.:Alive and Other Nonsense:.
I forge my boss' name on loads of shit. Damn I'm good at it, too.
I need to refresh my graphology skills.
James and I started this diet together this week that has me consuming 90% unprocessed plant matter and ten percent less interesting stuff. I've finally taken that extra step, and am now officially a Vegan. Dammit.
I went for a run last night because it was dark and I couldn't see anything and I was hoping I'd fall and hurt myself. I took the dogs out with me because it was much more fun having MOVING obstacles. Tempest kept coming back to check on me because I kept stopping to stare at the sky... it's so... vivid and clear out where I live, thank you country and therefore no city lights or smog to compete with the brilliance of stars. At one point I lifted my hand, almost convinced that if I just thought hard enough, if I just reached a little further and believed, I could touch a hole in the sky. All I hit was air.
Looking at the sky where I live is like looking at a map of the constellations. Tiny shards of glittering diamonds thrown across midnight velvet while the observer stands in a long forgotten robot graveyard. Heh. I remember how I was feeling about this time last year.
I'm coming out of it. I think I'm coming out of it cleaner. I realized some things on the way home two nights ago, the anniversary. I've pondered this about a fucking thousand and a half times, but I've never really *realized* and *accepted* this: it was not my fault.
What a fucking stupid revelation to have.
Shouldn't I be beyond such things by now?
Age has very little to do with competence. I'm learning that more and more every day, thanks to myself and a certain best friend, who's statements are sometimes merely "heh" worthy.
I rolled down a grass hill that was quite steep on tuesday for no good reason at all.
I found myself chewing on my nails the other day, and I've never done that before. Strange.
Somedays, I wish Elliott lived next door so I could fuck his brains out whenever I felt like it.
I'm excited about seeing him again. As excited as I can be about anything right now.
I hurt my knee running and it brought back my cough, but it was totally worth it and I'll probably do it again tonight.
I now officially own over fifty movies on DVD. When the hell did I get that many movies? I thought I had six or something. By the end of the year I'll probably have over a hundred, at this flipping rate.
I'm looking into moving out. With a friend. Friend optional. Now that I'm making $15 an hour I could easily afford a place by myself. It's not like I spend my money on much crap. I think I really dig this whole minimalist view that is constantly pervading my thoughts and actions. It's saving me a shitload of cash. Now I've just got a lot of it sitting around, and more is on it's way.
Saturday night Anna and I are having a sleepover, just us sisters, at her apartment.
I think I'm going to take her out and make her pierce something. 8-D
Maybe I'll get a tattoo while I'm at it.
Or another piercing, but I always get tired of them and pull them out.
Maybe I'll have someone else finish the last few touches to the ankh I have officially finished burning into my thigh. It could be rounded out just a touch.
Now I feel like burning other things.
I miss throwing snow in Nick's face and how brilliant he'd smile at me when I was all fake-pouty just before I'd launch another snowball at him (that would usually miss and then he'd shove me down, the bastard.)
Beginning of next year I'm going to be salaried around $20 an hour. Sweet. Considering I started working here a month and a half ago, and in that month and a half, have gone from $10 an hour to $15 an hour. Mary really knows how to keep her employees around. She's even okay with me taking two months off next spring/summer to go around the world. Which I still need to talk with David about, because I really really really want our trips to coincide, even if it's only for part of the journey, you know? I'm thinking April and May. That's ideal for me.
I told Elliott if he'll take summer courses at UT and live here I'd pay for them. I think he thought I was joking.
I'm not.
I want to do something spectacularly lovely for Nick but I haven't made up my mind exactly *what* yet. I already know what I'm going to do for Heather. It'll be fanfuckingtastic. =D
Ooooooooh. So THIS is the benefit to having more money than you can spend. Huh.
Which reminds me, this morning I looked down at my feet and realized I am wearing Tom's shoes. Well, Tom's shoes that he gave me. I haven't spoken to him in almost three weeks or something, and am wondering how he's doing, but afraid that contact would rekindle his feelings for me if they haven't been flushed yet. Not that 'money' is the only thing that reminds me of Tom, but when you're that loaded and 25, well... it's hard not to think of it. I wish things had ended better. =(
Christmas this year is going to be fantastic for my friends. (See? I'm planning ahead! I'm barely morbid anymore, huzzah.) I've already budgeted out what I'm going to spend. It really IS better to give than receive. More gratifying, anyway. Receiving is embarrassing. Giving makes me glow.
I'm getting so good at my job, too. Yippee. I can now multi-task. Talk to a crackhead and draft a letter to a judge at the same time.
