Silencing Brand New Screams
So I'm sitting at the law office, and I don't even know if I can sit and type what's going on because I'm at work and I can't cry here.
Wudi broke up with me today. When I called him at noon. On my lunch break. Over the phone. Why the FUCK he didn't just not answer the phone and wait to tell me til I was off work, at least-- maybe even in person??--- I don't know. I don't know I don't know I don't know.
So basically I guess it's because he's not himself and he has to, I don't know, find himself or something because he's been an ass for a month. I don't know. All I know is that I called him at noon to say hi, got dumped, and had to come back to work. To find out that the lawyer I work for, his paralegal had a family member pass away just now, and so I need to be here the rest of today and tomorrow, and I have to pretend like everything's okay, when in fact I was dumped an hour and a half ago and I spent my entire lunch break in the breakroom at Bob Evans crying.
And Wudi, if you're reading this, I'm sorry if what I'm saying isn't exactly nice. But this... THIS is the most asshole thing you've ever, ever done. On the phone?!?! We've been together over two years, you said you wanted to marry me, and you did it on the fucking phone on my fucking lunch break?!?! So forgive me if I want to vent in my journal. Read it if you want, I can't stop you, but it's not recommended.
Because the truth of the matter is, Wudi has been an ass for a month. He's not happy. This probably is best, because his happiness really is most important. But the truth of the matter is, I'm in love with him and I don't know how to turn it off until he "gets his head on straight." What if he never does? What if this is permanent and I'm the only one that doesn't know it? What am I supposed to do? Wait? Not wait? I don't know. I have to stop talking like this or I'll cry. All the girls at Bob Evans were like "What an asshole, he's not worth it, you're pretty and smart and nice, you'll be fine." When Katie said that, I looked at her, and I said, "But that's the problem. He's the only one I've ever met that is worth it."
The lawyers just got back from lunch. I have to go.
Oh... the good news from yesterday was that my best friend Josh that lives in Texas, that I haven't seen in 3 and a half years, is in town. I got to hang out with him last night and he's still asleep at my house right now. Thank god, because if all this was at once without a single lining... well, I don't know.
Wudi broke up with me today. When I called him at noon. On my lunch break. Over the phone. Why the FUCK he didn't just not answer the phone and wait to tell me til I was off work, at least-- maybe even in person??--- I don't know. I don't know I don't know I don't know.
So basically I guess it's because he's not himself and he has to, I don't know, find himself or something because he's been an ass for a month. I don't know. All I know is that I called him at noon to say hi, got dumped, and had to come back to work. To find out that the lawyer I work for, his paralegal had a family member pass away just now, and so I need to be here the rest of today and tomorrow, and I have to pretend like everything's okay, when in fact I was dumped an hour and a half ago and I spent my entire lunch break in the breakroom at Bob Evans crying.
And Wudi, if you're reading this, I'm sorry if what I'm saying isn't exactly nice. But this... THIS is the most asshole thing you've ever, ever done. On the phone?!?! We've been together over two years, you said you wanted to marry me, and you did it on the fucking phone on my fucking lunch break?!?! So forgive me if I want to vent in my journal. Read it if you want, I can't stop you, but it's not recommended.
Because the truth of the matter is, Wudi has been an ass for a month. He's not happy. This probably is best, because his happiness really is most important. But the truth of the matter is, I'm in love with him and I don't know how to turn it off until he "gets his head on straight." What if he never does? What if this is permanent and I'm the only one that doesn't know it? What am I supposed to do? Wait? Not wait? I don't know. I have to stop talking like this or I'll cry. All the girls at Bob Evans were like "What an asshole, he's not worth it, you're pretty and smart and nice, you'll be fine." When Katie said that, I looked at her, and I said, "But that's the problem. He's the only one I've ever met that is worth it."
The lawyers just got back from lunch. I have to go.
Oh... the good news from yesterday was that my best friend Josh that lives in Texas, that I haven't seen in 3 and a half years, is in town. I got to hang out with him last night and he's still asleep at my house right now. Thank god, because if all this was at once without a single lining... well, I don't know.