Ugh
So at dance class there was an incident last week -- normally someone turns round, partner drags the hand across the back and catches the other hand. I got turned the other way around and a hand dragged across the front. In what is referred to as "the slap zone". I spoke to one of the women leaders, who dragged in the man leader, who kept trying to tell me that 1) in dancing sometimes the partner is not where you expect and whoopsadaisy, accidental touching where it shouldn't be, and that's just life 2) they'd never had any complaints about this guy before (he's also team) and 3) to give him the benefit of the doubt.
Last night I spoke to guy concerned, the other two got dragged in, it did not go well. I ended up saying, bluntly, "either it happened on purpose, or it happened by accident, or I'm lying, those are the only options". And guy eventually said "if it happened by accident then I'm sorry", and I said, then let's put a line under it.
But here's the thing that I didn't end up saying yesterday... With one hand on my shoulder blade and the other holding mine up in the air somewhere, using the hand in the air to lead a turn (as in, to deliberately lead it, on purpose, as all the moves are deliberately led) to turn me anticlockwise so the hand on my left shoulder went across my body... that's not really accidental is it? How could it be?
It could maybe be unconscious, not thinking about it... It was so fast that I had to ask myself what just happened and why I was getting signals from body and then rewind and do the replay in my mind, so I completely get that it could have happened without conscious thought. But... that's not the same as point 1, is it? (And obviously with 2, that doesn't mean it didn't happen, and I did say that.) I do get point 1, it happens, and this wasn't it, although I think the "official version" that all the team will agree on is that that is what happened and I'm a naive idiot who doesn't know anything about dancing, and am also now known as a trouble maker.
But I didn't say that last night. I just said the three options thing. And I said, let's put a line under it. So I can't go back on that.
Which is why I'm writing about it. Leaving my testimony to the actual truth to be discovered and understood by whoever reads this, and for myself, so that my own perspective of what happened to me will not be erased. It's all I can do, I think.
Last night I spoke to guy concerned, the other two got dragged in, it did not go well. I ended up saying, bluntly, "either it happened on purpose, or it happened by accident, or I'm lying, those are the only options". And guy eventually said "if it happened by accident then I'm sorry", and I said, then let's put a line under it.
But here's the thing that I didn't end up saying yesterday... With one hand on my shoulder blade and the other holding mine up in the air somewhere, using the hand in the air to lead a turn (as in, to deliberately lead it, on purpose, as all the moves are deliberately led) to turn me anticlockwise so the hand on my left shoulder went across my body... that's not really accidental is it? How could it be?
It could maybe be unconscious, not thinking about it... It was so fast that I had to ask myself what just happened and why I was getting signals from body and then rewind and do the replay in my mind, so I completely get that it could have happened without conscious thought. But... that's not the same as point 1, is it? (And obviously with 2, that doesn't mean it didn't happen, and I did say that.) I do get point 1, it happens, and this wasn't it, although I think the "official version" that all the team will agree on is that that is what happened and I'm a naive idiot who doesn't know anything about dancing, and am also now known as a trouble maker.
But I didn't say that last night. I just said the three options thing. And I said, let's put a line under it. So I can't go back on that.
Which is why I'm writing about it. Leaving my testimony to the actual truth to be discovered and understood by whoever reads this, and for myself, so that my own perspective of what happened to me will not be erased. It's all I can do, I think.