Free again!
Well after many years of being in a constant state of prison ie relationships, I'm free again. Strangely, I'm not here though. Somehow I lost myself along the long hard shithole of a relationship. Although the most recent one was shit the one previous to it wasnt bad even though it ended abruptly and hard. However, the most recent one turned out to be one long rebound, more than three years. Somehow I entered the relationship wearing the pants and left without my pants or my balls for that matter. Somehow I was reduced to nothing but a child and this bothers me.
So this journey for self exploration shit starts all over again, as if I didnt have enough problems discovering who I am when I was a teenager. Now being in my 20's having to rediscover what I'm all about is a devistating and quite honestly scary. This massive void sits somewhere within me and figureing out what to do with it is beyond me. I already rebounded once and I do not want to do so again. Bad enough the rebound had to happen with a really amazing girl. In retrospect I regret spending as many years with my ex as I did. This is something I should have ended over a year ago but for some reason I could never find the balls to do so.
The situation I am at right now is pretty fucking sweet I cant complain other then the lack of companionship, sex, and this rediculas void. School is good, I had a good time over the summer, getting back in touch with friends and slowly figuring out what I want to do and what I dont want to do. Everything seems to be moving around me but I'm standing still again. I'm lost as to what I should do.
So this journey for self exploration shit starts all over again, as if I didnt have enough problems discovering who I am when I was a teenager. Now being in my 20's having to rediscover what I'm all about is a devistating and quite honestly scary. This massive void sits somewhere within me and figureing out what to do with it is beyond me. I already rebounded once and I do not want to do so again. Bad enough the rebound had to happen with a really amazing girl. In retrospect I regret spending as many years with my ex as I did. This is something I should have ended over a year ago but for some reason I could never find the balls to do so.
The situation I am at right now is pretty fucking sweet I cant complain other then the lack of companionship, sex, and this rediculas void. School is good, I had a good time over the summer, getting back in touch with friends and slowly figuring out what I want to do and what I dont want to do. Everything seems to be moving around me but I'm standing still again. I'm lost as to what I should do.