Promise
Some of you might know my penchant for daft Musey poetry. Depending on your viewpoint, it's either been a good or a bad thing that I've not been motivated to write a single rhyme since last December's Santa's List, but as I was bemoaning the fact that I hardly ever get a tasty Muse dream it suddenly struck me that I could put it all right. At least in Jill's Fantasy World......Promise.....
Snoozing cosy in my bed
A vivid dream came creeping
It seemed that I sat up, awake
Though I was really sleeping
And there he was, as large as life
The Bellamy was standing
right next to me, and Chris and Dom
were lurking on the landing
At last! About time too, my chance
to play the Muse nymphette!
But Matt just gazed at me and sighed
"We're really quite upset"
"You're wha...?" was all my lips could form
While naughty Dom stood spying
my motley undies, draped upon
the radiator, drying
Oh shit! That's just my luck
to get a wash-day Musey visit
To have them faced with soggy smalls
It's not too clever, is it?
But Matt's eyes drew me back
He spoke and shocked me to the core
"You never write us poems,
don't you love us any more?"
His puzzled face tore holes in me
I knew I was to blame
And Chris came frowning round the door
So doubling the shame
"You see...it's been a busy year..."
The guilt weighed like a ton
It had indeed been twelve whole months
since Musey rhymes I'd spun
It sounded lame and useless
I'd been terribly remiss
So in reply the lads grouped close
and stared at me like this
"You think you've had a hectic time?"
Said Matt, accusingly
"Just look at all the things WE'VE done
since your last poetry
"We had an album out, we went on tour,
we went on telly
Chris gave up booze, how else d'you think
he got rid of that belly?
"The gigs we played were epic
we all know you came to bop
You were down the front at Liverpool
and nearly lost your top"
(This last caused Dom to giggle
as he poked amongst my washing
And Chris let out a snigger
he'd completely failed at squashing)
"I wore a massive load of brilliant gear
so cool and trendy
And pulled a bunch of sexy shapes
to prove I'm hot and bendy
"Helsinki Jam and Dom's new kit
The towers in the air
We all dressed up for Halloween
Remember? You were there!
"The twitpics posted night and day
from every fab location
We posed, you smirked, but nothing worked
for your imagination
"Not even Dom with all those babes
awash in the jacuzzi
It took four hours to get him out
he's such a shameless floozy"
A muffled "heh!" from Dom was heard
while Chris cooed "come to Daddy"
picked up and stroked the passing cat
just like a James Bond baddie
While I still sat there, wishing
I was there in Puss's place
Matt had produced a big long list
to wave before my face
"Ahem" he cleared his throat
and raised an eyebrow mockingly
"just listen, here's a lot more things
ignored so shockingly"
He squinted at the paper
and in tones severe and clipped
he read aloud the contents
scrawled there in his spidery script
"Unite Eurasia treasure trail
Bellamy wins Sexiest Male *cough*
Uprising spoofed Doctor Who
Teignmouth Seaside Rendezvous
VMA's and U2 slot
Twilight! Did we lose the plot?
Emu fringes, granny coat
MK Ultra! Scream and gloat!
Albert Hall for charity
Off abroad for touring spree
Dead Cuts, Sunburn on parade
B & H we proudly played
Not to mention we came through
with I Can't Take my Eyes off You
Dom's green cartoon alien suit
Movember Chris made stacks of loot
Got festooned with orange wires
while filming Undisclosed Desires
Off to Kiwi Land and Oz
Which we all adored, because
loads of time off in the sun
soothed our stress and oozed with fun
So onstage we could attack
at full throttle Back in Black
Tight teal trousers, tartan shorts
Complete unknowns in news reports
Won a bet with Lily A
when tennis scores turned out my way
Singapore and then Hong Kong
US tour before too long
Stadium dates and Glasto show
Awards piled up like drifts of snow
Chris became a proud new Dad,
I even tongued my Kaoss pad
So just what to we have to do
To light poetic flames in you?"
I must admit, my mind did stray
into the realms of smut
But Dom just eyed my ageing bras
and gave a sorry "tut"
And so, chastised, I hoped
that I could melt right through the floor
But Chris loomed close and took my hand
into his manly paw
He smiled at me, his big brown eyes
as warm as melted choc
And fired with vast encouragement
My heartbeat ran amok
"You're right! I really can't believe
I let you down this way
and made you doubt how much I care
I'm bad and I must pay!"
This must have struck a chord in Dom
So quick did he appear
And full of filthy, mad ideas
to whisper in my ear
"Ahh..maybe some day soon..."
(the man is truly such a perve)
"But now I'll get straight back and write
the rhymes you so deserve
"I'll start first thing tomorrow
and not skive a moment more
I'll never test your faith again
Trust me - you can be sure"
Matt nodded like a solemn owl
then grinned in wicked style
"Of course, we always knew you were
a total Muse-o-phile
"But just to pep you up a bit
We wanted to drop by
And come back soon - there's some
of Dom's ideas I'd like to try"
Did I hear right? I hoped I did
Three pairs of twinkling eyes
held promise of more friendly nights
on which to fantasize
I had to start composing,
get my lazy arse in gear
Then my reward would surely be
a Musey dream-filled year
"You're on!" I squeaked excitedly
and squeezed my hand in Chris's
as three chaste kisses were bestowed
I surely knew what bliss is
The cat was dropped upon my lap
I sniffed, they turned to leave
But what was Dom so secretively
stuffing up his sleeve?
