Possible review post for Booking.com
I guess you could say the motel we got was less than advertised.
Review: As advertised, the first thing you see as you enter the motel is a sumptuous black leather couch, big screen tv, mini fridge, coffee pot and microwave. You failed to mention that these, along with a large and varied display of condoms, lubes and hot-pockets, were behind bullet proof glass. Ah. Managers quarters. The outside of the establishment has been carefully tailored to mimic early '70's trailer park; each small plot of dust and rocks sporting is own unique chicken wire fence or garden gnome.
All of this clues us in to what to expect in our actual room. There are two lamps attached to the walls and two high school era fluorescent tubes hung from the ceiling. One of each is missing a bulb. Every light, phone cord and electrical appliance is given an extension cord so they may be plugged into outlets in the ceiling, creating a visual "modern rainforest" of browns and oranges. . Apparently, this was easier than making the wall extensions work? You obviously saw no need for other decorations. There are no blinds on the window and we discovered that the curtains were too small, both length and width wise, allowing a large L of sunshine to wake us at dawn. This was fine as there was no alarm clock provided.
Every sheet, pillowcase, blanket and towel had at least one visible cigarette burn in it. This is unusual in a nonsmoking room. The closet has no door, no shelf, no bar and no hangers. The closet is quite literally a hole in the wall. The bathroom, however, is large with a thick exterior door, sound proof walls, large faux marble tiles (except for the floor tiles which were rescued from the YMCA a few decades ago) and a five foot by seven foot mirror. There is also a large storm drain in the center of the room, perfect for more nefarious reasons than my current family vacation.
In short, the facility was not what I had in mind for my daughter and I. However, the bed was large and comfortable, the hourly rates quite reasonable and the buy two get one free hot pocket and condom offer not to be missed. I will definitely pass this on to my "Daddy" and the rest of the girls on the corner.
Sincerely,
Candy Zippers
Room 7