Confussion, Stressed, Scared
I went to the the therapist monday, and new info through tell my doctor more and more about my past and what is happening now is making everyone question the diagnoses of Bipolar. My behavior pattern are very unlike the patterns laid out that of Bipolar. Bipolar individuals have moods that tend to last for long patterns of times, where I have mood swings that can last for 20 minutes. My behaviors is more of one that have Borderline Personality Disorder. My doctor gave my mother a book to read about it and the more and more my mom the more and more my mom is like that is Lora. And also the a issue with self-injury is more of a Borderline Personality Disorder characteristic. I have great confused because for the past three year I have been total by many doctor that I have Bipolar, I have been living the past three years believing that and trying to learn as much about it as I can, and now I am told I am not. It is all very stressing and hard to deal with. And there is a part of me that is scared, scared to be told new things, because ever since 3rd grade I have been going to therapy and therapists. Being told so many different, diagnoses changed so many times and now when I think I finely think I have an answer I don't. Its just so hard, will I ever have a solid answer? I hurt change and not knowing, and its killing me right now realizing that I might never get a real answer. What am I going to do? I just everything to stop, I want to stop it right know, because its hurting family, the people I love, I am hurting them. I don't want to do that, I wish I never had these problems, why me?