ot12: kids and men
title: kids and men
pairing: none, ot12-ish
genre: crack then more crack
summary: suho and kris are switch with each other’s sub-group.
a/n: idk trying out an ot12 fic so... ofc ends up being a mess.
joonmyun groans in frustration as he reaches out for his cell phone that disturbs his sleep, at such unholy hour of 4am. without opening his eyes, he slides his thumb on the screen and answers, "hell---low?", in a really low and sleepy voice.
the other one on the line, the manager-hyung, apologizes then tells him to go downstairs. he was about to ask why but the line had already been cut off. well, that was it?
muttering incoherent words, he buries his face back to his pillow. he opts to go back to sleep again but the back of his mind tells him he surely would not want to see himself being dragged by the manager-hyung instead. he kicks his feet and keeps saying curses on his mind. he rolls from his bed but a little too late to realize, he falls on the floor with a loud thud. fuck, he groans in pain.
---
many a question marks pops up in joonmyun's mind as he rubs his eyes and stares at kris with the two managers. they are busy discussing over something and he feels a little left out. uhm hello? im already here. "can't this wait 'til the sun rises?", he interrupts.
kris looks at him with a confused look, "the sun is already rising." he informs.
joonmyun sighs in defeat, "so what's with the sudden ... uhm, meeting?" he asks and hopefully he'd get the answer.
"both of you will switch being leaders in k and m." one of the manager-hyung states then gives a slight smile. "it'll be for a week."
"WHAT?!" kris' thundering voice echoes throughout the living room, his brows furrowing.
joonmyun sighs and feels his drowsiness go off. the managers eye them and smile, "... for a change.", in unison.
pity wash over joonmyun as he looks at kris, finally time to loosen out from the wild kids. his mind whispers.
on the other hand, kris' put on his bitch face while looking at joonmyun, trying his best not to be read. ready yourself to face a jungle, he silently tells.
both of them thought they were finally getting a break.
---
kris has done packing his stuffs as he rummages over his closet once again. he was a bit more excited than usual because he hears exo-k's dorm is way more fun than m's. he smiles knowingly as chanyeol's face pops up on his mind. figures.
"ge, don't leave me..." zitao begs as he comes in, then proceeds to sit on the bed. "or maybe bring me with you."
kris shakes his head as he puts in his favorite gray v-neck shirt on his bag. "only gotta bring my stuffs. "
insisting, zitao beams at the leader and points his pointer finger as if an idea came to his mind. "well? i am one of your packages, duizhang. we come in package together. "
"huang zi---"
yixing then barges through the door, clearly rushing in. "guys i hear kris is quitting exo!!!" he screams as his eyes focus oh, well, kris. "oh, there you are, ge." he greets and smiles, making sure his dimple comes out.
kris heaves a deep breath and stops his self on wanting to massage his temple. "that's it, i'm leaving.", he nods then lifts his bag and puts it on his shoulders.
yixing claps and smiles widely. "OH MY GOD!"
kris throws glare to the younger one and shakes his head. "i'll be with exo-k for a week and in exchange joonmyun will be here."
feigning a sad look, yixing acts like a puppy that has lost his mom. "oh no duizhang ... why ...", but fails as his wide smile creeps on his face again.
with a sigh, kris walks out from his room and throws one last look at zitao and meets a sad face with a pout. he toughens his façade as he continues walking out.
on the living room, luhan is sitting on the couch with his eyes focusing on his laptop.
wanting to get his attention, kris draws closer to him and makes noises. "ehem."
still looking at his laptop screen, luhan never bothers to look up. instead he scoots closer to it.
"i'll be going now," kris states.
"okay, bye."
damn, seriously only zitao wants to stop him? clicking his tongue, he makes his way to minseok and jongdae's room. he really has faith in them and he knows they won't fail him.
even before he could knock on the door, he gets to hear minseok's conversation with his roommate.
"i am so excited to have joonmyun here!!!"
shrieking, jongdae replies, "i know riiiiiiiiight!!!!!"
kris ends up storming out from the dorm and mutters under his breath, "i am so transferring to exo-k!"
exo k's dorm is just a few more blocks away from theirs and before he could turn to a block, he hears some screaming from m's dorm.
"god! luhan!! i told you not to touch anything in the kitchen!! "
"yixing stop stoning and fuckin get a fire extinguisher!!"
"hey zitao stop crying ---!!!!!"
