UPDATES 10052012
i'll start off with the most significant development in my life for the past few weeks: i quit my job.
---
making the decision itself was probably harder than coming to the realization that i CAN'T spend another month in my current employment.
i've known for a while that the best thing that i was ever going to get from my job was probably having my office beside robinson's galleria - which is full of delicious and varied foodstuffs to act as a balm for my unhappiness over boring, unfulfilling, mechanical work that won't teach me anything i want to know or that will help me achieve my professional goals (meaning, basically, that i was depression-and-stress eating, to the point where i've gained 25 pounds [FUCK, just, FUCK THIS SHIT >:( ]; also due to the stress, sleep deprivation, and depression, i now have a higher-than-normal blood pressure, when before my BP was completely normal despite my weight), and is located in an extremely accessible and convenient location (so long as i make use of the UV express vans).
just for sheer convenience, it was the ideal job; the work is so easy that i tend to finish it ahead of schedule, even considering that i'm absent once or twice a week, and have never done beyond-office-hours overtime (though i did spend two saturdays at work - but that was because i was helping an officemate finish his share of the work [and i have to say, this officemate is one of the absolute WORST co-workers i have ever had the misfortune to have worked with - even when we were still students back at the university {we were groupmates - for one time only, fortunately}. playing facebook games for hours at a time, during office hours {even logging in a couple of hours' worth of "overtime", the fucker}, surfing the net for absolute garbage most times - i am incredibly surprised he's kept his ass from being fired for this long.]), plus break-time is an absolute pleasure because of galleria, and most importantly, because travel is incredible easy because of the UV express service, if not a bit long - 1.5 to 2 hours at the very least.
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i just snapped about three weeks ago. i hate my job; this officemate is annoying as hell, ugly as satan's asshole, and lazy as a tree stump; and, probably most significant of all, i'm not learning anything - which is kind of the point of being an apprentice. you can't expect to get paid much beyond the minimum wage (actually i have never had a job, as an apprentice, that paid more than the minimum wage), and you can't expect your ideas to be respected - but you AT LEAST have the RIGHT to LEARN, because what are all the sacrifices for?
i wrote my resignation letter that night. i consulted everybody that i trusted could give me good advice. i was READY to quit the following morning, even though i didn't have anywhere else to go to, and even though i was potentially destroying my chances of taking the board at the soonest possible time (june), thus delaying the start of my career even further, possibly dooming me to another year of stagnation and further depression.
---
of course reason eventually prevailed. i didn't quit the next day, though i did look for architectural firms who needed apprentices. i was only able to find one that suited my interests, and of course my standards for a boss (no way was i working for a non-UP-graduate; i at least owe myself that), so i emailed my CV to them. surprisingly, i received a reply the next day, asking me when i would like to have an interview! that lifted my spirits. it lifted even more when i saw the place, and the people i was potentially going to work with, and the bosses, who were fun and very experienced, and of course the work, which was design-build - the very field/line of architecture that i have been planning to have a career in since highschool.
after the interview was a nerve-wracking two weeks of waiting. i wanted that job badly, and not just because i wanted to get out of my current job so desperately. i really feel like it can teach me everything i have to learn to build the career i have always wanted to have. i hope i chose wisely - i was accepted.
---
the day after i got confirmation that i had a job to go to, i submitted my resignation to my bosses, who were at UP at that time (actually they spends the vast, VAST majority of their time there; an elderly, kindly, and very respectable couple, sir and ma'am espina are the AVP of planning of the UP system, and the dean of the college of architecture, respectively. which was one of my main problems, really. how could i learn from them if they weren't even at the office? they don't have the time to explain anything, because they're so busy - and i completely understand and respect what they're doing for the future generations of architects. but for my sake, i have to go [selfish, i know]). i said to them how truly thankful i was for their guidance, and how i appreciated the opportunity they gave me. i really felt like i owed so much to them, because they were my professors; ma'am was my advisor for four of the six years i spent in the college, and sir was the professor i learned from the most. i didn't tell them the whole truth, nor any of the factors that led me to resign; some things are better left unsaid.
---
i starting work at maginhawa street this october 5! :)
PS:
one other thing.
i could count several times when i went out of my way to help someone who really needed help. the girl at UP who sprained her ankle on the street between AS and CASAA. several children over the years who were lost in some mall or palengke. a man who was hit by a car.
last friday, as i was on my way to maginhawa from ortigas to discuss with my future employers some details regarding my employment, i had a bit of an accident. i was alighting from a jeepney in anonas, very near the LRT-2 station, when the driver sped away before i was completely out of his vehicle (actually i was still INSIDE the jeep, though very near the rear exit already). the force acted on me because of the sudden acceleration of the jeepney caused me to be thrown out violently, and i landed on the hard concrete with a loud thud. good thing the FX behind the jeepney was going on a relatively low speed, and he just was able to avoid me as i sprawled helplessly on the street.
i held my right leg and foot in pain. when i looked at my thigh afterwards, i had a nasty gash and it had a disturbingly violet and black color. my foot still hurts as i'm writing this. i cursed at the jeepney with all my breath, with all the filthiest curse-words i knew, but it was already very far away.
without a doubt, the most painful thing about that experience was how the people who crowded around me just laughed at me instead of helping me. then, it dawned on me: are these the kind of people that filipinos have regressed to? maybe this country isn't worth the time we give it after all. in my anger i cursed them too, as hard as i did at the speeding jeepney. i nearly came to blows with one of them as well.
i would have helped me; is this the kind of karma i get for being the person that i am? maybe this is life's way of saying that i need to start living my days as a better person. or maybe i was just at the wrong place, at the wrong time, around the wrong people.
