(no subject)
Ahhhhhh!!!!! I feel like I’m on the roller coaster from Hell! All I want is for everything to be ok! I don’t understand why it can’t? Why is it always an issue when it’s in my life? I really like Phil isn’t that normal to like boys. Then why in my little bubble of shit does the chaos emanate from it like helium seeping out of a balloon? I don’t know what to do any more it seems like no matter what I do I always make someone unhappy! Page is beyond pissed off at me for The Phil and Jenn episode. Brandon is driving me absolutely nuts with his overly touchy feelyness. I can’t handle it anymore but I don’t want to hurt his feelings. I feel like I’m in the middle of a battlefield trying desperately to stay neutral but how? Eventually even the United States had to pick a side. I can’t sit on the side lines and do nothing but at the same time I don’t want to do anything. Life is too complicated and stressful right now. School is coming to a final closing but it’s too soon the unresolved issues aren’t going to just vanish into thin air and puff away! Grrrr! I hate Tim. Why am I even still thinking about the boy who was never worth my time? Because for some unknown reason I’m an idiot! He has a new girlfriend even though he told me “He would never date again because he was going to be a hermit on the top of a mountain” I was nothing to him! EVER! I was never good enough and it hurts it hurts to think about him it hurts to dwell on him I don’t know anymore it doesn’t matter how I feel because one way or another no matter what I do or how hard I try it all gets Fucked up!