bang bang [2/2 Final]
❇ Title: bang bang [2/2 Final] for wild_jinx
❇ Pairing: chen/kai (chanyeol/chen, chen/sehun, slight chen/suho, slight chen/tao, slight chen/liyin, slight luhan/xiumin)
❇ Rating: nc-17
❇ Length: 12.4k words
❇ Warnings: alcohol, barebacking, crossdressing, exhibitionism, prostitution, restraints, voyeurism, slight cumplay, slight violence
❇ Author note: wow... lots of porn... i kind of... blurred the line between escort & prostitute but i hope u like it nevertheless :>
❇ Summary: when really, i've been craving for days to misbehave with you
Jongdae wakes up to the sound of shouting coming from down the hall. He's confused at the racket, the last tendrils of sleep muddling his mind, and he extricates himself from a still sleeping Sehun to dress himself quickly.
It feels like something ice-cold is sliding down his back as he remembers when one of Kyungsoo's clients had broken in at night. The noise gives him an eerie sense of déjà vu, and when Jongdae pads into the hall quietly he locks the door behind him.
The sound of raised voices is coming from the lobby, and to Jongdae's temporary relief, it sounds like Baekhyun and Minseok. Baekhyun is standing behind his desk, yelling loudly, and Jongdae has never seen him like this. Minseok is shrinking back from him on the chair in front of him, but his eyes are defiant.
Baekhyun doesn't stop when Jongdae walks in and freezes at the doorway. Baekhyun hisses, "You don't get it, do you? He's only using you, luring you away, because all he wants is his own fucktoy."
Shaking his head, Minseok runs his hand through his hair. "No, you're the one who doesn't understand. We're- he's not like that."
Laughing derisively, Baekhyun shakes his head. "Looks like he's fooled you, already. I'm just trying to- fuck, Minseok, I'm just trying to protect you. I know how they're all like; I can see through him clear as day."
Minseok turns away, taking a deep breath. "Lu Han hasn't fucked me at all during our last few bookings. We've just been talking and it's kind of nice, actually. Spending time with him."
The name is familiar to Jongdae. He's seen him around a few times, big eyes and upturned nose, one of Minseok's regulars. He starts to piece together this situation.
Baekhyun throws his hands in the air. "He's just tricking you. That's what you are to him, that's what all of you are: something pretty to fuck when they've got a couple won to spare. He doesn't care about you."
Jongdae doesn't realize he's walked over, stepping between the two of them, until his slap cracks over Baekhyun's cheekbone, hard and resounding. Baekhyun looks shocked, clutching his cheek with both hands. Jongdae's eyes are stinging as he says, "Don't fucking talk to Minseok like that."
It's funny, Jongdae's been called worse, but it hurts all the more to hear the words coming from Baekhyun's mouth. You would think someone who facilitated their work, who is so close to all of them, would understand and not say something like that.
Baekhyun looks horrified as he realizes what he's said. "Fuck, oh god. Minseok, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"
"But you said it," Jongdae says, cutting him off. Baekhyun closes his mouth and looks remorseful. It might be something that they all acknowledge at the end of the day, that they're selling their bodies for money, that they're just pretty little things to fuck on the side, but he doesn't need Baekhyun calling them out like this openly.
He doesn't feel bad for the way Baekhyun's face crumpled as he turns away, and instead turns around to see Minseok breathing shakily as he wipes at his eyes with the palms of his hands.
"Minseok? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, thanks." Minseok sits up straight, dropping his hands and nodding. He's trying to conceal it but Jongdae notices that his eyes are redder than usual and his entire frame is trembling slightly.
He helps Minseok get to his feet. "Alright, let's go back to your room. It's early. You should get some sleep."
Leaning against Minseok's door frame as Minseok gets himself settled in bed, Jongdae speaks up. "Lu Han seems pretty nice from what I've seen of him." He pauses, then continues. "And Baekhyun probably didn't mean it like that. Heat of the moment and shit. Don't beat yourself up over it."
Minseok props himself up and smiles weakly. "Thanks, Jongdae. Really."
"No problem." Jongdae waves it off and closes the door, returns to the lobby to stand in front of the desk and glare at Baekhyun.
Baekhyun looks as if he feels terrible but Jongdae isn't ready to forgive him just yet. He speaks up, "Jongdae, I'm-"
"I don't want to hear it, honestly." Jongdae's tone is clipped and cold but he doesn't particularly care about Baekhyun's feelings right now. "I just wanted to ask who I've got booked for the afternoon slot."
Baekhyun nods, flipping open his planner with jerky movements. "It's Jongin again, all the way until morning, like last time."
So soon, but Jongdae had almost expected it from the way Jongin had left the day before. He frowns and turns away. "Alright."
Sehun is wavering hesitantly in the hallway when Jongdae gets back. "Hyung? What happened?"
"Minseok and Baekhyun had an argument, it seems. You should go back to you room and sleep some more, maybe visit Minseok and see how he's feeling."
Jongdae walks into his room, feeling tired and drained. He just wants to sleep until Jongin gets here, so he collapses into bed, burying himself under the covers.
He's jostled awake when someone slips into bed with him. Jongin grins at him sheepishly and Jongdae curses in his mind. Fuck, he's overslept, he isn't dressed in anything, and he's an absolute mess.
"Sorry for not being ready. Oh god, I overslept, sorry," Jongdae blurts out in apology.
He makes to get out of bed to change into something more suitable but Jongin holds him back down. "Hey, it's okay. You looked so peaceful, sleeping like that, and I didn't want to wake you."
Jongin blushes as he says those words and Jongdae is flattered. He kind of doesn't know what to say. Most clients would be annoyed that they were losing time. He tries to recover, so he settles down in Jongin's lap and curls his hands into the hair at the nape of Jongin’s head. "I'm awake now."
Gentle seems like the way to go for Jongin, so Jongdae tilts his head and presses their lips together, swallowing Jongin's gasp of surprise. His lips are plush and soft underneath Jongdae's and Jongdae lightly runs his tongue at the seams. He brushes his fingertips under the hem of Jongin's shirt, smoothing against his skin, but pauses when Jongin shakes his head.
"I don't really want to do anything today... could we just talk?" He looks uncertain at Jongdae's surprised face, but Jongdae quickly schools it away and nods, even though he's confused underneath.
"Of course, anything," he says. Jongin's the one buying his time, after all.
Jongin pulls him close and rests his head on Jongdae's shoulder. "You know I'm a singer, right?"
Inhaling his scent, Jongdae nods. He had done his homework after their first meeting and researched Kim Jongin, better known by his stage name Kai. A member of an idol group under some big company, rising fast in fame.
"It's not... singing isn't really my thing. I'm not very good at it."
