My first short story
This story is admittedly a big piece of crap. It's dashed out and there are some serious problems with it - half the people who read it didn't understand what was going on at all at the end. I am not planning to get this published or anything, so I feel quite safe in putting it up here. Hopefully someday I'll be able to create something that is almost unrecognizable compared to this!
Here's my story, entitled "Quiet Corner" -
High above the water the lone man sat. It was late, and across the channel, lights were just blinking on. From his perch he leaned over, awkwardly digging around in a dirty knapsack for his pack of cigarettes. He raised his head and looked out over the water and smoked.
This was a daily routine for him. The man had come every Friday night for the past few months to this spot over what the local teenagers had dubbed “Quiet Corner” to sit and smoke and think, without being bothered. Unbeknownst to him, today he was not alone. Behind concrete pillars and bushes, behind parked cars they watched him and waited.
The crunch of gravel alerted the man, and he looked up, ash dripping from the end of his cigarette. Standing at the other end of the low cement divider he sat upon was a girl. “Hi Mike,” she said quietly.
Mike took another drag, turned and flicked his smoke out over the water, watching it as it arced down, imagining it sizzling in the dark water below. He breathed out. “Emma.”
She stepped forwards a little unsteadily, gravel skittering around her high heels, clasping a tiny purse under her arm. As she walked she held her dress up so she could carefully place each foot on the uneven ground. Eventually she gave up and sat on the divider, just close enough to speak to Mike comfortably. Emma ran a hand through her hair, looking away from him, evidently thinking. Presently, she raised her head to speak.
“So! It’s been a little while…what’s new with you, hon?”
Mike looked irritated. “Well, now that I’m no longer working, and single, I have a lot of free time on my hands.”
She winced and looked at her shoes. “I’m sorry.”
“What’s there to be sorry about? What happened, happened. Like always, I’m the one to blame.” He went for another cigarette.
Emma frowned. “Hey…I never said it was you. Things happen. People change.”
Mike pulled the pack of smokes out and set it next to his lighter on the edge of the divider. “I don’t want to argue about it anymore with you”, he said.
He jerked his head up suddenly, scrutinizing a row of bushes across the open lot in front of them.
“Hey”, the girl said, waving an arm at him. “Hey. Talk to me.”
Mike snorted and switched his attention back to his smokes. “Nothing to talk about.” He lit one and sucked on it, the tip glowing brightly in the twilight.
“Listen. I want to be your friend still. We can still do that…be friends, right? We can go do stuff still, I can help you-”
He cut her off. “Don’t make me laugh. Friends? What a cruel joke that is. Don’t you know how that feels?” He gave a piece of gravel in front of him a kick with the tip of his boot, and it sailed off through the air until it hit a hubcap with a ping.
“I dunno,” she said softly. “But we could try. I just want to see you more often. Haven’t seen you in months.”
Emma slipped off her shoes and inched down the divider towards him. “How about next weekend? We can go to the Bowl-a-rama with my…with Bob.”
Mike grunted. “I hate bowling, and I hate Bob too.”
“Then we could go for a drive. Just the two of us.”
Mike crossed his legs and leaned back against a pillar with a sigh, and didn’t respond. He took a long drag. Emma changed the subject.
“When did you take up smoking again? You quit.”
Mike blew smoke at her. “Why should you care? You don’t have to live with it anymore.”
Emma frowned. “But you were doing so well. You hadn’t smoked in months…a year even!”
Mike sat up, and began counting on his fingers angrily. “Look. Number one-it’s none of your business. I smoke because I want to smoke. This is my life now. And you keep your opinions to yourself. Number two, why are we even having this conversation? I don’t want to talk to you and you shouldn’t even be here.”
Mike looked up at Emma suddenly. “Hey. Don’t get too close to me.” He flicked his butt at her and she recoiled away from it as if it were the plague. “Come on!” she said, raising her voice sharply. But then she realized herself and continued, in a calmer tone. “Mike…come on. I came out here because…because I wanted to see you.”
But Mike wasn’t listening to her. He hoisted himself up on the divider, hanging onto the pillar with one hand. “Hey. Hey, did you hear that?”
Emma cocked her head, listening intently. After a minute she looked back at him. “Hear what? I didn’t hear nothing.”
Mike didn’t move from his position. “It sounded…it was like footsteps. Someone else is here.”
“Don’t be stupid. I didn’t hear anything. It’s the middle of summer, why would there be any kids up here?”
