Attention all homeowners with full refrigerators:
**track marks were easier to draw than a metal arm/claw.**
Why you should adopt me and the angstbag (emotenshi):
+++ We're soft and cuddly. Mostly.
+++ Mudo will just sit in his room/basement/closet/box/misc and cry. No trouble for you.
+++ I'll just lay around and eat/watch tv. No trouble for you.
+++ I'm like a 24 fucking hour discount at-home pharmacy! ED got you down?? 20 bucks, viagra's yours. Bitch been rejecting your advances? 50 bucks, GHB's yours. I got it all, man.
+++ Mudo will do any chore/errand/sexual favor you want (as long as you let him call you Sara.)
+++ Kids love me. Animals love me. My limbs make great chew toys. I'm also an awesome babysitter. And if you feed me good and give me a nice couch to sleep on, I'll promise not to dope them with anything.
Conditions:
--- Sometimes Mudo blasts his lame emo rock. I'll try to keep his angsty ass in line.
--- I get kind of gropey on heroin. Locked bedroom door fixes this problem.
--- Btw I do drugs. Not a problem, right? I swear I'll never do it in the house. Only outside, like a good boy. Unless you're cool with it??
--- We don't do musical numbers about the sun and coming out tomorrow. Fucking deal with it.
In closing, a handful of kittens:
How can you say no to that??