Jongdae protests, leaning back to look at Jongin. "I think you're pretty great."
Laughing, Jongin continues. "Thanks but... not really. I was always a dancer. I just wanted to dance. And this is the only way, you know?"
Jongdae doesn't point out that there are probably hundreds of other options for a dancer, but instead nods and goes along with it. He strokes his hands through Jongin's hair, tugging on the strands as Jongin keeps on talking.
"It's a lot of pressure, having to sing, because it's not exactly what I'm meant for."
Oh, but what he wouldn’t give to sing on a stage like that, Jongdae thinks ruefully.
"Of course, the commentary is always vicious," Jongin adds. Jongdae can imagine, being exposed like that, every movement scrutinized as his flaws get picked out one by one. It sounds terrible and he shudders, suddenly feeling like he has to protect Jongin.
He offers a bit of advice. "You could think of it as being a means to an end. Like, if I work hard at singing, I can dance the way I've always dreamed of. A sort of reward system, if you will."
Jongin listens, nodding, and Jongdae can tell that he takes his words to heart. It's a nice feeling, having someone be an open ear for Jongdae, instead of the other way around, so he finds himself continuing to talk.
"Besides, it's not a bad life at all," he teases. "Having all those fangirls must be nice."
"Oh, no. God, no." Jongin shakes his head. "I think it looks glamorous, like we're packaged all nicely, but it's really not."
Jongdae fiddles with the collar of Jongin's shirt and taps his arm. "Yeah?"
"I've just been feeling sick of it recently. I feel like a puppet, getting jerked around, or something. There's more to me than what these people are seeing."
Before Jongdae can stop himself, he's agreeing. "Yeah, definitely. I hate that feeling." He ducks his head when he realizes what he's said; Jongin has somehow gotten him to slip up.
Jongin looks interested though, his arms pausing from where they're resting on Jongdae's waist. "It must be the same for you guys, huh? Shit, sorry if I've offended you, wow, I'm-"
Shushing him, Jongdae cups his face, smiling at him to reassure him. "No, you're fine. I'm not offended, I hear worse things all the time."
Jongin resembles a kicked puppy and nuzzles into Jongdae's neck. "Really, I am. I feel so bad now."
"It's cool. Stop apologizing." Jongin's such a polite kid, Jongdae thinks. Sweet and a little awkward, in fact, he's surprised that the industry hasn't worked it out of him. This little heart-to-heart was a bit unexpected, but Jongdae finds that he doesn't mind.
"Thanks for talking to me, I know it's not what you usually do."
Jongdae laughs as Jongin blushes. "I'm not complaining,” Jongdae says. “This is a nice change; you're a nice change." His mouth is running away with his thoughts again, the words spilling before he can hold them back. He panics, but Jongin just smiles brightly.
"Thank you. You're not what I expected either, to be honest."
"Yeah? What did you expect?"
"I don't know... Someone more... Uh."
Jongdae flicks his chest. "Don't worry about offending me. I know what you're about to say, anyways. Someone more... sex oriented?" he says tactfully.
Blushing again, Jongin squirms. "Kind of... I like you a lot though."
He's cute and Jongdae finds his heart filling up with something warm, so he lets himself kiss his cheek. "I like you too, kid." He tugs Jongin down. "Do you just want to sleep?"
"Yes, please," Jongin replies all muffled, his words buried against Jongdae's neck.
₩
The next time they have an appointment, Jongdae is surprised when Baekhyun tells him to meet Jongin downstairs at the lobby. He’s wandering around, confused, when someone sneaks up behind him and places their hands on his shoulders.
Jongdae turns around and is startled to see Jongin grinning at him. “Hey,” Jongin says.
“Hello. What are we doing here?” Jongdae replies. The ‘outside’ is left unsaid. Jongdae rarely has clients that wish to spend time with him outside of the bedroom, most of them needing him to play the part of a boyfriend or lover. It doesn’t appear as if Jongin has anything formal planned; he’s dressed down in a crewneck and jeans and a pair of shades even though they’re indoors. “What’s with the shades?”
Jongin tilts his sunglasses down. “Idol, remember? I’m in disguise right now.”
And now it comes to Jongdae’s mind that Jongin is a celebrity and they shouldn’t be spending time like this, no matter how clandestine. He shudders to think of the repercussions if Jongin is caught with a male escort. Jongdae normally wouldn’t speak up against the client but this is dangerous for Jongin, so he says cautiously, “Are you sure we should be doing this?”
“It’ll be okay.” Jongin looks incredibly shy as he says, “I actually wanted to take you to my dance studio to watch me practice.”
Jongdae is dumbfounded for a second, so he just nods mutely. Leading the way through the hotel lobby, Jongin takes him to a car parked outside. It’s nothing fancy, a nondescript grey KIA, but the windows are tinted and there’s a partition between the driver and the passenger seat.
Jongin relaxes against the seat as he gets in, Jongdae climbing in after him. Jongdae’s been fucked in a car before, so he wonders if that’s the case now. It doesn’t make sense to him when they arrive at their destination and Jongin still hasn’t made a move.
The studio is large and airy, floor-length mirrors stretching across three walls. Jongdae sits against one side, leaning back against the mirror. "So what am I doing here?"
Jongin is in the corner, fiddling with a large stereo set. "I kind of wanted to show you my dancing?"
"But what do I do?" Jongdae says, confused.
"Just watch. Critique if you want."
The music starts and oh, oh. He feels like he is enchanted as he watches Jongin dance to the music, a smooth R&B track. Jongdae never knew people could move like that. The feeling is almost exhilarating as he watches and he’s not even the one that’s dancing. Jongin is so fluid and graceful and when he finally stops, Jongdae feels like he’s waking up from a dream.
Jongin stops in front of him shyly. “So? How was I?”
Jongdae blinks, still dazed. “Wow. Um.”
Laughing, Jongin takes a seat next to him. “Not bad, huh?”
“I could say that, yeah.” Jongdae says. He’s recovered enough to make a joke but he still watches Jongin now and tries to reconcile the quiet boy with the one he just saw dancing-if you could call that dancing. It almost seemed to transcend movement.
This time, when Jongin stands back up, he reaches a hand out to pull Jongdae up with him. “You should dance, too.”
Jongdae backs off, waving his hands sheepishly. “Oh, no. I can’t, really.”
“Anyone can dance.” Not letting go of his hand, Jongin drags him over to the stereo where he picks an upbeat track on his iPod.
The music reverberates through the studio but Jongdae shakes his head and tries to get Jongin to release him. “Honestly, it’s a nightmare. I actually can’t.”
“Please? I want to see,” Jongin says. He pouts exaggeratedly at Jongdae and Jongdae closes his eyes, pushing him away.