"duizhang take me with you!!!! "
smirking, kris finally smiles and spreads his hands widely, head looking at the sky. "HA! HI, FREEDOM. NICE TO MEET YOU."
----
"joonmyun hyung, are you really leaving?", baekhyun asks for the nth time that day. he keeps following joonmyun wherever he goes and asks the same thing over and over again. joonmyun is now heading to the left side of the dorm and he still lags behind the leader. "joonmyun hyung are you rea--"
joonmyun attempts to come inside and widens his eyes as baekhyun attempts to get inside too. "seriously baekhyun, let me take a pee alone. "
with his mouth hanging open, baekhyun slowly nods and let joonmyun get inside to the bathroom all by himself.
joonmyun sighs after he takes a leak and decides to come outside. he stumbles a bit on his feet when ---
"joonmyun hyung are you really leaving? "
"OKAY BAEKHYUN I AM. ARE YOU DONE NOW." he answers as his patience snaps. he then walks past through the younger and props himself to the sofa. it is about time to leave.
five more minutes, he tells his self as he shifts more. he scans his vision throughout the dorm, memorizing everything he is going to miss, trying hard not to look at the members gawking faces.
"so, when are you leaving, hyung?" kyungsoo asks genuinely as he looks at his wristwatch. "it's getting late."
clearing his throat, joonmyun gives a small awkward smile to kyungsoo. "six more minutes."
----
six minutes passed.
sehun comes out from his room, rubbing his eyes as he yawns and with his hair ruffled. he stops a bit as he looks at their leader still sitting comfortably at the sofa. "hyung, why are you still here?"
as if hurt from their maknae's question, joonmyun forces a sad look on his face. "i was just waiting for six more minutes, okay. seriously are you guys that eager to watch me leave? "
jongin who was busy playing a game, finally interrupts as he shove a mouthful of chips to his own mouth, making crumbs fall on the floor. "yes."
joonmyun chooses to sigh. "what ..."
"no, i mean, yes." jongin answers again and reiterates the word this time.
"and hey, you've been staying for nine minutes and eleven seconds now," chanyeol announces as he waves the stopwatch on his hand and grins like a maniac. "extend? "
"uhm --"
sehun wiggles his butt in between joonmyun and jongin then sits comfortably. when he feels his comfortability rate lacks 0.5%, he looks at joonmyun and says, "move a bit."
wanting to protest, joonmyun opens his mouth to argue because he is way older but chooses to close them back instead as he sees sehun leaning closer to jongin and takes a peak from his game.
now he starts to wonder if it is really a game as he sees two smiles come across the maknaes faces.
sehun covered his mouth as he slightly laughs, eyes getting smaller into thin line. "oh, man that is so awesome.
jongin nods, eyes still focusing on his cell phone. "i know right." then both of them giggles.
there is no way in hell jongin is playing a game, joonmyun realizes.
"i'll be off now.", he announces as he slowly stands up, holding his knees.
kyungsoo looks at him with worry and joonmyun gives a smile that he is fine. his bones are fine.
baekhyun, eyes focusing on the television, manages to command sehun. "sehun-ah, stop joonmyun hyung from leaving."
chanyeol looks at his stopwatch and nods, "i'm giving you three seconds, sehun-ah."
joonmyun knots his forehead because seriously what's with chanyeol and stopwatch?
"no way." sehun grumbles, eyes still focusing on jongin's phone. "oh god look at him doing that thing jongin-ah, he looks so awesome." he praises, obviously amused.
"sehun ...", kyungsoo says in a threatening tone.
sehun shrugs his shoulders and agrees, "what should i do to stop hyung?"
"bbuing bbuing!!!" baekhyun and chanyeol answers in chorus and make hi-five.
"okay joonmyun hyung you may go." sehun states then grabs jongin's phone.
with a sigh, joonmyun picks up his bag from the center table then nods to them. "i'll be back in a week."
he then heads to the dorm and removes his sad face, replaces it with a bright one. "out at last."
before he could walk away, he hears kyungsoo shouting to sehun, "sehun stop kicking the center table! you might ruin it!"
he then hears a crash and would not even want to think what it is.
"but hyung!!! it's not my fault! it's this videos' fault okay because so funny! "
"what's that?!" chanyeol 's deep voice rings.
"a dog pooping on a baby!"
closing his eyes, joonmyun sends silent prayers to kyungsoo. "umma, please take care of the babies while appa is away."