Then morning hit me suddenly awake
I rolled from bed
Mad keen to capture fresh
the pictures sparkling in my head
I grabbed my clothes then stopped quite dead
We stared, the cat and me
at the radiator space where
my best knickers used to be
Snoozing cosy in my bed
A vivid dream came creeping
It seemed that I sat up, awake
Though I was really sleeping
And there he was, as large as life
The Bellamy was standing
right next to me, and Chris and Dom
were lurking on the landing
At last! About time too, my chance
to play the Muse nymphette!
But Matt just gazed at me and sighed
"We're really quite upset"
"You're wha...?" was all my lips could form
While naughty Dom stood spying
my motley undies, draped upon
the radiator, drying
Oh shit! That's just my luck
to get a wash-day Musey visit
To have them faced with soggy smalls
It's not too clever, is it?
But Matt's eyes drew me back
He spoke and shocked me to the core
"You never write us poems,
don't you love us any more?"
His puzzled face tore holes in me
I knew I was to blame
And Chris came frowning round the door
So doubling the shame
"You see...it's been a busy year..."
The guilt weighed like a ton
It had indeed been twelve whole months
since Musey rhymes I'd spun
It sounded lame and useless
I'd been terribly remiss
So in reply the lads grouped close
and stared at me like this
"You think you've had a hectic time?"
Said Matt, accusingly
"Just look at all the things WE'VE done
since your last poetry
"We had an album out, we went on tour,
we went on telly
Chris gave up booze, how else d'you think
he got rid of that belly?
"The gigs we played were epic
we all know you came to bop
You were down the front at Liverpool
and nearly lost your top"
(This last caused Dom to giggle
as he poked amongst my washing
And Chris let out a snigger
he'd completely failed at squashing)
"I wore a massive load of brilliant gear
so cool and trendy
And pulled a bunch of sexy shapes
to prove I'm hot and bendy
"Helsinki Jam and Dom's new kit
The towers in the air
We all dressed up for Halloween
Remember? You were there!
"The twitpics posted night and day
from every fab location
We posed, you smirked, but nothing worked
for your imagination
"Not even Dom with all those babes
awash in the jacuzzi
It took four hours to get him out
he's such a shameless floozy"
A muffled "heh!" from Dom was heard
while Chris cooed "come to Daddy"
picked up and stroked the passing cat
just like a James Bond baddie
While I still sat there, wishing
I was there in Puss's place
Matt had produced a big long list
to wave before my face
"Ahem" he cleared his throat
and raised an eyebrow mockingly
"just listen, here's a lot more things
ignored so shockingly"
He squinted at the paper
and in tones severe and clipped
he read aloud the contents
scrawled there in his spidery script
"Unite Eurasia treasure trail
Bellamy wins Sexiest Male *cough*
Uprising spoofed Doctor Who
Teignmouth Seaside Rendezvous
VMA's and U2 slot
Twilight! Did we lose the plot?
Emu fringes, granny coat
MK Ultra! Scream and gloat!
Albert Hall for charity
Off abroad for touring spree
Dead Cuts, Sunburn on parade
B & H we proudly played
Not to mention we came through
with I Can't Take my Eyes off You
Dom's green cartoon alien suit
Movember Chris made stacks of loot
Got festooned with orange wires
while filming Undisclosed Desires
Off to Kiwi Land and Oz
Which we all adored, because
loads of time off in the sun
soothed our stress and oozed with fun
So onstage we could attack
at full throttle Back in Black
Tight teal trousers, tartan shorts
Complete unknowns in news reports
Won a bet with Lily A
when tennis scores turned out my way
Singapore and then Hong Kong
US tour before too long
Stadium dates and Glasto show
Awards piled up like drifts of snow
Chris became a proud new Dad,
I even tongued my Kaoss pad
So just what to we have to do
To light poetic flames in you?"
I must admit, my mind did stray
into the realms of smut
But Dom just eyed my ageing bras
and gave a sorry "tut"
And so, chastised, I hoped
that I could melt right through the floor
But Chris loomed close and took my hand
into his manly paw
He smiled at me, his big brown eyes
as warm as melted choc
And fired with vast encouragement
My heartbeat ran amok
"You're right! I really can't believe
I let you down this way
and made you doubt how much I care
I'm bad and I must pay!"
This must have struck a chord in Dom
So quick did he appear
And full of filthy, mad ideas
to whisper in my ear
"Ahh..maybe some day soon..."
(the man is truly such a perve)
"But now I'll get straight back and write
the rhymes you so deserve
"I'll start first thing tomorrow
and not skive a moment more
I'll never test your faith again
Trust me - you can be sure"
Matt nodded like a solemn owl
then grinned in wicked style
"Of course, we always knew you were
a total Muse-o-phile
"But just to pep you up a bit
We wanted to drop by
And come back soon - there's some
of Dom's ideas I'd like to try"
Did I hear right? I hoped I did
Three pairs of twinkling eyes
held promise of more friendly nights
on which to fantasize
I had to start composing,
get my lazy arse in gear
Then my reward would surely be
a Musey dream-filled year
"You're on!" I squeaked excitedly
and squeezed my hand in Chris's
as three chaste kisses were bestowed
I surely knew what bliss is
The cat was dropped upon my lap
I sniffed, they turned to leave
But what was Dom so secretively
stuffing up his sleeve?
Then morning hit me suddenly awake
I rolled from bed
Mad keen to capture fresh
the pictures sparkling in my head
I grabbed my clothes then stopped quite dead
We stared, the cat and me
at the radiator space where
my best knickers used to be