“No thanks.”
Jongin has gotten ahold of his arm now, clinging to him. “I’m the only one here, you don’t have to be embarrassed or anything.”
He’s going to regret this later, but Jongdae lets out a long breath, sighing. “Fine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Jongdae squeezes his eyes tightly shut and starts swaying to the music, bopping his head to the beat. There’s a reason he never tried to get work as a stripper or pole-dancer, and he usually outright refuses giving lap dances to clients. That kind of thing is better left for Minseok or Sehun. Even Kyungsoo is better at dancing than him. It’s not that he’s bad, per se, he just can’t achieve that kind of level of feeling when he’s trying to move. Call it the groove, if you will, but Jongdae doesn’t have it.
But Jongin is watching him and Jongdae doesn’t want to disappoint. The music has a heavy beat and it’s good, actually. Jongdae isn’t that familiar with pop music but it’s catchy and he finds himself moving more freely. His eyes are still shut and he’s getting more into it, until his foot slips and then he’s falling, his eyes flying open.
Jongin’s arms lock around him before he can plant his face on the floor. “Fuck, be careful.”
It’s so embarrassing and Jongdae turns away, burying his face in Jongin’s shoulder. “Oh my god. That was-shit.”
Jongin sits down again, dragging Jongdae down with him. Jongdae still refuses to look up at him; he can hear Jongin laughing.
“Are you okay?” Jongin asks, between breaths.
“No, I am not.” Jongdae frowns into Jongin’s shirt. Jongin smells so good and maybe he should just stay here forever. He’s certainly too embarrassed to show his face. “I almost fell. This is why I don’t dance. I can’t believe you made me do it.”
“You weren’t that bad.” Jongin is still giggling, giggling for fuck’s sake.
“Stop lying to me.”
Jongin’s hand is stroking through his hair and if feels nice. “Maybe just a little.”
Jongdae sits back to glare at him. “You’re supposed to support me. Not make fun of me. God, I can’t believe I almost fell.”
“Hunch your shoulders a little less,” Jongin advises. He pulls Jongdae close to whisper in his ear, “I still want you to dance for me, though.”
And now Jongdae remembers. He remembers that Jongin is just another client and he’s let himself go today. Jongdae almost forgot he was just doing his job, and this is dangerous territory. Clearing his throat, he stands up, pulling his phone out to check the time. This time slot is almost finished. When he glances back up at Jongin, he can tell that Jongin’s face has dropped too.
“I should get going,” Jongdae says lightly.
Jongin stands up, rubbing his arm uncertainly. “Do you need a ride?”
“I’m fine, thanks.”
When Jongdae gets back to their floor, he pauses in the hallway to crouch down and bury his head between his legs. He’s a professional, he’s learned that it’s dangerous to have any kind of emotional attachment with the clients. He know’s better and they’re just that, precisely-clients. People that pay for his time, and in return he does whatever they want.
₩
Jongdae knows he's screwed when he finds himself thinking about Jongin even as he's servicing other clients. Chanyeol or Zitao could be balls-deep and he'd still have an image of Jongin blushing imprinted on his retinas.
He tries to convince himself that what he feels is just affection, just a need to take care of Jongin and make sure he's safe. Sehun has dubbed it the "mother hen" effect and always makes fun of him for it, but here he is searching up "Kai" on Naver and glowering at some hurtful comments on a news article.
Jongin has become his most frequent client, booking long slots practically every other day, so of course he's bound to feel some sort of attachment. It's only natural, he convinces himself. They spend a lot of the time just talking, fucking when Jongin initiates it. Jongdae doesn't mind; it helps him fool himself into thinking they have something more tangible between them. He's making a mistake, he tries to remind himself, but Jongin is lovely and warm and Jongdae finds himself longing for his company.
It's with a sense of foreboding when he takes the news that Minseok is leaving them. None of them explicitly talk about it but he knows what it's about, knows that Minseok has fallen in love with one of his clients. Love doesn't really happen for them but who is he to curse Minseok out of jealousy and perhaps a bit of wistfulness?
Baekhyun is in a shitty mood for weeks, introducing a new kid to the three of them left after Minseok is gone. Taeyong is three years younger than Jongdae, his smoldering look distracting others, but Jongdae can tell he's just a nervous child trying to compensate.
"Another baby chick for you." Sehun clucks his tongue at him. Jongdae tells him to shove off but he's already there to comfort Taeyong after his first dealing with a vicious client.
Somehow, he finds himself telling all of this to Jongin. They talk so much, about Jongin's life, about Jongdae's. In some moments, Jongdae believes that maybe, maybe, there's something real in their relationship, but his paycheck with the earnings detailed out in Baekhyun's neat lettering always serve to bring him down to Earth.
One night, after they've cleaned up and Jongdae is lying with his head pooled on Jongin's chest, he hears Jongin mutter sleepily, "I love you, Jongdae."
He freezes. Perhaps he's heard wrong. There's blood rushing in his ears and fuck, just fuck. He's screwed up, it's such a rookie mistake, so novice of him to let Jongin in like this. Jongin's too close to the fire now and Jongdae doesn't want to see him burn.
The next morning, he's cold, especially when Jongin kisses him goodbye. Jongin looks a little confused at Jongdae's behavior and his hurt expression is tearing at Jongdae, but Jongdae refuses to be swayed.
It's only after Jongin has left that Jongdae marches to Baekhyun's desk and blurts out before he can stop himself, "Take Jongin off my client list."
Baekhyun looks shocked. "Wait, what? Why? Did anything happen?"
"Just take him off. Give him to someone else or turn him away completely, I don't care." Jongdae refuses to give any explanation and instead presses his lips together in a thin line. It'll be better in the long run, he tells himself in his head. Jongin will be better off not falling in love with... with a fucking prostitute.
Jongdae retreats to his room, eyes squeezed shut as he strips and walks into the shower. If he lets a few tears escape-well, it isn’t noticeable under the spray of water.
He carries on, like he always does. Jongdae lets them fuck him hard, begs for them to just numb everything and loses himself in his other clients. Jongin had never been given any way of contact with Jongdae himself, but Baekhyun makes sure to let Jongdae know when he's called in, all worried and a little heartbroken. After a while, Jongdae just tells him to fuck off, and instead Baekhyun gives him meaningful looks. Jongdae doesn't care. He's fine; he's allowed to turn away clients if they make him uncomfortable.
₩
One of his clients, a politician, has paid for an entire night out with Jongdae. Junmyeon needs a pretty partner to show off at yet another charity gala, and he reserves Jongdae. They brainstorm a fake history for their relationship, planning out what they're going to say so Jongdae can play the part of the perfect boyfriend for Junmyeon.