“Go and look.”
“I’m not going to go walking around in the middle of the night. Look at my shoes, for god’s sakes.” She waved a heeled foot at him. “You’re just trying to change the topic. So childish. Listen to me for a minute.”
Mike snorted and sank back down to his previous position. “I said I didn’t want to talk to you.”
“Well, you’re talking now, and I came all the way out here, so listen to me. Please?” She scootched over once, holding out a hand pleadingly.
“Fine. But let’s talk about something I want to talk about.”
Emma smiled and sat back. “All right hon.” She waited.
Mike though for a moment. “Was it because of the money? And be honest.”
Emma sighed, and ran her hands through her hair, pulling it away from her face. “No…yes. Not exactly. Don’t be angry with me.”
“I knew it.”
She contemplated for a moment, then spoke. “It wasn’t the money. It was…it was about being stuck. Stuck in a life with no escape, and no change.” She realized what she was saying and quickly added “But…that’s why I did it, you see! We needed to kick start things…get things moving. Change.”
“I’m tired, Emma. I didn’t want change…I had my life, and I was…happy. I was happy with the life I had. And you were happy too. We didn’t have everything we wanted, but we had each other. And that wasn’t enough for you.”
He began to rave, and rant, and yell, and as he did bushes rustled and figures crept closer around the two, just out of sight. Silent shadows scurried from car to car, surrounding the couple. One of them leaned against a car, and the frame shifted with a dull thud.
Mike looked up, and stopped mid-sentence, his arm still held out in an angry gesture. He looked over at Emma, and then realized what was happening. “You bitch!” he snarled at her, then threw his other leg over the divider. Emma dove forward, grasping one of his nearby arms. His other arm smacked her in the forehead as they wrestled on the edge, and her vision blurred. She felt herself being pulled up onto the divider, and her vision filled with the dizzying view of dark water below.
He would have brought them both over if it had not been for her damn shoes. Her leg had swung around and her pointed toe had caught in a hole in between sections of concrete on the divider, and they hung there for a moment. All around them the dark figures loomed, men in uniforms, swarming over them both. And then they were back over the divider again, face down in the sharp gravel.
One of the officers helped her up. She stood back with him and she watched the others subdue Mike, numbly. He was staring up at her, an animal look of rage on his face.
Only after he was dragged away did she allow herself to break down and weep.
- Uni
Here's my story, entitled "Quiet Corner" -
High above the water the lone man sat. It was late, and across the channel, lights were just blinking on. From his perch he leaned over, awkwardly digging around in a dirty knapsack for his pack of cigarettes. He raised his head and looked out over the water and smoked.
This was a daily routine for him. The man had come every Friday night for the past few months to this spot over what the local teenagers had dubbed “Quiet Corner” to sit and smoke and think, without being bothered. Unbeknownst to him, today he was not alone. Behind concrete pillars and bushes, behind parked cars they watched him and waited.
The crunch of gravel alerted the man, and he looked up, ash dripping from the end of his cigarette. Standing at the other end of the low cement divider he sat upon was a girl. “Hi Mike,” she said quietly.
Mike took another drag, turned and flicked his smoke out over the water, watching it as it arced down, imagining it sizzling in the dark water below. He breathed out. “Emma.”
She stepped forwards a little unsteadily, gravel skittering around her high heels, clasping a tiny purse under her arm. As she walked she held her dress up so she could carefully place each foot on the uneven ground. Eventually she gave up and sat on the divider, just close enough to speak to Mike comfortably. Emma ran a hand through her hair, looking away from him, evidently thinking. Presently, she raised her head to speak.
“So! It’s been a little while…what’s new with you, hon?”
Mike looked irritated. “Well, now that I’m no longer working, and single, I have a lot of free time on my hands.”
She winced and looked at her shoes. “I’m sorry.”
“What’s there to be sorry about? What happened, happened. Like always, I’m the one to blame.” He went for another cigarette.
Emma frowned. “Hey…I never said it was you. Things happen. People change.”
Mike pulled the pack of smokes out and set it next to his lighter on the edge of the divider. “I don’t want to argue about it anymore with you”, he said.
He jerked his head up suddenly, scrutinizing a row of bushes across the open lot in front of them.
“Hey”, the girl said, waving an arm at him. “Hey. Talk to me.”
Mike snorted and switched his attention back to his smokes. “Nothing to talk about.” He lit one and sucked on it, the tip glowing brightly in the twilight.
