(no subject)
So ... I really can't explain where I am at.
I am sort of numb with everything. Not in the I am so depressed I cannot continue on with life way but in the ... I just could care less way. I love my son, he makes me happy, I like my job it makes me happy. I feel happy, sad, anger ... everything is normal just can't find a way to feel about this whole situation with james,
I mean yeah. I was mad when I found out. It was more of a your pitiful laughing anger twords him less on our relationship. But I can't figure out what to do. I mean honestly what the hell is there to do.
I have a child, I am pregnant and ... I depend on James for help with Benny and after a year Benny is so attached to him it would be sick to take James away from him just because he did something stupid. I live with him ... and I am pregnant with his kid so its like alright yeah, I could move back into my mom's and deal with that or I could just find some medium.
Thing is, James feels like he deserves a second chance because Mitch got one for his stupid actions. I tried to retort that logic well we had a child together and we were married but due to my disbelife in marriage that is null and void and ... well James and I have a child together now too, and really almost two because James has become such a perminate fixutre in Benny's life.
It just sucks all of it.
How do you find a second chance for someone you were already giving a second chance to in your eyes. Its just all kinda a mess but for some reason I am just not worried about it. Maybe its just the stress, maybe because I've already done this ... maybe its just something wrong with me but either way ... I guess I am just gonna go about my business.
I am sort of numb with everything. Not in the I am so depressed I cannot continue on with life way but in the ... I just could care less way. I love my son, he makes me happy, I like my job it makes me happy. I feel happy, sad, anger ... everything is normal just can't find a way to feel about this whole situation with james,
I mean yeah. I was mad when I found out. It was more of a your pitiful laughing anger twords him less on our relationship. But I can't figure out what to do. I mean honestly what the hell is there to do.
I have a child, I am pregnant and ... I depend on James for help with Benny and after a year Benny is so attached to him it would be sick to take James away from him just because he did something stupid. I live with him ... and I am pregnant with his kid so its like alright yeah, I could move back into my mom's and deal with that or I could just find some medium.
Thing is, James feels like he deserves a second chance because Mitch got one for his stupid actions. I tried to retort that logic well we had a child together and we were married but due to my disbelife in marriage that is null and void and ... well James and I have a child together now too, and really almost two because James has become such a perminate fixutre in Benny's life.
It just sucks all of it.
How do you find a second chance for someone you were already giving a second chance to in your eyes. Its just all kinda a mess but for some reason I am just not worried about it. Maybe its just the stress, maybe because I've already done this ... maybe its just something wrong with me but either way ... I guess I am just gonna go about my business.