LJ Idol - no taboos (from the prompt "preoccupied")
I've been missing my old friend a lot this weekend. On Friday, if a friend had've telephoned me to ask what I was doing, I'd have said, "Lying on the sofa watching tv, wishing I had someone to lie on the sofa and watch tv with." Very true as far as it goes. But I was missing him.
It may be expedient at this point to say, the best way of describing myself in this situation is "I don't fall out of love very easily." I have since come to learn that, for all the blessing and all the curse it is, my capacity to love runs remarkably deeply compared to (some) others.
I always miss this guy when I need to relax/am relaxing.
For all the complicated and all the confused and all the messed-up that was our relationship, one thing we were really really great at was just hanging out together. Just 'being', in the company of each other; just 'being together' too, with our attentions only focused on making each other happy. We were never embarrassed being our real selves in front of each other - there were no taboos.
I've probably got the rose tinted glasses on, but that connection seems the one that's unbreakable.
All the other ties have broken; I'm not under his spell any more, and there really is precious little actual friendship remaining. We'd never ever get along very well during the ordinary course of life. Both our values and our temperaments clash, and whilst I know nobody's perfect, least of all me, if I was being cold and hard I might say that in terms of character, his track record may leave a little to be desired. He can get me riled up and angry at him like noone else can - but he can, I suppose, invoke my soft side and my forgiveness like noone else too.
And like I said, he's a great person to get wrapped up in, and he can make me relax like noone else can do too.
... .
I've gone round and round this merry-go-round more times than I can count.
Being so riled up... being able (for a while, at least) to put the past in the past and move on and feel free. I am talking about years, not about weeks here, afterall. To realise how mis-matched we ever were in the first place, to be able to wish him well in his endeavours but be glad that they're not with me... to know again that there are little real links of residule of genuine friendship between us.... and then to turn around and miss him a whole lot more, once again.
A mind that can't concentrate and is full of these thoughts this weekend, and a heart that, almost 'for better or for worse', will only like him, in a way that, it seems, can't be avoided.
I have been on other dates and stuff, but they just didn't seem to hold a candle to him. Is it going to be this for ever?
It may be expedient at this point to say, the best way of describing myself in this situation is "I don't fall out of love very easily." I have since come to learn that, for all the blessing and all the curse it is, my capacity to love runs remarkably deeply compared to (some) others.
I always miss this guy when I need to relax/am relaxing.
For all the complicated and all the confused and all the messed-up that was our relationship, one thing we were really really great at was just hanging out together. Just 'being', in the company of each other; just 'being together' too, with our attentions only focused on making each other happy. We were never embarrassed being our real selves in front of each other - there were no taboos.
I've probably got the rose tinted glasses on, but that connection seems the one that's unbreakable.
All the other ties have broken; I'm not under his spell any more, and there really is precious little actual friendship remaining. We'd never ever get along very well during the ordinary course of life. Both our values and our temperaments clash, and whilst I know nobody's perfect, least of all me, if I was being cold and hard I might say that in terms of character, his track record may leave a little to be desired. He can get me riled up and angry at him like noone else can - but he can, I suppose, invoke my soft side and my forgiveness like noone else too.
And like I said, he's a great person to get wrapped up in, and he can make me relax like noone else can do too.
... .
I've gone round and round this merry-go-round more times than I can count.
Being so riled up... being able (for a while, at least) to put the past in the past and move on and feel free. I am talking about years, not about weeks here, afterall. To realise how mis-matched we ever were in the first place, to be able to wish him well in his endeavours but be glad that they're not with me... to know again that there are little real links of residule of genuine friendship between us.... and then to turn around and miss him a whole lot more, once again.
A mind that can't concentrate and is full of these thoughts this weekend, and a heart that, almost 'for better or for worse', will only like him, in a way that, it seems, can't be avoided.
I have been on other dates and stuff, but they just didn't seem to hold a candle to him. Is it going to be this for ever?