(no subject)
well. as most of u know. my dad is dope. couldn't ask for a better daddy-o. but he has another mild heart attack the other day. hes fine. but hes beginning to change. hes just not the same anymore. his diabetes is starting to affect him more and while my life is starting to get going his is starting to slow down. its weird. i have older parents than most of my friends. my daddy is 56 i believe and retired. so hes not being too active to keep him young nowadays. but its okay, hes still fun to hang out with. i mean with his new medical Maryjane card.
but he woke up a bout 30 min ago shaking. and i heard a ruckus going on downstairs in the kitchen. i go to the kitchen and hes shaking. im freaking out here. im thinking that his is the big heart attack. but his sugar level was really low so he was looking for some sweets to eat.
i dont like the fact that every second im worrying about my dad like hes 2 yrs old. im constantly finding myself asking him "how do u feel today pops?" or "have u eaten yet?" and the famous "do u need me to do anything for you?". i know my dad is not helpless but since i cant do anything for him i feel like constantly asking him hoe he is doing something at least.
im scared. ever since i was little i wanted my dad to walk me down the isle of my wedding day. and im scared that he might not be able to. so much shit is going on around me. i guess this is growin up? ha. my gramps just had heart surgery. that 82 yr old man is still kickin strong. and my moms best friend mom just has her 2nd stroke. its like everyone i know around me is getting sick and growing old. ugh i just want to stop worrying the worst case scenario whenever something happens. its like i dont want to leave me house ever cuz i dont want my dad to be alone in case something does happen. but my mom told me not to dwell, its not our job to try to fix shit all the time. but dammit i cant help it im a virgo.
but in to finish off my ranting, i just want to add that after u read this, no matter if ur parents pissed you off last nite or today, just when u leave the house...make sure u tell ur parents bye. cuz u never know what the crazy journey we call life is going to turn on us.
but he woke up a bout 30 min ago shaking. and i heard a ruckus going on downstairs in the kitchen. i go to the kitchen and hes shaking. im freaking out here. im thinking that his is the big heart attack. but his sugar level was really low so he was looking for some sweets to eat.
i dont like the fact that every second im worrying about my dad like hes 2 yrs old. im constantly finding myself asking him "how do u feel today pops?" or "have u eaten yet?" and the famous "do u need me to do anything for you?". i know my dad is not helpless but since i cant do anything for him i feel like constantly asking him hoe he is doing something at least.
im scared. ever since i was little i wanted my dad to walk me down the isle of my wedding day. and im scared that he might not be able to. so much shit is going on around me. i guess this is growin up? ha. my gramps just had heart surgery. that 82 yr old man is still kickin strong. and my moms best friend mom just has her 2nd stroke. its like everyone i know around me is getting sick and growing old. ugh i just want to stop worrying the worst case scenario whenever something happens. its like i dont want to leave me house ever cuz i dont want my dad to be alone in case something does happen. but my mom told me not to dwell, its not our job to try to fix shit all the time. but dammit i cant help it im a virgo.
but in to finish off my ranting, i just want to add that after u read this, no matter if ur parents pissed you off last nite or today, just when u leave the house...make sure u tell ur parents bye. cuz u never know what the crazy journey we call life is going to turn on us.