedge-dragged-backwards cat!"
Then sighed, resigned, as Matthew's eyes lit up, his inspiration plain
"What's grabbed you now?" asked Chris, arriving carrying cake and steaming mugs
"I've seen that look before, does this mean costumes, masks or mushroom spree?"
"P'raps later on," smirked Matt, "but now if Dom resists my strokes and hugs
I'm going to need a pet to love instead, so what's the one for me?
A thoughtful pause ensued, while tea was slurped and options buzzed the air
"Well, not a dog, of course," said Chris, "your screams would fry its well-tuned ears"
"Such cheek!" gasped Matt, already pitched as high as bats could safely bear,
eyes azure, wide with half-meant shock, theatrical with phantom tears
"You great big drama queen," Dom sighed, "I know the very pet for you
- a siamese cat with gangly legs and yowls straight from the depths of Hell.
A mog with attitude in spades and two big eyes of baby blue.
Don't gawp like that, a Matt-like cat would surely suit you really well"
Chris nodded, Dom was just so right, and Matt gave out a crooked grin
He placed a playful kiss upon the drummer's nearest cake-filled cheek
"A parrot though, for you," he beamed, "whose singing makes an awful din,
as bright as all your skinnies, dressed to kill, attention sure to seek"
Dom's smile was high in megawatts, "I rather like that thought," said he
"I'd call him Horace, quite unlike the alien name that you'd delight
in placing on your strangeling puss, a string of x and z and v
Which only you would have the nerve to call out of the door at night"
"Of course! No pet of mine would have a humdrum name," said Matt, "But Chris
might want first call on 'Horace' for his latest sprog that's on the way"
But "Nah," said Chris, "A girl this time, I'd bet my favourite bass on this,
the Wolstensperm is never wrong, and Kels is keen on 'Daisy May'"
His manly pedro woofled and he smugly did more tea imbibe
"It's your turn next," suggested Dom, "Perhaps a guinea pig or fish?"
Chris sighed at this, put down his mug and said "OK, I'll just describe
what would go on if I gave in and got a pet to grant your wish.
I'd choose a dog, a bear-like dog, with pointy teeth and fuck-off glare
A blokey bloke like me can't ponce about with fluffy rat-like mutts.
I'd lead him home, we'd even have the same brown eyes and bristly hair,
and stride along like two big scary thugs who'd love to kick your butts
But though you two have christened both your pets to suit your want and whim
My dog's name would be topmost prize in some infernal kiddie game
And when all's done I know the title sure to be bestowed on him
What growler can command respect with 'Mr Woofy' as his name?"
But aha - all that's about to change, as I bravely wheel out the newest addition to my Musey poetry stable, based on an odd thread I began ages ago on Muselive about which pets would suit the members of Muse best. Hope it makes you grin rather than cringe, thanks for reading anyway
*ingratiating grin*
Pet Sounds
"Raining, raining, bloody rain, as if the ride's not dull enough"
A Bellamy was moaning as the tour bus crossed a flat, beige plain
He'd pondered for a while on thoughts of secrets, lies and alien stuff
and now was wanting more to tease and occupy his busy brain
His blondie bandmate Dominic was trying hard to concentrate
on pages in his drummer's mag with tasty pics of sparkly kits
But Matthew hissed and huffed and shuffled nearer so the obvious fate
was "Big Bang Weekly"'s instant whisking far away from Howard's mitts
"Aww, bog off, Bells, why don't you go and bother Chris? demanded Dom
But Bellamy just tweaked Dom's nipples, mussed his hair and plonked his bum
upon the cushion, soft and warm, which Chris had just departed from
to make some tea and thus escape the twittering so sure to come
"He's brewing up - four sugars please - let's have a cosy little chat"
But Dommie was too occupied with teasing back his flaxen mane
"You've spoiled my 'do!" he whined, "I look just like a hedge-dragged-backwards cat!"
Then sighed, resigned, as Matthew's eyes lit up, his inspiration plain
"What's grabbed you now?" asked Chris, arriving carrying cake and steaming mugs
"I've seen that look before, does this mean costumes, masks or mushroom spree?"
"P'raps later on," smirked Matt, "but now if Dom resists my strokes and hugs
I'm going to need a pet to love instead, so what's the one for me?
A thoughtful pause ensued, while tea was slurped and options buzzed the air
"Well, not a dog, of course," said Chris, "your screams would fry its well-tuned ears"
"Such cheek!" gasped Matt, already pitched as high as bats could safely bear,
eyes azure, wide with half-meant shock, theatrical with phantom tears
"You great big drama queen," Dom sighed, "I know the very pet for you
- a siamese cat with gangly legs and yowls straight from the depths of Hell.
A mog with attitude in spades and two big eyes of baby blue.
Don't gawp like that, a Matt-like cat would surely suit you really well"
Chris nodded, Dom was just so right, and Matt gave out a crooked grin
He placed a playful kiss upon the drummer's nearest cake-filled cheek
"A parrot though, for you," he beamed, "whose singing makes an awful din,
as bright as all your skinnies, dressed to kill, attention sure to seek"
Dom's smile was high in megawatts, "I rather like that thought," said he
"I'd call him Horace, quite unlike the alien name that you'd delight
in placing on your strangeling puss, a string of x and z and v
Which only you would have the nerve to call out of the door at night"
"Of course! No pet of mine would have a humdrum name," said Matt, "But Chris
might want first call on 'Horace' for his latest sprog that's on the way"
But "Nah," said Chris, "A girl this time, I'd bet my favourite bass on this,
the Wolstensperm is never wrong, and Kels is keen on 'Daisy May'"
His manly pedro woofled and he smugly did more tea imbibe
"It's your turn next," suggested Dom, "Perhaps a guinea pig or fish?"
Chris sighed at this, put down his mug and said "OK, I'll just describe
what would go on if I gave in and got a pet to grant your wish.
I'd choose a dog, a bear-like dog, with pointy teeth and fuck-off glare
A blokey bloke like me can't ponce about with fluffy rat-like mutts.
I'd lead him home, we'd even have the same brown eyes and bristly hair,
and stride along like two big scary thugs who'd love to kick your butts
But though you two have christened both your pets to suit your want and whim
My dog's name would be topmost prize in some infernal kiddie game
And when all's done I know the title sure to be bestowed on him
What growler can command respect with 'Mr Woofy' as his name?"