Decked out in a well-fitted, midnight suit and shiny leather loafers, Jongdae hangs on his arm as they whirl through the large ballroom full of people.
To anyone looking on, Jongdae plays the part of an affectionate lover, and his stunning make up today has more than a few people gazing enviously at Junmyeon. Junmyeon soaks it up, he can tell, feeding on their attention. Jongdae finds it rather vain but a job is a job so he leans in close when he's talking and exchanges small smiles as they chat.
As the night drags on, Junmyeon introduces Jongdae to what appears to be half of the attendees. His hand hurts from all the hand-shaking and his face hurts from smiling so much, but the compliments showered on Junmyeon for landing such a pretty boyfriend is enough to keep him going.
Junmyeon has slipped into the restroom and Jongdae is leaning against the wall in the hallway, staring at his shoes, when someone steps in front of him. He looks up, about to apologize for standing in their way, but the person in front of him has his words freezing on his tongue.
"Well, hello," Jongin says.
"Hello," Jongdae greets as calmly as possible, but he's filled up with turmoil. Fuck, what are the chances? How is he going to get out of this?
The smile Jongin gives him is sad and it breaks Jongdae's heart. "You look good today. I saw you with that guy, is this another job of yours?"
Jongdae nods stiffly. Jongin knows that this is his job and even now, he trusts him enough not to spill. He speaks up, "It was nice seeing you, Kim Jongin, but I-"
"Hold on." Even Jongin looks surprised at his own outburst. "Can we just talk?"
Laughing without humor, Jongdae says, "We do a lot of that."
Jongin keeps on going. "I just want to know, why did you push me away? Why, when I thought we were-"
"Please, stop," Jongdae says tightly. "You were my client so I listened to you, nothing more, nothing less. You paid so I delivered." It's hurting him to say this but he just needs Jongin to understand.
"That's not-that's honestly not how I see it."
Jongdae doesn't recognize his own sneer. "Sorry to shatter your little daydream, but hey, this is me. I let people fuck me for money. You paid? I'll let you fuck me. That guy I was with earlier? I'll probably let him fuck me later. Your father decides to walk in with some money? He'll get to fuck me too. What you don't seem to-"
Shoving him against the wall, Jongin kisses him hard, shutting Jongdae up. It's hot and oh, maybe Jongdae missed this a bit. Jongin's tongue is sucking on his before he realizes what he's done. Fuck, Junmyeon could be coming out any second now.
Jongin's hands are comforting against his back and finally Jongin breaks away to say softly, "Jongdae, listen to me. I like spending time with you, alright? I won't say the word 'love' right now, not ever if it makes you so uncomfortable, but I think you're someone amazing. We could never fuck and I'd still be in love-” Jongin cuts himself off and takes a deep breath. ”I'd still like you as much, okay?"
Slightly dazed at Jongin's words, Jongdae can only nod. It's then that Junmyeon steps out of the bathroom, and shit. Jongdae feels like he's backed up into a corner.
But Junmyeon just laughs. "Jongin is a friend of mine.”
Jongdae looks between the two of them, a little dumbfounded, and Jongin shrugs sheepishly. “You refused to talk to me and Baekhyun started hanging up whenever I called.”
“I’ll leave you two, see you around. And good luck!" Junmyeon winks at Jongin and leaves.
Jongin looks at Jongdae, as if he can’t believe the Jongdae is right there in front of him, and suddenly he leans in to kiss him. His lips are so soft and almost familiar at this point, and Jongdae freezes before cautiously kissing him back. Finally, finally, Jongdae allows himself to hope, to wish a little. Maybe he can stop all of this once and for all; maybe he can have Jongin. Would someone interested in a fucktoy really go to such lengths to do this? Jongdae stops struggling against what he actually wants and just gives in. Maybe this can work.
He pulls a worried-looking Jongin close. "It'd be a shame if we never fucked, though."
₩
Jongdae tumbles into bed, pulling Jongin along with him. It's heady, this feeling of exhilaration, and he allows it to take him over. His face hurts from smiling; Jongin is here next to him.
It might as well be the last time in this bed, and Jongdae pulls Jongin down on top of him to kiss all slow and sweet. There's something different today compared to all their precious times, because this is something Jongdae is doing out of his own choice. He wants to sleep with Jongin, so it's going to happen.
Jongdae just lets himself go as Jongin clumsily spreads lube on his fingers, slipping his middle finger in. It's still tight and he succumbs to the pleasure, moaning and writhing against the sheets. The way that Jongin is going about it is different, too. Maybe it's the look in his eyes but the slow pumping of his finger is taking Jongdae to a different headspace.
Jongin works in another finger as Jongdae's rim flutters around him, scissoring him open as Jongdae makes small, soft noises in the back of his throat. He's fucking Jongdae with three, loosening up his tight ass as he anticipates the warm feeling around his cock, when Jongdae pulls him down. "I'm ready, just now, please."
Fitting the slick head of his length with Jongdae's rim, Jongin presses in slowly, gasping as his ass envelopes him all hot and tight. He kisses Jongdae when he's all the way in deep, brushes his lips all over his collarbone and revels in the feeling.
Jongdae pulls his legs up, hooking them over Jongin's shoulders and giving himself to Jongin so completely that Jongin moans at the thought. The shift allows him to ream into Jongdae fast and deep on every thrust, fucking him open even as he peppers kisses on his neck.
It seems like marking Jongdae is giving Jongin a slight buzz. He's never been allowed to before, a stinging reminder that Jongdae was something to be shared, but it's different now and it feels so good, being allowed to do this.
Jongdae thinks he might be in love with this feeling, in love with Jongin. Nothing could compare to this newfound sense of belonging. He's all Jongin's now, Jongin's and Jongin's alone. Maybe this is why everyone finds sex so special, he thinks drily, head knocking back as Jongin shifts for a new angle.
It's all too much, and when Jongin brings his hand down to stroke Jongdae with little flicks of his wrist, pounding into him hard enough that the bed shakes, Jongdae comes harder than ever, blood crashing in his eardrums.
When Jongin comes inside of him, he clenches his ass even as Jongin pulls out to keep it inside. It's filthy and dripping, slick down his thighs, but he finds that he doesn't mind the feeling. Not when it gives him a sense of belonging that he's never had before.
Jongin allows him to cuddle in close, wrapping their legs together even as they're both sweaty messes.
Sighing, Jongdae says to the ceiling, "So, how am I going to explain this to Baekhyun tomorrow?"
Jongin laughs breathlessly. "We'll get him to understand. I don't think I could share you, now."
After a while, when Jongdae thinks that Jongin has fallen asleep, he leans over to whisper in his ear, something he's finally saying for the first time. "I think I love you."
