Transcript of J. Michael Stracynski's remarks at Phoenix Comicon
Please feel free to correct me or fill in what I couldn't quite get.
See it here: http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/2013/05/25/Babylon-5-Creator-Fulfills-Promise-To-Late-Star-At-Phoenix-ComiCon-Panel?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter
Physical issues that led to psychological issues. In terms of, along with delusional behaviors, it’s the kind of thing where you see messages to yourself in newspapers and magazines, or you hear voices or are sure you’re being survielled by the - those kinds of things.
And Michael was having issues and he was aware of it, we were aware of it. And ______
That’s what they wanted to do and wanted to talk to him about it. They said basically it can be addressed through medication, through treatment but we were in the middle of shooting, well, the last third of shooting. And nothing we could do about it. And I thought about (coughs and maybe drinks water) I could write him out for a couple of episodes but I couldn’t writer him out long enough to get the type of help he really needed. And I was prepared to shut down the show to make sure he got the help he needed.
And Michael came to my office and we talked about this. And Michael said ‘Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it. Don’t let me be the reason that these people lose their jobs and that this show falls. Let me try, let me try and get by.’ And those three words, ‘let me try’ are kinda like ‘give me a chance’ and when I hear that, I have to back the play. Always have, always will.
And he soldiered on under a burden that no one else knew about and he got through that season like a __________ by his fingernails. And I could see him suffering and I could see him fighting every day to stay controlled, stay focused and again, the raw naked courage of the man to keep fighting and we finished the season and no one knew.
And he knew he wasn’t going to be able to come back for a second season and I knew he couldn’t take the strain. I knew he needed to get the help he needed.
We agreed to part ways at that point. I said ‘I will bring you back to finish up your arc of your character. We will shoot a short scene now that I can drop in at some appropriate point saying you’re going to come back, giving a message to Garibaldi. Don’t worry about a thing….______It’s taken care of.’
He spent next x number of months, his family came to the fore, his friends came to the fore, my wife at the time Kathryn Drennan was a huge help to him, Sandra Bruckner, who later on ran the B5 Fan Club was a huge help, a therapist(?) and they were working through various meds(methods?) with him, you know, to get him on target and gradually it began to work, it began to take root. It was a hard, hard, hard process.
Uh, The first convention we had to do after that was I-Con in Long Island, I’m pretty sure it was I-Con and ____ Michael was at the point to be there for Michael and I was seeing him right before he went in and he was pale from the medication and his hands trembled but he was determined to go up and what was amazing was that I saw him walk into a room with you, with the fans, the color came back his cheeks, the confidence came back. You, the group, sustained him and empowered him and brought him to life in ways no medicine ever did. (There is a sound as if someone is crying here.)
Funny small story - on the way back from the convention, we were driving down the freeway. In the van was myself, Kathryn, Michael and we heard what sounded like a motorcycle ____(?), kind of like an obnoxious motorcycle ____. I look to the left, I don’t see a motorcycle. I look to the right, I don’t see a motorcycle. Behind us, nothing. Then I looked forward and I see two airplane wheels coming down in front of the windshield - this was a really bad sign. And the driver puts the brakes on and this plane, was in an emergency landing, shoots right past us and lands on the freeway, a small private plane. It was like six inches from taking out the car. And maybe that was why Michael was thinking in terms of what he did because when _________ he was again strong and he was there it was repaired and got through it and we were talking about the whole situation and that’s when he said what he said.
And in the years that followed, you know, he tried to get his career going. There was good days, bad days, on meds, off med… it took its toll, it took a toll, but his family was there for him and his friends were there for him and finally he left us a little while ago and end of that story.
But I wanted you to know from what he’s always said to me, what I’ve seen with my own eyes how much he loved you guys and how much you mattered to him and how much you sustained him. I’m not sure he would have made it as far as he did if not for you. In the interim he did do a couple of ____ and he always came back revived and better and stronger because of you and my hope is that the people who are with us on this program are with us a thousand years from now. I don’t know if that will be the case. So as you move amongst them as well as celebrating what has been done and what is being done, take a moment and look at them as Andreas looked at us. Be generous with your kindness, with your words, with your affection. Remember them and when you go home, take that with you and look at your friends and family as Andreas looked at us. Hold those moments because flesh is fickle, flesh goes in a second. But love persists. That love Michael had for you and you had for Michael still persists. Andreas had for you, and Rick and Jeff.