“Listen. I want to be your friend still. We can still do that…be friends, right? We can go do stuff still, I can help you-”
He cut her off. “Don’t make me laugh. Friends? What a cruel joke that is. Don’t you know how that feels?” He gave a piece of gravel in front of him a kick with the tip of his boot, and it sailed off through the air until it hit a hubcap with a ping.
“I dunno,” she said softly. “But we could try. I just want to see you more often. Haven’t seen you in months.”
Emma slipped off her shoes and inched down the divider towards him. “How about next weekend? We can go to the Bowl-a-rama with my…with Bob.”
Mike grunted. “I hate bowling, and I hate Bob too.”
“Then we could go for a drive. Just the two of us.”
Mike crossed his legs and leaned back against a pillar with a sigh, and didn’t respond. He took a long drag. Emma changed the subject.
“When did you take up smoking again? You quit.”
Mike blew smoke at her. “Why should you care? You don’t have to live with it anymore.”
Emma frowned. “But you were doing so well. You hadn’t smoked in months…a year even!”
Mike sat up, and began counting on his fingers angrily. “Look. Number one-it’s none of your business. I smoke because I want to smoke. This is my life now. And you keep your opinions to yourself. Number two, why are we even having this conversation? I don’t want to talk to you and you shouldn’t even be here.”
Mike looked up at Emma suddenly. “Hey. Don’t get too close to me.” He flicked his butt at her and she recoiled away from it as if it were the plague. “Come on!” she said, raising her voice sharply. But then she realized herself and continued, in a calmer tone. “Mike…come on. I came out here because…because I wanted to see you.”
But Mike wasn’t listening to her. He hoisted himself up on the divider, hanging onto the pillar with one hand. “Hey. Hey, did you hear that?”
Emma cocked her head, listening intently. After a minute she looked back at him. “Hear what? I didn’t hear nothing.”
Mike didn’t move from his position. “It sounded…it was like footsteps. Someone else is here.”
“Don’t be stupid. I didn’t hear anything. It’s the middle of summer, why would there be any kids up here?”
“Go and look.”
“I’m not going to go walking around in the middle of the night. Look at my shoes, for god’s sakes.” She waved a heeled foot at him. “You’re just trying to change the topic. So childish. Listen to me for a minute.”
Mike snorted and sank back down to his previous position. “I said I didn’t want to talk to you.”
“Well, you’re talking now, and I came all the way out here, so listen to me. Please?” She scootched over once, holding out a hand pleadingly.
“Fine. But let’s talk about something I want to talk about.”
Emma smiled and sat back. “All right hon.” She waited.
Mike though for a moment. “Was it because of the money? And be honest.”
Emma sighed, and ran her hands through her hair, pulling it away from her face. “No…yes. Not exactly. Don’t be angry with me.”
“I knew it.”
She contemplated for a moment, then spoke. “It wasn’t the money. It was…it was about being stuck. Stuck in a life with no escape, and no change.” She realized what she was saying and quickly added “But…that’s why I did it, you see! We needed to kick start things…get things moving. Change.”
“I’m tired, Emma. I didn’t want change…I had my life, and I was…happy. I was happy with the life I had. And you were happy too. We didn’t have everything we wanted, but we had each other. And that wasn’t enough for you.”
He began to rave, and rant, and yell, and as he did bushes rustled and figures crept closer around the two, just out of sight. Silent shadows scurried from car to car, surrounding the couple. One of them leaned against a car, and the frame shifted with a dull thud.
Mike looked up, and stopped mid-sentence, his arm still held out in an angry gesture. He looked over at Emma, and then realized what was happening. “You bitch!” he snarled at her, then threw his other leg over the divider. Emma dove forward, grasping one of his nearby arms. His other arm smacked her in the forehead as they wrestled on the edge, and her vision blurred. She felt herself being pulled up onto the divider, and her vision filled with the dizzying view of dark water below.
He would have brought them both over if it had not been for her damn shoes. Her leg had swung around and her pointed toe had caught in a hole in between sections of concrete on the divider, and they hung there for a moment. All around them the dark figures loomed, men in uniforms, swarming over them both. And then they were back over the divider again, face down in the sharp gravel.
One of the officers helped her up. She stood back with him and she watched the others subdue Mike, numbly. He was staring up at her, an animal look of rage on his face.
Only after he was dragged away did she allow herself to break down and weep.
- Uni