LJI Ex B wk4 - If Wishes Were Horses
A Discussion on Choosing Wedding Music, from a woman who is not married.
please play the video. there are links to other songs in this entry, and they are optional, but please put this one on, even if it's just background music whilst you read my entry.
I have adored this cheesy love song since I was two years old, and still do; it contains what has been voted the most romantic song lyric of all time:
If dreams were wings, you know/
I would have flown to you
(sorry. horses won't get me across the stupid ocean...)
That's why I fell in love with this song when I was a toddler, and although I didn't quite know it at the time, it started a life-long journey of collecting ideas for my perfect some-day wedding. Twenty-five years later, as natural as it would be to name it for the first dance, it actually seems more like the perfect song to walk down the aisle to, instead. It's not too sappy for the start of the wedding, and it has a nice tempo to walk to rather than being too rigid. I also like the idea of playing a full song on a CD, so the orchestra won't stop as soon as the bride is at the head of the aisle. Then, the bride and groom will actually have a chance to say hello to each other, and it will, er, give the bride chance to take the groom's hat off and put it on her own head, for example. If, you know, both he and she are hat-wearers, and she likes to wear a hat in church, or something. Or, y'know, if the bride is a normal person who wears a veil instead of a hat, then she'd have time to take the veil off before the ceremony starts. (In Britain, it is against the law to get married with anything covering one's face, no matter how sheer. This is so that one's intended knows that they are marrying the correct person!)
Then come the hymns, probably only two of them, so there isn't, as my Dad would say, "Too much stand up-sit down-stand up-sit down stuff." If it's the only chance one has to get one's unbelieving relations inside a church, it is important to check and double check the theology of the hymns -- not because you'd expect massive life changes during the wedding apart from of the people getting married, but just in case, if massive life changes did happen to occur at some point, there wouldn't be any bad theology to 'unlearn', or to put them off. Also, you want a nice easy tune that doesn't go off at weird speeds or with unexpected high notes or something (there are more hymns like this than you'd think). Fulfilling both of these criteria, one of my current favourites is, Come, People of the Risen King, and it's happy enough to sing at a wedding, too.
Ideally, the second hymn would be a rousing something that everybody knows. Immortal, Invisible is a common one, but I think it has a weird tune. All Things Bright and Beautifu would be corny with a bride standing right there, and, in my opinion, is more of a Christening/Baptism hymn, as is Morning Has Broken . How Great Thou Art and The Old Rugged Cross go the other way, being more appropriate for a funeral. Be Thou My Vision would be rousing enough if they did the heavy-on-the-drums version, but how well known is it really? Amazing Grace seems to fit the bill, but it's easy to do it badly. It would also be nice to have a soloist, maybe in addition to a second hymn, but church people sometimes have the annoying habit of joining in with any song if they know it, even if it's supposed to be a solo. Not sure how to get around that one without treading on toes.
In fact, that's the difficulty with this whole part of the wedding - making it religious enough to satisfy the religious end of the room, without being so religious that all the heathen rellies go out for a smoke. It's a delicate balancing act to keep everything in proportion, like needing a long enough veil to balance your train. Or, ahem, not having a train, because she's wearing a hat, weren't you listening?!
Then all these guests, both heathen and otherwise, need entertaining whilst the register is signed. My choice for the procession back down the aisle is an instrumental version of Love Changes Everything; can't do a lyrical version of this without having all the single friends crying in the corner, regrettably (and I've totally been there!). We have a rather nice version of it on a CD of panpipes love songs, which was also the version we used in my Mum's wedding, so that would please her and be a nice sentimental touch. It would probably be simpler not to have any music during the signing of the register, for fear of throwing out that balance again, either way, but still, these guests need entertaining. The best I can come up with is have a detachable page in the program and a paper-aeroplane-making competition - maybe instead of a guest book! - and then a hoop over a basket in the far end of the room for their collection. It is one extra thing that needs to be transported from the church to the reception venue, and the best man will probably be busy giving out directions, but hey, what else are ushers for?
