[oneshot] Worth It All
Title: Worth It All
Pairing: Chiitaro
Author: Keanne (keannegirl01 )
Rating: PG
Summary: Chinen Yuri risked it all for his happiness; Ryutaro risked his happiness for the best of all…
A/N: THIS IS FOR JOEY! (lovetoosweet ) The one and only girl that influenced me into angst.
Chinen Yuri, born deaf and mute, has always been unfortunate in his life. He wanted to become an idol, the one performing on stages, singing and dancing and shines with sweat that shows they worked hard for it. But no, that dream will never come true.
As he stared at the mirror showing his reflection, he can only smile bitterly, as though the heavens had not even given him a single good thing to be thankful of. He wanted to sing and to express the world what he feels and yet he is mute. He wanted to hear the music in his surroundings and appreciate it, he wanted to hear people say that they love him and yet he is deaf.
Is there any worse than that?
Nothing. That was what he thought. Not until he stayed out from his comfort zone and learned about the world. The world of the normal people. Every day, when he looks at them, he can only utter silently on how lucky they are. And yet, why are those people that are complete with everything seemed clueless on how lucky they are? He wanted to have their blessings, if only he could.
Exploring about the world, he met the guy that actually meant the whole world to him. Ryutaro Morimoto. Although the guy was capable of doing anything, that wasn’t a hindrance of bringing them both into friendship. Ryutaro had been really understanding and gentle, patiently learning on how to use the sign language.
And yes, you can guess that the innocent heart of Chinen fell for him. Who wouldn’t? Every time Ryutaro looks at him, he was as if looking only to him, as if he was the only person in the world. Every time Ryutaro smiled at him, it was like that smile was only for him.
He thought so too… until he knew the truth that it was just a lie. He was the only one in love. He fell in love with a guy who fell in love with another. That was painful and yet he accepted it. Because when Okamoto Keito came, he can see that his happiness has found his own happiness…
--
Slowly walking unto the window of his room, facing Ryutaro’s , Chinen peeked from his white curtains. And he realized that he shouldn’t have because that might be one of the biggest mistakes he had ever done in his life.
Ryutaro and Keito are passionately kissing each other, taking each second as e bliss for them. They did it with so much love and Chinen could see then tenderness that Ryutaro was trying to convey.
See how unlucky he is? Now he wondered what could have happened if only he was blind. “I wish I was blind instead… so I wouldn’t see them together.” He whispered to his self. Seconds had passed by into minute and he felt as though his world had really crumbled in front of him.
Closing the curtains, he sat on the floor as liquids started dropping from his eyes. He continued crying and was turned into sobs when a scissor fell on the floor.
He looked at it then decided to pick it up. He stared for a moment on the sharp edge as one thing came to his mind. He slowly closed his eyes and brought the tip of the scissor to his eye. Pushing it harder, he felt as though he had died.
Now, his tears had been replaced with the red liquid that he can barely see. It was dropping from his eyes down to his cheeks endlessly, sympathizing with him. As it flowed down, it was just like his heart has been covered into the darkness. Into the total darkness that he would forever hide from the world, all by his self.
He then continued pushing the point of the scissors to the right side of his eyes. And yet again, the pain covered his body as he tried holding in his cries.
He did it all for his happiness. Now, the Chinen Yuri that everyone knew was a deaf-mute… and blind.
--
Sitting on the soft bed, Chinen laid awake and just let his mind wander. He can feel the soft breezes of the summer air, in which he guessed was from an opened window of his hospital room.
The door opened but he didn’t know how he knew about it. He turned his head slightly to the left side in which he once again guessed was facing the door. “Who is it?” He asked in a weak voice. But nobody answered. “Who is it?” He asked once again.
Slowly, a presence can be felt that was near to him. Until he felt the side of the bed carried another weight as someone sat from it. The stranger still have not uttered a word so he went to sit too. Slowly, he felt soft lips touched his. He was caught off guard and just stayed stiff.
He slowly smiled as the person who kissed him stayed away from him. Then the bed once again got lighter as the weight of the person sitting there was gone. Until he couldn’t feel the presence anymore.
He didn’t ever realize that he would be thankful of something that has been given to him. And that was his sense of smelling. Because through it, he can perfectly say it was his happiness. It was Ryutaro Morimoto and his sweet scent he couldn’t forget.
--
As Ryutaro kissed Chinen lightly, he tried holding in his tears. His heart ached looking at his own happiness being unable to distinguish him. It hurt him so much to be kept on the dark forever, losing his sense of sight."I am leaving..." He whispered weakly, afraid that Chinen might hear it although he knew it was impossible.
But no, he didn’t know it would come to this. What he wanted was Chinen to forget him. He tried paying his friend to act as his boyfriend for a few days and to let Chinen see that they were kissing. It was all because he was leaving, for good. And he knew he will never be back.
All he wanted was for Chinen to learn living on his own again…
Now, as he slowly walked away from the white room, his can no longer feel his heart pumping and beating. It had died with his last sight of Chinen. His tears escaped from his eyes so clenched his fist tightly and gritted his teeth.
He gave up his happiness for the best of all. He needed to stay strong.
--
As people who will know their story would say that they were a fool for doing unnecessary things, they would just ignore them. No matter what they say… it was worth it all.
Now, will you be able to say that they were fool? Or just that everything around them just couldn’t allow them to be together?
***
A/N: FINALLY POSTED IT. OMG. I KNOW THIS IS TOO LATE ALREADY, JOEY. I’m feeling so embarrassed about this because the one you gave me on my birthday was great and awesome and brilliant… and wasn’t even late at all. Mine is simple and… very much late. ;A; Still, I wish this made you happy just seeing Chiitaro.
I know this is a lame plot. Even I don't really get it. -____-