I just am upset for obvious reasons, but its like just really. This shit was done to me before he swore so much that he would never do it, made my life a living hell for communicating with Mitch ever ... because mitch did this to me, then does it to me too. I am really mixed on this because I am kinda at like a well awesome what the fuck do I do now point. I never wanted this baby, if I had it my way and it wouldn't even be growing in there. Like, I had really mixed feelings about this baby. It took me up until prob a week before I found out about this to really find clarity in it. I was bouncing back and forth about my ability to deal with being a parent and what was right in my head about having it, There were days I was so discusted at the mention of abortion or adoption and there were days I was looking up phone numbers for help. its like realistically if I don't have someone there im fucked with 2 kids. Its my fault really it is, I don't blaim anyone else but ... I had everything ready to go to school till I got knocked up like an idiot, and just finally was feeling like I was on an okay path in life. Then boom gone. And really that is what makes me sick, he sweet talks and acts like everything is amazing and fantastic, and then like he is doing shit like this.
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