At 7pm it's time for the first dance, and contrary to popular convention, I recommend NOT playing some slushy-mushy song as a way of trying to get this party started. Half of your guests will already be taking this as their cue to head for the bar, so you don't want to give your guests an excuse to leave. I've also found that weddings that play a slow, slushy number here tend not to recover so well, and the party for the rest of the evening may feel a bit flat. So far during the day, everyone has participated (when it comes to weddings, watching is participating), and yet the first dance tradition breaks that and makes an exclusive moment only for the couple - once it's gone, I think that atmosphere is very difficult to recover for the rest of the evening, personally. I would also like to note: It's still your first dance as a couple, and a special moment for the two of you, if everyone else is up on the dance floor with you! For this reason, I'd recommend something lovey but upbeat. There are probably more of these than you'd think, and to give just two different examples: I Believe In A Thing Called Love by The Darkness, or I Knew You Were Waiting For Me by Aretha Franklin and George Michael.
The rest of the party is the eternal dispute of most weddings - band, DJ, or both? Controlled set-list or free-for-all? A ceremonial send-off of the bride and groom, with music to match, or have them just slip away whilst the party continues? As my Mum said of her wedding, "As long as it's memorable for all the right reasons and not all the wrong ones, I don't really mind."
There is one other time during a wedding that a couple might want to have a song selection prepared, and the worst you could do is just not use it. I'd recommend putting this on an ipod or similar, unless you have a portable CD player. This is for later in the evening, when it's just the two of you, and can be sickly-sweet or rude-and-raunchy, as you prefer. It's also the ideal time to play that special song you have that's too slow for your first dance. Personally, I'd also recommend taking a few Rumba lessons as well. This is just so you don't end up looking at each other from opposite sides of the hotel room, going, "Well. Who's going to make the first move in this situation, then?"
(If push comes to shove and you're in a tiny hotel room, it is also possible to do a basic rumba standing up on the bed - it doesn't necessarily take up much room compared to some other dances. Until, of course, somebody trips over a pillow and there's a bridal pile-up... *wink*)
Click to viewplease play the video. there are links to other songs in this entry, and they are optional, but please put this one on, even if it's just background music whilst you read my entry.
I have adored this cheesy love song since I was two years old, and still do; it contains what has been voted the most romantic song lyric of all time:
If dreams were wings, you know/
I would have flown to you
(sorry. horses won't get me across the stupid ocean...)
That's why I fell in love with this song when I was a toddler, and although I didn't quite know it at the time, it started a life-long journey of collecting ideas for my perfect some-day wedding. Twenty-five years later, as natural as it would be to name it for the first dance, it actually seems more like the perfect song to walk down the aisle to, instead. It's not too sappy for the start of the wedding, and it has a nice tempo to walk to rather than being too rigid. I also like the idea of playing a full song on a CD, so the orchestra won't stop as soon as the bride is at the head of the aisle. Then, the bride and groom will actually have a chance to say hello to each other, and it will, er, give the bride chance to take the groom's hat off and put it on her own head, for example. If, you know, both he and she are hat-wearers, and she likes to wear a hat in church, or something. Or, y'know, if the bride is a normal person who wears a veil instead of a hat, then she'd have time to take the veil off before the ceremony starts. (In Britain, it is against the law to get married with anything covering one's face, no matter how sheer. This is so that one's intended knows that they are marrying the correct person!)
Then come the hymns, probably only two of them, so there isn't, as my Dad would say, "Too much stand up-sit down-stand up-sit down stuff." If it's the only chance one has to get one's unbelieving relations inside a church, it is important to check and double check the theology of the hymns -- not because you'd expect massive life changes during the wedding apart from of the people getting married, but just in case, if massive life changes did happen to occur at some point, there wouldn't be any bad theology to 'unlearn', or to put them off. Also, you want a nice easy tune that doesn't go off at weird speeds or with unexpected high notes or something (there are more hymns like this than you'd think). Fulfilling both of these criteria, one of my current favourites is, Come, People of the Risen King, and it's happy enough to sing at a wedding, too.
