♚ → You can't erase your buried feelings {kis-my-ft2/news/je}
Title: You can't erase your buried feelings
Chapter: oneshot
Author: tytta
Pairing(s): yamashita/kitayama, fujigaya/kitayama
Fandom(s): kis-my-ft2/news/je
Rating: nc-17
Genre: smut, angst
Summary: kitayama never thought that what he felt towards yamashita a long time ago, would effect so much to his present.
Disclaimer: boys belongs to Johnny and story belongs to me.
Warnings: I guess that rating & genre can tell you about warnings..
Comment: dedicated to elindar since she wanted yamapi/hiromitsu-fics (since there is too few of them) and since she has done so much for me. love you <3 I hope you guys enjoy this. And happy new year!
Hiro remembered those days like it just happened yesterday. He still remembered that boy, though how he even could to forget him. You can say that these two boys weren't very close, and in the fact, they weren't.
But somehow they have affected to each others' lives. Or so Hiro wanted to think. That he wasn't nobody to that boy, who seemed perfect, watched you him in any way.
These boys were born around same time, but still they weren't that familiar. Well, being around same age doesn't make people close to each other, of course. But these boys had something in common anyway.
That was a soccer, which both of them played in same team. Though, it was mostly just smiling to each other and maybe clapping after scoring, but it was still something. Hiro wasn't sure when and why, but not too much time later, that he was fell into this guy. The guy seemed to stay as a mystery to him.
Thinking that Yamashita was in Johnny's and also seemed to be pretty popular, which mean pretty much of that Yamashita will be more and more busy and probably leave that only thing which make him so close to Hiro.
And out of knowing why he did that, Hiro kissed Yamashita. Out of the blue. Middle of the hall. When Hiro realized what he was doing, he pulled back and looked at how the other reacted. Yamashita seemed surpised and looked at his team-mate like he tried to know what to say, but before he could say anything, Hiro mubbled that he was sorry and ran away.
After it, Hiro skipped few days of school. He just couldn't meet the other boy - not yet, when his heart is in billions parts. It was about a week before Hiro came back to school, mostly because he's was forced to go by his mother, who didn't his only son being in troubles with his school or so.
When he got to school, he noticed pretty soon that the other male acted like nothing happen between them, so Hiro also decided to act that way. He also decided to give up his feelings as well ….
**
In 2002, Hiro found himself there. In Johnny's Entertainment. He was now part of Johnny's Juniors. Those, who supported their sempai in their shows and so. He soon joined also in Jr Boys, since attended from same school than Yamashita and others. Even so, Hiro didn't mind, he just continued to come more and more better all dancing and rollerskating.
Under this unit, he met him. He was on supporting his sempai's con and he could met that boy, who loved making people smiling - Taisuke. At first, this guy seemed pretty nothing to him, like most of boys in jimoshu were to each others.
But soon Hiro realized that it looked like that the destiny had decided otherwise. Hiro was soon put in same unit with Taisuke and other 5 boys. Together they started to work under Kis-my-ft. And Hiro didn't know should think that the destiny has settle things or what was happening, but for some weird reasons, he realized that Taisuke had come from random to the most special person.
At first, the other boy sure annoyed him as hell and he just needed to hear how the other just whined how difficult he was and how he was always like he made fun of the other's trying to make him smiling. But somehow, it all disappeared when he could see inside Taisuke's soul and he realized that he was waiting that he will see the other soon.
Not long time after, Hiro noticed that they were sharing more than just same 'job'. They shared their smiles. They shared their worries. They shared the bed.. Soon Hiro noticed that he depend a lot on Taisuke.
Taisuke learned to him, which is like when your feelings aren't so one-sided. He learned that you can express your caring, love and needs even without words. Though, Hiro doesn't show it that much, but he was happy. The things which were happened to him, they happened for reason.
But... what he didn't know is that his buried feelings, which he thought to be disappeared already showed that they were is still somewhere inside Hiro.
**
For various reason, Hiro found himself in same room with Yamapi. The atmosphere between them was kinda awkward, but it was normal to them. They haven't ever been a great friends or anything.
Somewhere inside of him, Hiro felt some kind of a feeling, was growing and growing, making him feeling uneasy. When Hiro looked at the other, he is feeling like he was still that same boy. The same boy, who was watching same guy with huge admiration and more. And Hiro was sure that he was buried that part of him a long time ago.
But still, he was sitting next to the other, looking at him with same eyes, he did very long time ago. And like feeling the other's stare at him, Yamapi turned to look at him and it was enough to turn Hiro's brains off.
Before Hiro even realized it, he stood up, went to sit on Yamapi's lap and kissed him. At first, Hiro was kissing the other pretty shyly, since he couldn't say for sure that the other won't push him away and the he would feel bigger pain than he never felt back his school days.
