(no subject)
Matt (Caustic) posted something today that we all have to face in our lives and he couldn't of worded it better.
"Sister Helen Prejean (the real-life version of the nun that the film Dead Man Walking was based on) said something that resonated with me a lot when I read it and still does to this day. I'm paraphrasing here, but she said that no man should be judged solely on their worst day. While she was referring mostly to the death penalty, I took it with a broader meaning.
Everyone goes through bad shit. It's what happens, but your true friends are those who will stick by you through it because they know you aren't that day, that incident, or that period of your life. It's just A Bad Time for you. Everyone makes crappy choices, whether it be going for the wrong type of relationships, jobs, or falling back on crutches (be it booze, drugs, sex, or religion) to help you through shitty times. If anyone out there can say they haven't then I'll be happy to call them a liar. Some are more extreme than others, but the point is sometimes people need help and support, and even if you don't want to deal with it, even if you're busy or having trouble of your own, be there when you can.
It's easier to say "never regret" when it's not your own actions that you're talking about. It's easier to get forgiveness through god/God/"god" than give it to yourself. It's even easier to just wall yourself up and stay on the steady tracks of self-destruction than realize you need to make a change sometimes and derail yourself.
It's also easy as hell to judge someone when you haven't had to stare into the sun like they did.
Easy is bullshit sometimes, though.
I think back to what Sister Prejean said and when people ask why I'm sticking by certain people when many out there can easily condemn them. That's why I stuck by (and continue to stick by) my pal Karloz. That's why I try to stick by any of my friends going through shit with alcoholism or drug abuse. That's why I stick by friends who went off the deep end due to mega-fucked up relationships.
Sure, I judge just as much as anyone, maybe even more (I'm a dick like that), but when push comes to shove I also know that as pissed as I get at someone for being an idiot at their weakest times and dumbest choices I know I'll always try and come back to them too. People did that for me in my past, and it meant the world to me.
I've been lucky in that I feel I know that my friends (and many of my acquaintances) are good people. Nobody's good all the time necessarily, but I don't even want to recount the shit in my past that's not exactly flattering either, so it's a balancing act that we all go through. But I really feel they all have, for lack of a better term, a good heart. And that heart's still there even if they're in the worst spots of their life when they're gnawing at their paw to get out of whatever's trapped them. That heart's still there even if they're in withdrawal or fighting any of the million different demons that are out there. That heart's still there after all the shit they have to account, apologize, and get forgiveness for. But it's still there, and you as a friend need to be there to remind them of that.
It's easy to write someone off who hasn't made the best decisions. It's better to judge them for what they actually are and try and help them become what they want to be."
"Sister Helen Prejean (the real-life version of the nun that the film Dead Man Walking was based on) said something that resonated with me a lot when I read it and still does to this day. I'm paraphrasing here, but she said that no man should be judged solely on their worst day. While she was referring mostly to the death penalty, I took it with a broader meaning.
Everyone goes through bad shit. It's what happens, but your true friends are those who will stick by you through it because they know you aren't that day, that incident, or that period of your life. It's just A Bad Time for you. Everyone makes crappy choices, whether it be going for the wrong type of relationships, jobs, or falling back on crutches (be it booze, drugs, sex, or religion) to help you through shitty times. If anyone out there can say they haven't then I'll be happy to call them a liar. Some are more extreme than others, but the point is sometimes people need help and support, and even if you don't want to deal with it, even if you're busy or having trouble of your own, be there when you can.
It's easier to say "never regret" when it's not your own actions that you're talking about. It's easier to get forgiveness through god/God/"god" than give it to yourself. It's even easier to just wall yourself up and stay on the steady tracks of self-destruction than realize you need to make a change sometimes and derail yourself.
It's also easy as hell to judge someone when you haven't had to stare into the sun like they did.
Easy is bullshit sometimes, though.
I think back to what Sister Prejean said and when people ask why I'm sticking by certain people when many out there can easily condemn them. That's why I stuck by (and continue to stick by) my pal Karloz. That's why I try to stick by any of my friends going through shit with alcoholism or drug abuse. That's why I stick by friends who went off the deep end due to mega-fucked up relationships.
Sure, I judge just as much as anyone, maybe even more (I'm a dick like that), but when push comes to shove I also know that as pissed as I get at someone for being an idiot at their weakest times and dumbest choices I know I'll always try and come back to them too. People did that for me in my past, and it meant the world to me.
I've been lucky in that I feel I know that my friends (and many of my acquaintances) are good people. Nobody's good all the time necessarily, but I don't even want to recount the shit in my past that's not exactly flattering either, so it's a balancing act that we all go through. But I really feel they all have, for lack of a better term, a good heart. And that heart's still there even if they're in the worst spots of their life when they're gnawing at their paw to get out of whatever's trapped them. That heart's still there even if they're in withdrawal or fighting any of the million different demons that are out there. That heart's still there after all the shit they have to account, apologize, and get forgiveness for. But it's still there, and you as a friend need to be there to remind them of that.
It's easy to write someone off who hasn't made the best decisions. It's better to judge them for what they actually are and try and help them become what they want to be."