Ideally, the second hymn would be a rousing something that everybody knows. Immortal, Invisible is a common one, but I think it has a weird tune. All Things Bright and Beautifu would be corny with a bride standing right there, and, in my opinion, is more of a Christening/Baptism hymn, as is Morning Has Broken . How Great Thou Art and The Old Rugged Cross go the other way, being more appropriate for a funeral. Be Thou My Vision would be rousing enough if they did the heavy-on-the-drums version, but how well known is it really? Amazing Grace seems to fit the bill, but it's easy to do it badly. It would also be nice to have a soloist, maybe in addition to a second hymn, but church people sometimes have the annoying habit of joining in with any song if they know it, even if it's supposed to be a solo. Not sure how to get around that one without treading on toes.
In fact, that's the difficulty with this whole part of the wedding - making it religious enough to satisfy the religious end of the room, without being so religious that all the heathen rellies go out for a smoke. It's a delicate balancing act to keep everything in proportion, like needing a long enough veil to balance your train. Or, ahem, not having a train, because she's wearing a hat, weren't you listening?!
Then all these guests, both heathen and otherwise, need entertaining whilst the register is signed. My choice for the procession back down the aisle is an instrumental version of Love Changes Everything; can't do a lyrical version of this without having all the single friends crying in the corner, regrettably (and I've totally been there!). We have a rather nice version of it on a CD of panpipes love songs, which was also the version we used in my Mum's wedding, so that would please her and be a nice sentimental touch. It would probably be simpler not to have any music during the signing of the register, for fear of throwing out that balance again, either way, but still, these guests need entertaining. The best I can come up with is have a detachable page in the program and a paper-aeroplane-making competition - maybe instead of a guest book! - and then a hoop over a basket in the far end of the room for their collection. It is one extra thing that needs to be transported from the church to the reception venue, and the best man will probably be busy giving out directions, but hey, what else are ushers for?
At 7pm it's time for the first dance, and contrary to popular convention, I recommend NOT playing some slushy-mushy song as a way of trying to get this party started. Half of your guests will already be taking this as their cue to head for the bar, so you don't want to give your guests an excuse to leave. I've also found that weddings that play a slow, slushy number here tend not to recover so well, and the party for the rest of the evening may feel a bit flat. So far during the day, everyone has participated (when it comes to weddings, watching is participating), and yet the first dance tradition breaks that and makes an exclusive moment only for the couple - once it's gone, I think that atmosphere is very difficult to recover for the rest of the evening, personally. I would also like to note: It's still your first dance as a couple, and a special moment for the two of you, if everyone else is up on the dance floor with you! For this reason, I'd recommend something lovey but upbeat. There are probably more of these than you'd think, and to give just two different examples: I Believe In A Thing Called Love by The Darkness, or I Knew You Were Waiting For Me by Aretha Franklin and George Michael.
The rest of the party is the eternal dispute of most weddings - band, DJ, or both? Controlled set-list or free-for-all? A ceremonial send-off of the bride and groom, with music to match, or have them just slip away whilst the party continues? As my Mum said of her wedding, "As long as it's memorable for all the right reasons and not all the wrong ones, I don't really mind."
There is one other time during a wedding that a couple might want to have a song selection prepared, and the worst you could do is just not use it. I'd recommend putting this on an ipod or similar, unless you have a portable CD player. This is for later in the evening, when it's just the two of you, and can be sickly-sweet or rude-and-raunchy, as you prefer. It's also the ideal time to play that special song you have that's too slow for your first dance. Personally, I'd also recommend taking a few Rumba lessons as well. This is just so you don't end up looking at each other from opposite sides of the hotel room, going, "Well. Who's going to make the first move in this situation, then?"
(If push comes to shove and you're in a tiny hotel room, it is also possible to do a basic rumba standing up on the bed - it doesn't necessarily take up much room compared to some other dances. Until, of course, somebody trips over a pillow and there's a bridal pile-up... *wink*)