But the other didn't show any kind of rejection, more like, he seemed to be glad being kissed by the other.
Hiro soon noticed that being kissed wasn't for him - not after when his buried feelings, which were somewhere back in his mind, has showed their power to him. Yamapi seemed to realized the other's lust and that's why Hiro felt that his jeans were done and lying on the floor not too far of him.
Hiro tried to get some kind of track of his thoughts right now, but he couldn't because he felt a finger inside him - being soon followed with other finger. It felt so good that Hiro couldn't find any power hold his moans back.
While having three fingers inside him, Hiro decided that he need to do something before he is going crazy. ”Yamashita-kun, please...”, Hiro whispered desirely. He could feel the other male disappointed stare at him, like telling him to not talk to him so formally. But Yamapi didn't said anything in words, but unzipping his own jeans and preparing himself, before he pulled his fingers out of Hiro's and replaced them with his hardness.
Hiro was nearly screaming, when he felt that something cold and hard was inside him, but he didn't complained. As soon as he got used to the feeling, he started to rock him against Yamapi. That made older male growl and Hiro decided that turned him on more than anything else.
In back of his mind, Hiro realized that this was he had wanted since those days, when he was still that boy in same high school as Yamapi. Every time, when Yamapi hit his spot inside, Hiro had harder and harder to get breath.
Everything was over way too fast for Hiro's taste, but he couldn't complain, since he just got more than he has ever imagine to get. Hiro felt Yamapi's lips on his, but they felt cold and hard. Hiro felt a bit sad, but just after few seconds he kicked his sadness out of his mind, since he wasn't allowed to feel that way.
Yamapi got away off him and then followed those few awkward moments when they just silent and just re-dressed like nothing happened. Yamapi was the first one, who left. He didn't look at Hiro at last time.
When the door closed behind Yamapi, Hiro felt uneasy - somehow nervous. Something inside him told him to avoid him going to out of the door, just espacing somewhere no one would find him. But Hiro's ego couldn't allow it. But still, he knew that if he opens the door now, nothing might go right.
**
Hiro got out of the room carefully. Everything looked fine, but still... something was off, somehow. When he got outside, Hiro froze. The view what was in front of him was shocking him. He could see of the way Taisuke looked at him that the other has heard more than he probably should have and Hiro paniced. This wasn't going to end nicely, for sure.
Taisuke stared him with those betrayed and tears-fully eyes and Hiro wondered if the other could make any scarier face than that. Taisuke did so for few moments, when he seemed to get enough and were going to run.
Though, Taisuke couldn't get far because Hiro grabbed his hand and made him turn around, so that Taisuke could meet Hiro's face just couple of centimetres of his.
”Let me go!” Taisuke said and tried to fight off Hiro's hold. But Hiro didn't loose his hold and Taisuke did knew that he was too weak to Hiro. That's why he just lowered his head on Hiro's shoulder and cried.
”You're stupid, you know?”, Taisuke muttered and Hiro swallowed.
”I know.” Hiro said. ”I'm sorry.”
”That's not enough!!” Taisuke almost yelled.
”I know, but...” Hiro paused that he could get an eyecontact with Taisuke. ”I never wanted to do this to you and that's why I'm sorry.”
Taisuke tried to hold his tears, though he is failing. ”Why?”
Hiro put his hand on Taisuke's face. ”I don't know.” he said seriously and took a little paused. ”I thought that I was already over off him, but I guess I was wrong...”
Hiro could feel that Taisuke was thinking all what he just said. ”... So I was just replacement for him, right?”
If it wasn't a situation like this, Hiro'd have probably just laughed at him. ”Ah, you idiot. You have been always Taisuke - and you'll always be Taisuke. You can't replace anyone and no one can replace you.” he said and kissed him lightly on lips.
”I love you.” Hiro said silently. Taisuke nodded. ”I know.”
They were silent for while - both of them. Just holding each others.
”Taisuke.” Hiro said and he felt that Taisuke was listening, even he didn't move. ”I'm not sure about what will happen to us, but... I don't want to lose you because of this. I promise that I'll do all what I can do that I could get over of my feelings towards Yamapi and then...” Hiro pulled Taisuke off him so that he could watch the younger one straight to eyes. ”I'll make myself being just with you.”
Hiro could see a hint of smile on Taisuke's lips. ”You better do that. Or I can't be sure that I won't make same thing to you.” Taisuke said and Hiro smiled ofr that before kissing Taisuke again, just longer this time.