Midget scat porn.
HAHAHAHAHA.
/end rambling
I need to refresh my graphology skills.
James and I started this diet together this week that has me consuming 90% unprocessed plant matter and ten percent less interesting stuff. I've finally taken that extra step, and am now officially a Vegan. Dammit.
I went for a run last night because it was dark and I couldn't see anything and I was hoping I'd fall and hurt myself. I took the dogs out with me because it was much more fun having MOVING obstacles. Tempest kept coming back to check on me because I kept stopping to stare at the sky... it's so... vivid and clear out where I live, thank you country and therefore no city lights or smog to compete with the brilliance of stars. At one point I lifted my hand, almost convinced that if I just thought hard enough, if I just reached a little further and believed, I could touch a hole in the sky. All I hit was air.
Looking at the sky where I live is like looking at a map of the constellations. Tiny shards of glittering diamonds thrown across midnight velvet while the observer stands in a long forgotten robot graveyard. Heh. I remember how I was feeling about this time last year.
I'm coming out of it. I think I'm coming out of it cleaner. I realized some things on the way home two nights ago, the anniversary. I've pondered this about a fucking thousand and a half times, but I've never really *realized* and *accepted* this: it was not my fault.
What a fucking stupid revelation to have.
Shouldn't I be beyond such things by now?
Age has very little to do with competence. I'm learning that more and more every day, thanks to myself and a certain best friend, who's statements are sometimes merely "heh" worthy.
I rolled down a grass hill that was quite steep on tuesday for no good reason at all.
I found myself chewing on my nails the other day, and I've never done that before. Strange.
Somedays, I wish Elliott lived next door so I could fuck his brains out whenever I felt like it.
I'm excited about seeing him again. As excited as I can be about anything right now.
I hurt my knee running and it brought back my cough, but it was totally worth it and I'll probably do it again tonight.
I now officially own over fifty movies on DVD. When the hell did I get that many movies? I thought I had six or something. By the end of the year I'll probably have over a hundred, at this flipping rate.
I'm looking into moving out. With a friend. Friend optional. Now that I'm making $15 an hour I could easily afford a place by myself. It's not like I spend my money on much crap. I think I really dig this whole minimalist view that is constantly pervading my thoughts and actions. It's saving me a shitload of cash. Now I've just got a lot of it sitting around, and more is on it's way.
Saturday night Anna and I are having a sleepover, just us sisters, at her apartment.
I think I'm going to take her out and make her pierce something. 8-D
Maybe I'll get a tattoo while I'm at it.
Or another piercing, but I always get tired of them and pull them out.
Maybe I'll have someone else finish the last few touches to the ankh I have officially finished burning into my thigh. It could be rounded out just a touch.
Now I feel like burning other things.
I miss throwing snow in Nick's face and how brilliant he'd smile at me when I was all fake-pouty just before I'd launch another snowball at him (that would usually miss and then he'd shove me down, the bastard.)
Beginning of next year I'm going to be salaried around $20 an hour. Sweet. Considering I started working here a month and a half ago, and in that month and a half, have gone from $10 an hour to $15 an hour. Mary really knows how to keep her employees around. She's even okay with me taking two months off next spring/summer to go around the world. Which I still need to talk with David about, because I really really really want our trips to coincide, even if it's only for part of the journey, you know? I'm thinking April and May. That's ideal for me.
I told Elliott if he'll take summer courses at UT and live here I'd pay for them. I think he thought I was joking.
I'm not.
I want to do something spectacularly lovely for Nick but I haven't made up my mind exactly *what* yet. I already know what I'm going to do for Heather. It'll be fanfuckingtastic. =D
Ooooooooh. So THIS is the benefit to having more money than you can spend. Huh.
Which reminds me, this morning I looked down at my feet and realized I am wearing Tom's shoes. Well, Tom's shoes that he gave me. I haven't spoken to him in almost three weeks or something, and am wondering how he's doing, but afraid that contact would rekindle his feelings for me if they haven't been flushed yet. Not that 'money' is the only thing that reminds me of Tom, but when you're that loaded and 25, well... it's hard not to think of it. I wish things had ended better. =(
Christmas this year is going to be fantastic for my friends. (See? I'm planning ahead! I'm barely morbid anymore, huzzah.) I've already budgeted out what I'm going to spend. It really IS better to give than receive. More gratifying, anyway. Receiving is embarrassing. Giving makes me glow.
I'm getting so good at my job, too. Yippee. I can now multi-task. Talk to a crackhead and draft a letter to a judge at the same time.
Midget scat porn.
HAHAHAHAHA.
/end rambling