---
making the decision itself was probably harder than coming to the realization that i CAN'T spend another month in my current employment.
i've known for a while that the best thing that i was ever going to get from my job was probably having my office beside robinson's galleria - which is full of delicious and varied foodstuffs to act as a balm for my unhappiness over boring, unfulfilling, mechanical work that won't teach me anything i want to know or that will help me achieve my professional goals (meaning, basically, that i was depression-and-stress eating, to the point where i've gained 25 pounds [FUCK, just, FUCK THIS SHIT >:( ]; also due to the stress, sleep deprivation, and depression, i now have a higher-than-normal blood pressure, when before my BP was completely normal despite my weight), and is located in an extremely accessible and convenient location (so long as i make use of the UV express vans).
just for sheer convenience, it was the ideal job; the work is so easy that i tend to finish it ahead of schedule, even considering that i'm absent once or twice a week, and have never done beyond-office-hours overtime (though i did spend two saturdays at work - but that was because i was helping an officemate finish his share of the work [and i have to say, this officemate is one of the absolute WORST co-workers i have ever had the misfortune to have worked with - even when we were still students back at the university {we were groupmates - for one time only, fortunately}. playing facebook games for hours at a time, during office hours {even logging in a couple of hours' worth of "overtime", the fucker}, surfing the net for absolute garbage most times - i am incredibly surprised he's kept his ass from being fired for this long.]), plus break-time is an absolute pleasure because of galleria, and most importantly, because travel is incredible easy because of the UV express service, if not a bit long - 1.5 to 2 hours at the very least.
---
i just snapped about three weeks ago. i hate my job; this officemate is annoying as hell, ugly as satan's asshole, and lazy as a tree stump; and, probably most significant of all, i'm not learning anything - which is kind of the point of being an apprentice. you can't expect to get paid much beyond the minimum wage (actually i have never had a job, as an apprentice, that paid more than the minimum wage), and you can't expect your ideas to be respected - but you AT LEAST have the RIGHT to LEARN, because what are all the sacrifices for?
i wrote my resignation letter that night. i consulted everybody that i trusted could give me good advice. i was READY to quit the following morning, even though i didn't have anywhere else to go to, and even though i was potentially destroying my chances of taking the board at the soonest possible time (june), thus delaying the start of my career even further, possibly dooming me to another year of stagnation and further depression.
---
of course reason eventually prevailed. i didn't quit the next day, though i did look for architectural firms who needed apprentices. i was only able to find one that suited my interests, and of course my standards for a boss (no way was i working for a non-UP-graduate; i at least owe myself that), so i emailed my CV to them. surprisingly, i received a reply the next day, asking me when i would like to have an interview! that lifted my spirits. it lifted even more when i saw the place, and the people i was potentially going to work with, and the bosses, who were fun and very experienced, and of course the work, which was design-build - the very field/line of architecture that i have been planning to have a career in since highschool.
after the interview was a nerve-wracking two weeks of waiting. i wanted that job badly, and not just because i wanted to get out of my current job so desperately. i really feel like it can teach me everything i have to learn to build the career i have always wanted to have. i hope i chose wisely - i was accepted.
---
the day after i got confirmation that i had a job to go to, i submitted my resignation to my bosses, who were at UP at that time (actually they spends the vast, VAST majority of their time there; an elderly, kindly, and very respectable couple, sir and ma'am espina are the AVP of planning of the UP system, and the dean of the college of architecture, respectively. which was one of my main problems, really. how could i learn from them if they weren't even at the office? they don't have the time to explain anything, because they're so busy - and i completely understand and respect what they're doing for the future generations of architects. but for my sake, i have to go [selfish, i know]). i said to them how truly thankful i was for their guidance, and how i appreciated the opportunity they gave me. i really felt like i owed so much to them, because they were my professors; ma'am was my advisor for four of the six years i spent in the college, and sir was the professor i learned from the most. i didn't tell them the whole truth, nor any of the factors that led me to resign; some things are better left unsaid.
---
i starting work at maginhawa street this october 5! :)
PS:
one other thing.
i could count several times when i went out of my way to help someone who really needed help. the girl at UP who sprained her ankle on the street between AS and CASAA. several children over the years who were lost in some mall or palengke. a man who was hit by a car.
last friday, as i was on my way to maginhawa from ortigas to discuss with my future employers some details regarding my employment, i had a bit of an accident. i was alighting from a jeepney in anonas, very near the LRT-2 station, when the driver sped away before i was completely out of his vehicle (actually i was still INSIDE the jeep, though very near the rear exit already). the force acted on me because of the sudden acceleration of the jeepney caused me to be thrown out violently, and i landed on the hard concrete with a loud thud. good thing the FX behind the jeepney was going on a relatively low speed, and he just was able to avoid me as i sprawled helplessly on the street.
i held my right leg and foot in pain. when i looked at my thigh afterwards, i had a nasty gash and it had a disturbingly violet and black color. my foot still hurts as i'm writing this. i cursed at the jeepney with all my breath, with all the filthiest curse-words i knew, but it was already very far away.
without a doubt, the most painful thing about that experience was how the people who crowded around me just laughed at me instead of helping me. then, it dawned on me: are these the kind of people that filipinos have regressed to? maybe this country isn't worth the time we give it after all. in my anger i cursed them too, as hard as i did at the speeding jeepney. i nearly came to blows with one of them as well.
i would have helped me; is this the kind of karma i get for being the person that i am? maybe this is life's way of saying that i need to start living my days as a better person. or maybe i was just at the wrong place, at the wrong time, around the wrong people.