---
kris excitedly enters the password for exo-k's dorm and gets inside. he wasn't surprise to see all five members on the living room, doing their things. such well-behaved members.
baekhyun is watching some music show he does not know what, but he is amused to see k's main vocalist watching girl group's dances.
chanyeol does not notice him yet because he is busy fiddling on a black circle thing. is that a stopwatch?
kyungsoo, sitting across baekhyun, stands up then heads to the kitchen. he is thankful to think he can eat poison-free food at last because back in m's dorm, yixing likes experimenting dishes then comes luhan, as always, just plainly experimenting. he shivers at the memory of slurping from his mushroom soup only to find out it was plainly vinegar. luhan insists, "but that's full of calcium yifan! or is it iron?"
he tilts his head as he looks at sehun and jongin who are sitting quietly on the main sofa, watching something. he smiles, such good people.
"hi, everyone!" he greets as he comes closer to them.
no one answers.
knotting his forehead, kris scratches his head. i'm already gigantic enough with a loud voice. do they not see me?
he steps closer and wants to sit on the sofa but he doesn't have the heart to disturb such behaved maknaes. so he sits on the center table instead. maybe it was just his imagination but he swears he sees mischief on sehun's face.
"hey----"
kris winces in pain as the center table collapses, thanks to its two legs being useless. he feels his butt get numb as he stays on the floor. he curses under his breath as sehun and jongin laughs at him, even worse pointing him while doing so. it felt like he is back to kindergarten, being made fun by other kids.
KIDS.
fuck, he groans.
"oh, there you are kris," chanyeol greets him with a smile and waving that stopwatch again. "and oh..."
kyungsoo then comes outside from the kitchen and widens his eyes, giving kris an apologetic smile then goes back to where he came from.
"BAEKHYUN, I TOLD YOU GLUE WON'T WORK TO PUT BACK THOSE TWO BROKEN LEGS." chanyeol states with confidence as he looks at baekhyun.
barely turning his sight from the television, baekhyun just nodded. "sorry kris i didn't know."
kris calms himself down but he feels his butt being wet. he slightly touches it then smells his hand.
glue.
he tries to stand up but his goddamn jeans is glued on the carpet.
then sehun's and jongin's laugh echoes throughout the dorm again. he realizes he is trapped with kids.
----
kris fumbles on his sleep when he hears a knock on the door. rubbing his eyes, he gets up and makes way to open it, stumbling over something and sends pain to his toes. "what? ", he answers lazily.
chanyeol's face greeted him as he opens the door. "got some problem?"
"i realized i've not greeted you yet so... AYO WAD----"
"GO BACK TO SLEEP PARK CHANYEOL!!!!" he shouts.
chanyeol ends up dashing away to the corridor, wanting to save his dear life.
----
"so ... luhan, yixing, minseok ...", joonmyun starts, "where should I sleep?"
zitao plays with his wushu stick on his hands, thinking. "only duizhang can sleep in my shared room with him so, not with me, hyung."
joonmyun wants to insist but--
"joonmyun, i may look ten but i am older than you. call me 'hyung '." luhan demands, smirk playing on his lips.
"ok luhan hyu--"
"joonmyun, i am older than you too ..." minseok reminds him. "and you can't sleep with me because already sharing it with jongdae who snores with the intensity of 10."
joonmyun starts to lose hope as he looks at yixing.
yixing shakes his head and points luhan. luhan shakes his head too, smirking. "no."
"how about the sofa?", joonmyun offers. "... hyung. "
yixing shakes his head again then sits on it. "i'll be watching latenight movies so..."
luhan whistles, "porn. "
joonmyun wants to cry this time as drops his bag on the floor. "where do i sleep then?"
minseok smiles at him then winks, "we have an extra room actually."
"REALLY?!"
all five members answer him on chorus, "bathroom."
without shame, joonmyun cries and forgets he is supposed to be a 'leader' in m.
he cannot command them. they are 'men'.
MEAN MEN.
----
to: wu yi fan kris
subject : kevin
msg : im bullied.
to: guardian joonmyun
subject: ur lucky
msg: im bullied by kids.
a/n: okay there goes my first ot12 fic and hopefully it wasn’t that bad. Idk, the thought of kris being humiliated by maknaes is really asdfghjkl for me. meanwhile suho can’t lift a finger to exo-m, perfect.
Thank you for reading. feedbacks? :)