THE END
*****
Ending comment: .. yeah, since I shipped Hiro with Yamapi now, I also needed to add him being with Taisuke as well, since they are my OTP. Can't forget them that easily, duh. T-T;
Comments are love, like always. And I'm taking requests here :)
Chapter: oneshot
Author: tytta
Pairing(s): yamashita/kitayama, fujigaya/kitayama
Fandom(s): kis-my-ft2/news/je
Rating: nc-17
Genre: smut, angst
Summary: kitayama never thought that what he felt towards yamashita a long time ago, would effect so much to his present.
Disclaimer: boys belongs to Johnny and story belongs to me.
Warnings: I guess that rating & genre can tell you about warnings..
Comment: dedicated to elindar since she wanted yamapi/hiromitsu-fics (since there is too few of them) and since she has done so much for me. love you <3 I hope you guys enjoy this. And happy new year!
Hiro remembered those days like it just happened yesterday. He still remembered that boy, though how he even could to forget him. You can say that these two boys weren't very close, and in the fact, they weren't.
But somehow they have affected to each others' lives. Or so Hiro wanted to think. That he wasn't nobody to that boy, who seemed perfect, watched you him in any way.
These boys were born around same time, but still they weren't that familiar. Well, being around same age doesn't make people close to each other, of course. But these boys had something in common anyway.
That was a soccer, which both of them played in same team. Though, it was mostly just smiling to each other and maybe clapping after scoring, but it was still something. Hiro wasn't sure when and why, but not too much time later, that he was fell into this guy. The guy seemed to stay as a mystery to him.
Thinking that Yamashita was in Johnny's and also seemed to be pretty popular, which mean pretty much of that Yamashita will be more and more busy and probably leave that only thing which make him so close to Hiro.
And out of knowing why he did that, Hiro kissed Yamashita. Out of the blue. Middle of the hall. When Hiro realized what he was doing, he pulled back and looked at how the other reacted. Yamashita seemed surpised and looked at his team-mate like he tried to know what to say, but before he could say anything, Hiro mubbled that he was sorry and ran away.
After it, Hiro skipped few days of school. He just couldn't meet the other boy - not yet, when his heart is in billions parts. It was about a week before Hiro came back to school, mostly because he's was forced to go by his mother, who didn't his only son being in troubles with his school or so.
When he got to school, he noticed pretty soon that the other male acted like nothing happen between them, so Hiro also decided to act that way. He also decided to give up his feelings as well ….
**
In 2002, Hiro found himself there. In Johnny's Entertainment. He was now part of Johnny's Juniors. Those, who supported their sempai in their shows and so. He soon joined also in Jr Boys, since attended from same school than Yamashita and others. Even so, Hiro didn't mind, he just continued to come more and more better all dancing and rollerskating.
Under this unit, he met him. He was on supporting his sempai's con and he could met that boy, who loved making people smiling - Taisuke. At first, this guy seemed pretty nothing to him, like most of boys in jimoshu were to each others.
But soon Hiro realized that it looked like that the destiny had decided otherwise. Hiro was soon put in same unit with Taisuke and other 5 boys. Together they started to work under Kis-my-ft. And Hiro didn't know should think that the destiny has settle things or what was happening, but for some weird reasons, he realized that Taisuke had come from random to the most special person.
At first, the other boy sure annoyed him as hell and he just needed to hear how the other just whined how difficult he was and how he was always like he made fun of the other's trying to make him smiling. But somehow, it all disappeared when he could see inside Taisuke's soul and he realized that he was waiting that he will see the other soon.
Not long time after, Hiro noticed that they were sharing more than just same 'job'. They shared their smiles. They shared their worries. They shared the bed.. Soon Hiro noticed that he depend a lot on Taisuke.
Taisuke learned to him, which is like when your feelings aren't so one-sided. He learned that you can express your caring, love and needs even without words. Though, Hiro doesn't show it that much, but he was happy. The things which were happened to him, they happened for reason.
But... what he didn't know is that his buried feelings, which he thought to be disappeared already showed that they were is still somewhere inside Hiro.
**
For various reason, Hiro found himself in same room with Yamapi. The atmosphere between them was kinda awkward, but it was normal to them. They haven't ever been a great friends or anything.
Somewhere inside of him, Hiro felt some kind of a feeling, was growing and growing, making him feeling uneasy. When Hiro looked at the other, he is feeling like he was still that same boy. The same boy, who was watching same guy with huge admiration and more. And Hiro was sure that he was buried that part of him a long time ago.
But still, he was sitting next to the other, looking at him with same eyes, he did very long time ago. And like feeling the other's stare at him, Yamapi turned to look at him and it was enough to turn Hiro's brains off.
Before Hiro even realized it, he stood up, went to sit on Yamapi's lap and kissed him. At first, Hiro was kissing the other pretty shyly, since he couldn't say for sure that the other won't push him away and the he would feel bigger pain than he never felt back his school days.