And all of us and we thank you for that and that’s all I wanted to say.
See it here: http://www.breitbart.com/Big-Hollywood/2013/05/25/Babylon-5-Creator-Fulfills-Promise-To-Late-Star-At-Phoenix-ComiCon-Panel?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter
Physical issues that led to psychological issues. In terms of, along with delusional behaviors, it’s the kind of thing where you see messages to yourself in newspapers and magazines, or you hear voices or are sure you’re being survielled by the - those kinds of things.
And Michael was having issues and he was aware of it, we were aware of it. And ______
That’s what they wanted to do and wanted to talk to him about it. They said basically it can be addressed through medication, through treatment but we were in the middle of shooting, well, the last third of shooting. And nothing we could do about it. And I thought about (coughs and maybe drinks water) I could write him out for a couple of episodes but I couldn’t writer him out long enough to get the type of help he really needed. And I was prepared to shut down the show to make sure he got the help he needed.
And Michael came to my office and we talked about this. And Michael said ‘Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it. Don’t let me be the reason that these people lose their jobs and that this show falls. Let me try, let me try and get by.’ And those three words, ‘let me try’ are kinda like ‘give me a chance’ and when I hear that, I have to back the play. Always have, always will.
And he soldiered on under a burden that no one else knew about and he got through that season like a __________ by his fingernails. And I could see him suffering and I could see him fighting every day to stay controlled, stay focused and again, the raw naked courage of the man to keep fighting and we finished the season and no one knew.
And he knew he wasn’t going to be able to come back for a second season and I knew he couldn’t take the strain. I knew he needed to get the help he needed.
We agreed to part ways at that point. I said ‘I will bring you back to finish up your arc of your character. We will shoot a short scene now that I can drop in at some appropriate point saying you’re going to come back, giving a message to Garibaldi. Don’t worry about a thing….______It’s taken care of.’
He spent next x number of months, his family came to the fore, his friends came to the fore, my wife at the time Kathryn Drennan was a huge help to him, Sandra Bruckner, who later on ran the B5 Fan Club was a huge help, a therapist(?) and they were working through various meds(methods?) with him, you know, to get him on target and gradually it began to work, it began to take root. It was a hard, hard, hard process.
Uh, The first convention we had to do after that was I-Con in Long Island, I’m pretty sure it was I-Con and ____ Michael was at the point to be there for Michael and I was seeing him right before he went in and he was pale from the medication and his hands trembled but he was determined to go up and what was amazing was that I saw him walk into a room with you, with the fans, the color came back his cheeks, the confidence came back. You, the group, sustained him and empowered him and brought him to life in ways no medicine ever did. (There is a sound as if someone is crying here.)
Funny small story - on the way back from the convention, we were driving down the freeway. In the van was myself, Kathryn, Michael and we heard what sounded like a motorcycle ____(?), kind of like an obnoxious motorcycle ____. I look to the left, I don’t see a motorcycle. I look to the right, I don’t see a motorcycle. Behind us, nothing. Then I looked forward and I see two airplane wheels coming down in front of the windshield - this was a really bad sign. And the driver puts the brakes on and this plane, was in an emergency landing, shoots right past us and lands on the freeway, a small private plane. It was like six inches from taking out the car. And maybe that was why Michael was thinking in terms of what he did because when _________ he was again strong and he was there it was repaired and got through it and we were talking about the whole situation and that’s when he said what he said.
And in the years that followed, you know, he tried to get his career going. There was good days, bad days, on meds, off med… it took its toll, it took a toll, but his family was there for him and his friends were there for him and finally he left us a little while ago and end of that story.
But I wanted you to know from what he’s always said to me, what I’ve seen with my own eyes how much he loved you guys and how much you mattered to him and how much you sustained him. I’m not sure he would have made it as far as he did if not for you. In the interim he did do a couple of ____ and he always came back revived and better and stronger because of you and my hope is that the people who are with us on this program are with us a thousand years from now. I don’t know if that will be the case. So as you move amongst them as well as celebrating what has been done and what is being done, take a moment and look at them as Andreas looked at us. Be generous with your kindness, with your words, with your affection. Remember them and when you go home, take that with you and look at your friends and family as Andreas looked at us. Hold those moments because flesh is fickle, flesh goes in a second. But love persists. That love Michael had for you and you had for Michael still persists. Andreas had for you, and Rick and Jeff.
And all of us and we thank you for that and that’s all I wanted to say.