❇ Pairing: chen/kai (chanyeol/chen, chen/sehun, slight chen/suho, slight chen/tao, slight chen/liyin, slight luhan/xiumin)
❇ Rating: nc-17
❇ Length: 12.4k words
❇ Warnings: alcohol, barebacking, crossdressing, exhibitionism, prostitution, restraints, voyeurism, slight cumplay, slight violence
❇ Author note: wow... lots of porn... i kind of... blurred the line between escort & prostitute but i hope u like it nevertheless :>
❇ Summary: when really, i've been craving for days to misbehave with you
Jongdae wakes up to the sound of shouting coming from down the hall. He's confused at the racket, the last tendrils of sleep muddling his mind, and he extricates himself from a still sleeping Sehun to dress himself quickly.
It feels like something ice-cold is sliding down his back as he remembers when one of Kyungsoo's clients had broken in at night. The noise gives him an eerie sense of déjà vu, and when Jongdae pads into the hall quietly he locks the door behind him.
The sound of raised voices is coming from the lobby, and to Jongdae's temporary relief, it sounds like Baekhyun and Minseok. Baekhyun is standing behind his desk, yelling loudly, and Jongdae has never seen him like this. Minseok is shrinking back from him on the chair in front of him, but his eyes are defiant.
Baekhyun doesn't stop when Jongdae walks in and freezes at the doorway. Baekhyun hisses, "You don't get it, do you? He's only using you, luring you away, because all he wants is his own fucktoy."
Shaking his head, Minseok runs his hand through his hair. "No, you're the one who doesn't understand. We're- he's not like that."
Laughing derisively, Baekhyun shakes his head. "Looks like he's fooled you, already. I'm just trying to- fuck, Minseok, I'm just trying to protect you. I know how they're all like; I can see through him clear as day."
Minseok turns away, taking a deep breath. "Lu Han hasn't fucked me at all during our last few bookings. We've just been talking and it's kind of nice, actually. Spending time with him."
The name is familiar to Jongdae. He's seen him around a few times, big eyes and upturned nose, one of Minseok's regulars. He starts to piece together this situation.
Baekhyun throws his hands in the air. "He's just tricking you. That's what you are to him, that's what all of you are: something pretty to fuck when they've got a couple won to spare. He doesn't care about you."
Jongdae doesn't realize he's walked over, stepping between the two of them, until his slap cracks over Baekhyun's cheekbone, hard and resounding. Baekhyun looks shocked, clutching his cheek with both hands. Jongdae's eyes are stinging as he says, "Don't fucking talk to Minseok like that."
It's funny, Jongdae's been called worse, but it hurts all the more to hear the words coming from Baekhyun's mouth. You would think someone who facilitated their work, who is so close to all of them, would understand and not say something like that.
Baekhyun looks horrified as he realizes what he's said. "Fuck, oh god. Minseok, I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"
"But you said it," Jongdae says, cutting him off. Baekhyun closes his mouth and looks remorseful. It might be something that they all acknowledge at the end of the day, that they're selling their bodies for money, that they're just pretty little things to fuck on the side, but he doesn't need Baekhyun calling them out like this openly.
He doesn't feel bad for the way Baekhyun's face crumpled as he turns away, and instead turns around to see Minseok breathing shakily as he wipes at his eyes with the palms of his hands.
"Minseok? Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, thanks." Minseok sits up straight, dropping his hands and nodding. He's trying to conceal it but Jongdae notices that his eyes are redder than usual and his entire frame is trembling slightly.
He helps Minseok get to his feet. "Alright, let's go back to your room. It's early. You should get some sleep."
Leaning against Minseok's door frame as Minseok gets himself settled in bed, Jongdae speaks up. "Lu Han seems pretty nice from what I've seen of him." He pauses, then continues. "And Baekhyun probably didn't mean it like that. Heat of the moment and shit. Don't beat yourself up over it."
Minseok props himself up and smiles weakly. "Thanks, Jongdae. Really."
"No problem." Jongdae waves it off and closes the door, returns to the lobby to stand in front of the desk and glare at Baekhyun.
Baekhyun looks as if he feels terrible but Jongdae isn't ready to forgive him just yet. He speaks up, "Jongdae, I'm-"
"I don't want to hear it, honestly." Jongdae's tone is clipped and cold but he doesn't particularly care about Baekhyun's feelings right now. "I just wanted to ask who I've got booked for the afternoon slot."
Baekhyun nods, flipping open his planner with jerky movements. "It's Jongin again, all the way until morning, like last time."
So soon, but Jongdae had almost expected it from the way Jongin had left the day before. He frowns and turns away. "Alright."
Sehun is wavering hesitantly in the hallway when Jongdae gets back. "Hyung? What happened?"
"Minseok and Baekhyun had an argument, it seems. You should go back to you room and sleep some more, maybe visit Minseok and see how he's feeling."
Jongdae walks into his room, feeling tired and drained. He just wants to sleep until Jongin gets here, so he collapses into bed, burying himself under the covers.
He's jostled awake when someone slips into bed with him. Jongin grins at him sheepishly and Jongdae curses in his mind. Fuck, he's overslept, he isn't dressed in anything, and he's an absolute mess.
"Sorry for not being ready. Oh god, I overslept, sorry," Jongdae blurts out in apology.
He makes to get out of bed to change into something more suitable but Jongin holds him back down. "Hey, it's okay. You looked so peaceful, sleeping like that, and I didn't want to wake you."
Jongin blushes as he says those words and Jongdae is flattered. He kind of doesn't know what to say. Most clients would be annoyed that they were losing time. He tries to recover, so he settles down in Jongin's lap and curls his hands into the hair at the nape of Jongin’s head. "I'm awake now."
Gentle seems like the way to go for Jongin, so Jongdae tilts his head and presses their lips together, swallowing Jongin's gasp of surprise. His lips are plush and soft underneath Jongdae's and Jongdae lightly runs his tongue at the seams. He brushes his fingertips under the hem of Jongin's shirt, smoothing against his skin, but pauses when Jongin shakes his head.
"I don't really want to do anything today... could we just talk?" He looks uncertain at Jongdae's surprised face, but Jongdae quickly schools it away and nods, even though he's confused underneath.
"Of course, anything," he says. Jongin's the one buying his time, after all.
Jongin pulls him close and rests his head on Jongdae's shoulder. "You know I'm a singer, right?"
Inhaling his scent, Jongdae nods. He had done his homework after their first meeting and researched Kim Jongin, better known by his stage name Kai. A member of an idol group under some big company, rising fast in fame.
"It's not... singing isn't really my thing. I'm not very good at it."
