@%$# you computer!
i wrote 2 yes 2 fuckin entries, both raw as fuck, and they were both erased, BOTH BOTH BOTH BOTH BOTH BOTH BOTH, im pist, ok, 3rd try, i just wasted like 4 hours, holy shit. OMG hmmmmmmmmmm
DAMN, i wrote SO much meaningful stuff!! UGHHH UGH UGH , i wanna break this stupid ass computer! Urgh, anyway. Hmm
let me try to start over as if i never wrote that last enrty so then everyone hets glimps of what i wrote before twice,...hmm, yesterday (since its that late/ early) was valentines day, yeah, one of the few where i had actually a person to consider. the few, the only other being 8th grade, yeah, Katie brown, single rose, lost cause, continuuum waitong to happen right there yeah, well, i kinda learned not to buy roses/flowers, rather make stuff, it means more, it might not seem like it, but to me it means more, so yeah. Its weird how in a room filled with people(well not filled but..) it can seem like there is no one in it but you and the person you are looking at. you know they are there, but i dont care SO much, that i dont even notice them there. I see you and i forget where i am, and what im doing the moment i see your smile. ANd this was the part you knew was gonna happen. And the part where you were gonna try to unconfuse everything in yourhead. This is the part where you continue the cycle, and make everything normal for me, and harder for you, cuz either way, its gonna be hard. "Man it takes a simple girl to lie about the dream she has, lord it takes a lonely one to wish that she had never dreamt at all" Carve your heart out yourself by Dashbaord confessional,yes,one of the best artists in the world, and the world will ever see. "the climb can kill you long before the fall" several ways to die trying by Dashboard. yeah, its weird how i put myself in a dangerous position, where i can KNOW im gonna get hurt, only to be passive, to delay the actual hurt process, when it begun the second i knew what was happeneing. which was longer than you think. This is the part where i try to pretend that everything is ok, when in reality nothing is ok, nor will it ever be, not becuz of one thing, but in general. Hope, is the only reason people live, without hope, there is nothing to aim for, nothing to strive for, nothing to wish for. My hopes get so high without me being conscience of it, and i am bold enough as to put myself on the line and brace myslef for what impact i know not of. Its horrible to notice that everythihng i've had any to littl ehope in has showed no hope in me. I notice that my hope gets me no where. My hopes are keeping me alive, but they are killing me. They leave me less to strive for, less to reach for, since i;ve never reached anything of value. Good thing it wasnt your, but mine, cuz it would have killed me(refer to Hands down) yeah, i can fail before i even try. yep, thats me. I think thats where bend. This is where the CD i made you comes back into play, listen, and this time, dont believe that the songs are the ones i like, rather ones i want you to listen to for a reason. Listen, to the message, and let the music flow with it. This is the part where i tried, but failed in my head and failed in person, the placebo affect. Yet i went against it, maybe seeking that slight control over fate. But, i guess it was inevitable, and it didnt quite go the way i imagined, although i never imagined what could have happened, it was more, the fear of anything happening, good or bad. wel, i guess its going where it shall, and being the pessimist i am, my thoughts arent too bright. Smile EMO boy your shades are showing. "dont complicate it be hesitating" oh so true. i should go to sleep, it like 3:45, when i should have gone to sleep like 4 hours ago, when i got home, and figured out nothing, although i wish i had. And this is the part where everything was supposed to clear up and conclude or begin, but as for an answer, i wait for the inevitable skatebaord affect. Thus, keeping my hopes low will make my fall easier. Although for me low is of no existence. i have to get up in like 4 hours so, i best be going...
*This is where i say "everything is gonna be ok"*
**If hearts were unbreakable, i would be happy forever and ever and ever and ever**
***but then...there would be no more emo sentences and rolling metaphors***
****Dont bust a Katie Brown****
♥Marcos♥
DAMN, i wrote SO much meaningful stuff!! UGHHH UGH UGH , i wanna break this stupid ass computer! Urgh, anyway. Hmm
let me try to start over as if i never wrote that last enrty so then everyone hets glimps of what i wrote before twice,...hmm, yesterday (since its that late/ early) was valentines day, yeah, one of the few where i had actually a person to consider. the few, the only other being 8th grade, yeah, Katie brown, single rose, lost cause, continuuum waitong to happen right there yeah, well, i kinda learned not to buy roses/flowers, rather make stuff, it means more, it might not seem like it, but to me it means more, so yeah. Its weird how in a room filled with people(well not filled but..) it can seem like there is no one in it but you and the person you are looking at. you know they are there, but i dont care SO much, that i dont even notice them there. I see you and i forget where i am, and what im doing the moment i see your smile. ANd this was the part you knew was gonna happen. And the part where you were gonna try to unconfuse everything in yourhead. This is the part where you continue the cycle, and make everything normal for me, and harder for you, cuz either way, its gonna be hard. "Man it takes a simple girl to lie about the dream she has, lord it takes a lonely one to wish that she had never dreamt at all" Carve your heart out yourself by Dashbaord confessional,yes,one of the best artists in the world, and the world will ever see. "the climb can kill you long before the fall" several ways to die trying by Dashboard. yeah, its weird how i put myself in a dangerous position, where i can KNOW im gonna get hurt, only to be passive, to delay the actual hurt process, when it begun the second i knew what was happeneing. which was longer than you think. This is the part where i try to pretend that everything is ok, when in reality nothing is ok, nor will it ever be, not becuz of one thing, but in general. Hope, is the only reason people live, without hope, there is nothing to aim for, nothing to strive for, nothing to wish for. My hopes get so high without me being conscience of it, and i am bold enough as to put myself on the line and brace myslef for what impact i know not of. Its horrible to notice that everythihng i've had any to littl ehope in has showed no hope in me. I notice that my hope gets me no where. My hopes are keeping me alive, but they are killing me. They leave me less to strive for, less to reach for, since i;ve never reached anything of value. Good thing it wasnt your, but mine, cuz it would have killed me(refer to Hands down) yeah, i can fail before i even try. yep, thats me. I think thats where bend. This is where the CD i made you comes back into play, listen, and this time, dont believe that the songs are the ones i like, rather ones i want you to listen to for a reason. Listen, to the message, and let the music flow with it. This is the part where i tried, but failed in my head and failed in person, the placebo affect. Yet i went against it, maybe seeking that slight control over fate. But, i guess it was inevitable, and it didnt quite go the way i imagined, although i never imagined what could have happened, it was more, the fear of anything happening, good or bad. wel, i guess its going where it shall, and being the pessimist i am, my thoughts arent too bright. Smile EMO boy your shades are showing. "dont complicate it be hesitating" oh so true. i should go to sleep, it like 3:45, when i should have gone to sleep like 4 hours ago, when i got home, and figured out nothing, although i wish i had. And this is the part where everything was supposed to clear up and conclude or begin, but as for an answer, i wait for the inevitable skatebaord affect. Thus, keeping my hopes low will make my fall easier. Although for me low is of no existence. i have to get up in like 4 hours so, i best be going...
*This is where i say "everything is gonna be ok"*
**If hearts were unbreakable, i would be happy forever and ever and ever and ever**
***but then...there would be no more emo sentences and rolling metaphors***
****Dont bust a Katie Brown****
♥Marcos♥