But the other didn't show any kind of rejection, more like, he seemed to be glad being kissed by the other.
Hiro soon noticed that being kissed wasn't for him - not after when his buried feelings, which were somewhere back in his mind, has showed their power to him. Yamapi seemed to realized the other's lust and that's why Hiro felt that his jeans were done and lying on the floor not too far of him.
Hiro tried to get some kind of track of his thoughts right now, but he couldn't because he felt a finger inside him - being soon followed with other finger. It felt so good that Hiro couldn't find any power hold his moans back.
While having three fingers inside him, Hiro decided that he need to do something before he is going crazy. ”Yamashita-kun, please...”, Hiro whispered desirely. He could feel the other male disappointed stare at him, like telling him to not talk to him so formally. But Yamapi didn't said anything in words, but unzipping his own jeans and preparing himself, before he pulled his fingers out of Hiro's and replaced them with his hardness.
Hiro was nearly screaming, when he felt that something cold and hard was inside him, but he didn't complained. As soon as he got used to the feeling, he started to rock him against Yamapi. That made older male growl and Hiro decided that turned him on more than anything else.
In back of his mind, Hiro realized that this was he had wanted since those days, when he was still that boy in same high school as Yamapi. Every time, when Yamapi hit his spot inside, Hiro had harder and harder to get breath.
Everything was over way too fast for Hiro's taste, but he couldn't complain, since he just got more than he has ever imagine to get. Hiro felt Yamapi's lips on his, but they felt cold and hard. Hiro felt a bit sad, but just after few seconds he kicked his sadness out of his mind, since he wasn't allowed to feel that way.
Yamapi got away off him and then followed those few awkward moments when they just silent and just re-dressed like nothing happened. Yamapi was the first one, who left. He didn't look at Hiro at last time.
When the door closed behind Yamapi, Hiro felt uneasy - somehow nervous. Something inside him told him to avoid him going to out of the door, just espacing somewhere no one would find him. But Hiro's ego couldn't allow it. But still, he knew that if he opens the door now, nothing might go right.
**
Hiro got out of the room carefully. Everything looked fine, but still... something was off, somehow. When he got outside, Hiro froze. The view what was in front of him was shocking him. He could see of the way Taisuke looked at him that the other has heard more than he probably should have and Hiro paniced. This wasn't going to end nicely, for sure.
Taisuke stared him with those betrayed and tears-fully eyes and Hiro wondered if the other could make any scarier face than that. Taisuke did so for few moments, when he seemed to get enough and were going to run.
Though, Taisuke couldn't get far because Hiro grabbed his hand and made him turn around, so that Taisuke could meet Hiro's face just couple of centimetres of his.
”Let me go!” Taisuke said and tried to fight off Hiro's hold. But Hiro didn't loose his hold and Taisuke did knew that he was too weak to Hiro. That's why he just lowered his head on Hiro's shoulder and cried.
”You're stupid, you know?”, Taisuke muttered and Hiro swallowed.
”I know.” Hiro said. ”I'm sorry.”
”That's not enough!!” Taisuke almost yelled.
”I know, but...” Hiro paused that he could get an eyecontact with Taisuke. ”I never wanted to do this to you and that's why I'm sorry.”
Taisuke tried to hold his tears, though he is failing. ”Why?”
Hiro put his hand on Taisuke's face. ”I don't know.” he said seriously and took a little paused. ”I thought that I was already over off him, but I guess I was wrong...”
Hiro could feel that Taisuke was thinking all what he just said. ”... So I was just replacement for him, right?”
If it wasn't a situation like this, Hiro'd have probably just laughed at him. ”Ah, you idiot. You have been always Taisuke - and you'll always be Taisuke. You can't replace anyone and no one can replace you.” he said and kissed him lightly on lips.
”I love you.” Hiro said silently. Taisuke nodded. ”I know.”
They were silent for while - both of them. Just holding each others.
”Taisuke.” Hiro said and he felt that Taisuke was listening, even he didn't move. ”I'm not sure about what will happen to us, but... I don't want to lose you because of this. I promise that I'll do all what I can do that I could get over of my feelings towards Yamapi and then...” Hiro pulled Taisuke off him so that he could watch the younger one straight to eyes. ”I'll make myself being just with you.”
Hiro could see a hint of smile on Taisuke's lips. ”You better do that. Or I can't be sure that I won't make same thing to you.” Taisuke said and Hiro smiled ofr that before kissing Taisuke again, just longer this time.
THE END
*****
Ending comment: .. yeah, since I shipped Hiro with Yamapi now, I also needed to add him being with Taisuke as well, since they are my OTP. Can't forget them that easily, duh. T-T;
Comments are love, like always. And I'm taking requests here :)