Jongdae protests, leaning back to look at Jongin. "I think you're pretty great."
Laughing, Jongin continues. "Thanks but... not really. I was always a dancer. I just wanted to dance. And this is the only way, you know?"
Jongdae doesn't point out that there are probably hundreds of other options for a dancer, but instead nods and goes along with it. He strokes his hands through Jongin's hair, tugging on the strands as Jongin keeps on talking.
"It's a lot of pressure, having to sing, because it's not exactly what I'm meant for."
Oh, but what he wouldn’t give to sing on a stage like that, Jongdae thinks ruefully.
"Of course, the commentary is always vicious," Jongin adds. Jongdae can imagine, being exposed like that, every movement scrutinized as his flaws get picked out one by one. It sounds terrible and he shudders, suddenly feeling like he has to protect Jongin.
He offers a bit of advice. "You could think of it as being a means to an end. Like, if I work hard at singing, I can dance the way I've always dreamed of. A sort of reward system, if you will."
Jongin listens, nodding, and Jongdae can tell that he takes his words to heart. It's a nice feeling, having someone be an open ear for Jongdae, instead of the other way around, so he finds himself continuing to talk.
"Besides, it's not a bad life at all," he teases. "Having all those fangirls must be nice."
"Oh, no. God, no." Jongin shakes his head. "I think it looks glamorous, like we're packaged all nicely, but it's really not."
Jongdae fiddles with the collar of Jongin's shirt and taps his arm. "Yeah?"
"I've just been feeling sick of it recently. I feel like a puppet, getting jerked around, or something. There's more to me than what these people are seeing."
Before Jongdae can stop himself, he's agreeing. "Yeah, definitely. I hate that feeling." He ducks his head when he realizes what he's said; Jongin has somehow gotten him to slip up.
Jongin looks interested though, his arms pausing from where they're resting on Jongdae's waist. "It must be the same for you guys, huh? Shit, sorry if I've offended you, wow, I'm-"
Shushing him, Jongdae cups his face, smiling at him to reassure him. "No, you're fine. I'm not offended, I hear worse things all the time."
Jongin resembles a kicked puppy and nuzzles into Jongdae's neck. "Really, I am. I feel so bad now."
"It's cool. Stop apologizing." Jongin's such a polite kid, Jongdae thinks. Sweet and a little awkward, in fact, he's surprised that the industry hasn't worked it out of him. This little heart-to-heart was a bit unexpected, but Jongdae finds that he doesn't mind.
"Thanks for talking to me, I know it's not what you usually do."
Jongdae laughs as Jongin blushes. "I'm not complaining,” Jongdae says. “This is a nice change; you're a nice change." His mouth is running away with his thoughts again, the words spilling before he can hold them back. He panics, but Jongin just smiles brightly.
"Thank you. You're not what I expected either, to be honest."
"Yeah? What did you expect?"
"I don't know... Someone more... Uh."
Jongdae flicks his chest. "Don't worry about offending me. I know what you're about to say, anyways. Someone more... sex oriented?" he says tactfully.
Blushing again, Jongin squirms. "Kind of... I like you a lot though."
He's cute and Jongdae finds his heart filling up with something warm, so he lets himself kiss his cheek. "I like you too, kid." He tugs Jongin down. "Do you just want to sleep?"
"Yes, please," Jongin replies all muffled, his words buried against Jongdae's neck.
₩
The next time they have an appointment, Jongdae is surprised when Baekhyun tells him to meet Jongin downstairs at the lobby. He’s wandering around, confused, when someone sneaks up behind him and places their hands on his shoulders.
Jongdae turns around and is startled to see Jongin grinning at him. “Hey,” Jongin says.
“Hello. What are we doing here?” Jongdae replies. The ‘outside’ is left unsaid. Jongdae rarely has clients that wish to spend time with him outside of the bedroom, most of them needing him to play the part of a boyfriend or lover. It doesn’t appear as if Jongin has anything formal planned; he’s dressed down in a crewneck and jeans and a pair of shades even though they’re indoors. “What’s with the shades?”
Jongin tilts his sunglasses down. “Idol, remember? I’m in disguise right now.”
And now it comes to Jongdae’s mind that Jongin is a celebrity and they shouldn’t be spending time like this, no matter how clandestine. He shudders to think of the repercussions if Jongin is caught with a male escort. Jongdae normally wouldn’t speak up against the client but this is dangerous for Jongin, so he says cautiously, “Are you sure we should be doing this?”
“It’ll be okay.” Jongin looks incredibly shy as he says, “I actually wanted to take you to my dance studio to watch me practice.”
Jongdae is dumbfounded for a second, so he just nods mutely. Leading the way through the hotel lobby, Jongin takes him to a car parked outside. It’s nothing fancy, a nondescript grey KIA, but the windows are tinted and there’s a partition between the driver and the passenger seat.
Jongin relaxes against the seat as he gets in, Jongdae climbing in after him. Jongdae’s been fucked in a car before, so he wonders if that’s the case now. It doesn’t make sense to him when they arrive at their destination and Jongin still hasn’t made a move.
The studio is large and airy, floor-length mirrors stretching across three walls. Jongdae sits against one side, leaning back against the mirror. "So what am I doing here?"
Jongin is in the corner, fiddling with a large stereo set. "I kind of wanted to show you my dancing?"
"But what do I do?" Jongdae says, confused.
"Just watch. Critique if you want."
The music starts and oh, oh. He feels like he is enchanted as he watches Jongin dance to the music, a smooth R&B track. Jongdae never knew people could move like that. The feeling is almost exhilarating as he watches and he’s not even the one that’s dancing. Jongin is so fluid and graceful and when he finally stops, Jongdae feels like he’s waking up from a dream.
Jongin stops in front of him shyly. “So? How was I?”
Jongdae blinks, still dazed. “Wow. Um.”
Laughing, Jongin takes a seat next to him. “Not bad, huh?”
“I could say that, yeah.” Jongdae says. He’s recovered enough to make a joke but he still watches Jongin now and tries to reconcile the quiet boy with the one he just saw dancing-if you could call that dancing. It almost seemed to transcend movement.
This time, when Jongin stands back up, he reaches a hand out to pull Jongdae up with him. “You should dance, too.”
Jongdae backs off, waving his hands sheepishly. “Oh, no. I can’t, really.”
“Anyone can dance.” Not letting go of his hand, Jongin drags him over to the stereo where he picks an upbeat track on his iPod.
The music reverberates through the studio but Jongdae shakes his head and tries to get Jongin to release him. “Honestly, it’s a nightmare. I actually can’t.”
“Please? I want to see,” Jongin says. He pouts exaggeratedly at Jongdae and Jongdae closes his eyes, pushing him away.
“No thanks.”
Jongin has gotten ahold of his arm now, clinging to him. “I’m the only one here, you don’t have to be embarrassed or anything.”
He’s going to regret this later, but Jongdae lets out a long breath, sighing. “Fine. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
Jongdae squeezes his eyes tightly shut and starts swaying to the music, bopping his head to the beat. There’s a reason he never tried to get work as a stripper or pole-dancer, and he usually outright refuses giving lap dances to clients. That kind of thing is better left for Minseok or Sehun. Even Kyungsoo is better at dancing than him. It’s not that he’s bad, per se, he just can’t achieve that kind of level of feeling when he’s trying to move. Call it the groove, if you will, but Jongdae doesn’t have it.
But Jongin is watching him and Jongdae doesn’t want to disappoint. The music has a heavy beat and it’s good, actually. Jongdae isn’t that familiar with pop music but it’s catchy and he finds himself moving more freely. His eyes are still shut and he’s getting more into it, until his foot slips and then he’s falling, his eyes flying open.
Jongin’s arms lock around him before he can plant his face on the floor. “Fuck, be careful.”
It’s so embarrassing and Jongdae turns away, burying his face in Jongin’s shoulder. “Oh my god. That was-shit.”
Jongin sits down again, dragging Jongdae down with him. Jongdae still refuses to look up at him; he can hear Jongin laughing.
“Are you okay?” Jongin asks, between breaths.
“No, I am not.” Jongdae frowns into Jongin’s shirt. Jongin smells so good and maybe he should just stay here forever. He’s certainly too embarrassed to show his face. “I almost fell. This is why I don’t dance. I can’t believe you made me do it.”
“You weren’t that bad.” Jongin is still giggling, giggling for fuck’s sake.
“Stop lying to me.”
Jongin’s hand is stroking through his hair and if feels nice. “Maybe just a little.”
Jongdae sits back to glare at him. “You’re supposed to support me. Not make fun of me. God, I can’t believe I almost fell.”
“Hunch your shoulders a little less,” Jongin advises. He pulls Jongdae close to whisper in his ear, “I still want you to dance for me, though.”
And now Jongdae remembers. He remembers that Jongin is just another client and he’s let himself go today. Jongdae almost forgot he was just doing his job, and this is dangerous territory. Clearing his throat, he stands up, pulling his phone out to check the time. This time slot is almost finished. When he glances back up at Jongin, he can tell that Jongin’s face has dropped too.
“I should get going,” Jongdae says lightly.
Jongin stands up, rubbing his arm uncertainly. “Do you need a ride?”
“I’m fine, thanks.”
When Jongdae gets back to their floor, he pauses in the hallway to crouch down and bury his head between his legs. He’s a professional, he’s learned that it’s dangerous to have any kind of emotional attachment with the clients. He know’s better and they’re just that, precisely-clients. People that pay for his time, and in return he does whatever they want.
₩
Jongdae knows he's screwed when he finds himself thinking about Jongin even as he's servicing other clients. Chanyeol or Zitao could be balls-deep and he'd still have an image of Jongin blushing imprinted on his retinas.
He tries to convince himself that what he feels is just affection, just a need to take care of Jongin and make sure he's safe. Sehun has dubbed it the "mother hen" effect and always makes fun of him for it, but here he is searching up "Kai" on Naver and glowering at some hurtful comments on a news article.
Jongin has become his most frequent client, booking long slots practically every other day, so of course he's bound to feel some sort of attachment. It's only natural, he convinces himself. They spend a lot of the time just talking, fucking when Jongin initiates it. Jongdae doesn't mind; it helps him fool himself into thinking they have something more tangible between them. He's making a mistake, he tries to remind himself, but Jongin is lovely and warm and Jongdae finds himself longing for his company.
It's with a sense of foreboding when he takes the news that Minseok is leaving them. None of them explicitly talk about it but he knows what it's about, knows that Minseok has fallen in love with one of his clients. Love doesn't really happen for them but who is he to curse Minseok out of jealousy and perhaps a bit of wistfulness?
Baekhyun is in a shitty mood for weeks, introducing a new kid to the three of them left after Minseok is gone. Taeyong is three years younger than Jongdae, his smoldering look distracting others, but Jongdae can tell he's just a nervous child trying to compensate.
"Another baby chick for you." Sehun clucks his tongue at him. Jongdae tells him to shove off but he's already there to comfort Taeyong after his first dealing with a vicious client.
Somehow, he finds himself telling all of this to Jongin. They talk so much, about Jongin's life, about Jongdae's. In some moments, Jongdae believes that maybe, maybe, there's something real in their relationship, but his paycheck with the earnings detailed out in Baekhyun's neat lettering always serve to bring him down to Earth.
One night, after they've cleaned up and Jongdae is lying with his head pooled on Jongin's chest, he hears Jongin mutter sleepily, "I love you, Jongdae."
He freezes. Perhaps he's heard wrong. There's blood rushing in his ears and fuck, just fuck. He's screwed up, it's such a rookie mistake, so novice of him to let Jongin in like this. Jongin's too close to the fire now and Jongdae doesn't want to see him burn.
The next morning, he's cold, especially when Jongin kisses him goodbye. Jongin looks a little confused at Jongdae's behavior and his hurt expression is tearing at Jongdae, but Jongdae refuses to be swayed.
It's only after Jongin has left that Jongdae marches to Baekhyun's desk and blurts out before he can stop himself, "Take Jongin off my client list."
Baekhyun looks shocked. "Wait, what? Why? Did anything happen?"
"Just take him off. Give him to someone else or turn him away completely, I don't care." Jongdae refuses to give any explanation and instead presses his lips together in a thin line. It'll be better in the long run, he tells himself in his head. Jongin will be better off not falling in love with... with a fucking prostitute.
Jongdae retreats to his room, eyes squeezed shut as he strips and walks into the shower. If he lets a few tears escape-well, it isn’t noticeable under the spray of water.
He carries on, like he always does. Jongdae lets them fuck him hard, begs for them to just numb everything and loses himself in his other clients. Jongin had never been given any way of contact with Jongdae himself, but Baekhyun makes sure to let Jongdae know when he's called in, all worried and a little heartbroken. After a while, Jongdae just tells him to fuck off, and instead Baekhyun gives him meaningful looks. Jongdae doesn't care. He's fine; he's allowed to turn away clients if they make him uncomfortable.
₩
One of his clients, a politician, has paid for an entire night out with Jongdae. Junmyeon needs a pretty partner to show off at yet another charity gala, and he reserves Jongdae. They brainstorm a fake history for their relationship, planning out what they're going to say so Jongdae can play the part of the perfect boyfriend for Junmyeon.
Decked out in a well-fitted, midnight suit and shiny leather loafers, Jongdae hangs on his arm as they whirl through the large ballroom full of people.
To anyone looking on, Jongdae plays the part of an affectionate lover, and his stunning make up today has more than a few people gazing enviously at Junmyeon. Junmyeon soaks it up, he can tell, feeding on their attention. Jongdae finds it rather vain but a job is a job so he leans in close when he's talking and exchanges small smiles as they chat.
As the night drags on, Junmyeon introduces Jongdae to what appears to be half of the attendees. His hand hurts from all the hand-shaking and his face hurts from smiling so much, but the compliments showered on Junmyeon for landing such a pretty boyfriend is enough to keep him going.
Junmyeon has slipped into the restroom and Jongdae is leaning against the wall in the hallway, staring at his shoes, when someone steps in front of him. He looks up, about to apologize for standing in their way, but the person in front of him has his words freezing on his tongue.
"Well, hello," Jongin says.
"Hello," Jongdae greets as calmly as possible, but he's filled up with turmoil. Fuck, what are the chances? How is he going to get out of this?
The smile Jongin gives him is sad and it breaks Jongdae's heart. "You look good today. I saw you with that guy, is this another job of yours?"
Jongdae nods stiffly. Jongin knows that this is his job and even now, he trusts him enough not to spill. He speaks up, "It was nice seeing you, Kim Jongin, but I-"
"Hold on." Even Jongin looks surprised at his own outburst. "Can we just talk?"
Laughing without humor, Jongdae says, "We do a lot of that."
Jongin keeps on going. "I just want to know, why did you push me away? Why, when I thought we were-"
"Please, stop," Jongdae says tightly. "You were my client so I listened to you, nothing more, nothing less. You paid so I delivered." It's hurting him to say this but he just needs Jongin to understand.
"That's not-that's honestly not how I see it."
Jongdae doesn't recognize his own sneer. "Sorry to shatter your little daydream, but hey, this is me. I let people fuck me for money. You paid? I'll let you fuck me. That guy I was with earlier? I'll probably let him fuck me later. Your father decides to walk in with some money? He'll get to fuck me too. What you don't seem to-"
Shoving him against the wall, Jongin kisses him hard, shutting Jongdae up. It's hot and oh, maybe Jongdae missed this a bit. Jongin's tongue is sucking on his before he realizes what he's done. Fuck, Junmyeon could be coming out any second now.
Jongin's hands are comforting against his back and finally Jongin breaks away to say softly, "Jongdae, listen to me. I like spending time with you, alright? I won't say the word 'love' right now, not ever if it makes you so uncomfortable, but I think you're someone amazing. We could never fuck and I'd still be in love-” Jongin cuts himself off and takes a deep breath. ”I'd still like you as much, okay?"
Slightly dazed at Jongin's words, Jongdae can only nod. It's then that Junmyeon steps out of the bathroom, and shit. Jongdae feels like he's backed up into a corner.
But Junmyeon just laughs. "Jongin is a friend of mine.”
Jongdae looks between the two of them, a little dumbfounded, and Jongin shrugs sheepishly. “You refused to talk to me and Baekhyun started hanging up whenever I called.”
“I’ll leave you two, see you around. And good luck!" Junmyeon winks at Jongin and leaves.
Jongin looks at Jongdae, as if he can’t believe the Jongdae is right there in front of him, and suddenly he leans in to kiss him. His lips are so soft and almost familiar at this point, and Jongdae freezes before cautiously kissing him back. Finally, finally, Jongdae allows himself to hope, to wish a little. Maybe he can stop all of this once and for all; maybe he can have Jongin. Would someone interested in a fucktoy really go to such lengths to do this? Jongdae stops struggling against what he actually wants and just gives in. Maybe this can work.
He pulls a worried-looking Jongin close. "It'd be a shame if we never fucked, though."
₩
Jongdae tumbles into bed, pulling Jongin along with him. It's heady, this feeling of exhilaration, and he allows it to take him over. His face hurts from smiling; Jongin is here next to him.
It might as well be the last time in this bed, and Jongdae pulls Jongin down on top of him to kiss all slow and sweet. There's something different today compared to all their precious times, because this is something Jongdae is doing out of his own choice. He wants to sleep with Jongin, so it's going to happen.
Jongdae just lets himself go as Jongin clumsily spreads lube on his fingers, slipping his middle finger in. It's still tight and he succumbs to the pleasure, moaning and writhing against the sheets. The way that Jongin is going about it is different, too. Maybe it's the look in his eyes but the slow pumping of his finger is taking Jongdae to a different headspace.
Jongin works in another finger as Jongdae's rim flutters around him, scissoring him open as Jongdae makes small, soft noises in the back of his throat. He's fucking Jongdae with three, loosening up his tight ass as he anticipates the warm feeling around his cock, when Jongdae pulls him down. "I'm ready, just now, please."
Fitting the slick head of his length with Jongdae's rim, Jongin presses in slowly, gasping as his ass envelopes him all hot and tight. He kisses Jongdae when he's all the way in deep, brushes his lips all over his collarbone and revels in the feeling.
Jongdae pulls his legs up, hooking them over Jongin's shoulders and giving himself to Jongin so completely that Jongin moans at the thought. The shift allows him to ream into Jongdae fast and deep on every thrust, fucking him open even as he peppers kisses on his neck.
It seems like marking Jongdae is giving Jongin a slight buzz. He's never been allowed to before, a stinging reminder that Jongdae was something to be shared, but it's different now and it feels so good, being allowed to do this.
Jongdae thinks he might be in love with this feeling, in love with Jongin. Nothing could compare to this newfound sense of belonging. He's all Jongin's now, Jongin's and Jongin's alone. Maybe this is why everyone finds sex so special, he thinks drily, head knocking back as Jongin shifts for a new angle.
It's all too much, and when Jongin brings his hand down to stroke Jongdae with little flicks of his wrist, pounding into him hard enough that the bed shakes, Jongdae comes harder than ever, blood crashing in his eardrums.
When Jongin comes inside of him, he clenches his ass even as Jongin pulls out to keep it inside. It's filthy and dripping, slick down his thighs, but he finds that he doesn't mind the feeling. Not when it gives him a sense of belonging that he's never had before.
Jongin allows him to cuddle in close, wrapping their legs together even as they're both sweaty messes.
Sighing, Jongdae says to the ceiling, "So, how am I going to explain this to Baekhyun tomorrow?"
Jongin laughs breathlessly. "We'll get him to understand. I don't think I could share you, now."
After a while, when Jongdae thinks that Jongin has fallen asleep, he leans over to whisper in his ear, something he's finally saying for the first time. "I think I love you."