Calm after the storm
I feel I lost it last night so sorry bryn and ollie, even thought you don't know about this journal he he.
I couldn't help it thought. Was in a conversation with Bryn and John and later Gem and Ollie. And sex came up, no suprise who bought it up. It jsut made me so angry, to think that hes so selfish and that he'll openly admite sex rules his world and he can't keep his trousers on. He made me a total wreck because of his non-existant heart. He took it too far and terrified me forever. He made me to scared to ever love anyone again. And he jsut doesn't care.. he'll openly say infront of me he loves sex and needs it
and to think he tried to defend himself by using andrew as an example. what he thinks they have in common i dont know, because i can assure you andrew has a heart for 1!
he doesnt shout at me and make my life a misery for not being ready yet, for not wanting to rush and to want to savour love. and john no he is not sex obsessed! just you
Ollie calmed me down last night though. and through telling brynny off i ealised you cant leave love, you have to chase it. So my new outlook is that things can't be any worse. and that i can't let myself be scared by the past and i know i wont ever be in that situation again, and i know how i feel about andrew, and i'm not going to let that go to waste!
i have never felt so close to someone after 3 weeks. ok so we havent seen each other for a while right now. it makes me so miserable not being with him, but when we are ogether its jsut like another world, its jsut us and nothing could ever ruin that, its only when we are apart i have doubts. and thats mostly because he deserves better than me. I dnt think ive ever fallen in lvoe so fast either, ive tried hold back and not let myself get that deep, but i couldnt help it. everyday away from him makes me want him more, makes me like him more, and makes me want us to be forever. Of course i know it won't last forever, but im focusing on the present. and the present is amazing
I couldn't help it thought. Was in a conversation with Bryn and John and later Gem and Ollie. And sex came up, no suprise who bought it up. It jsut made me so angry, to think that hes so selfish and that he'll openly admite sex rules his world and he can't keep his trousers on. He made me a total wreck because of his non-existant heart. He took it too far and terrified me forever. He made me to scared to ever love anyone again. And he jsut doesn't care.. he'll openly say infront of me he loves sex and needs it
and to think he tried to defend himself by using andrew as an example. what he thinks they have in common i dont know, because i can assure you andrew has a heart for 1!
he doesnt shout at me and make my life a misery for not being ready yet, for not wanting to rush and to want to savour love. and john no he is not sex obsessed! just you
Ollie calmed me down last night though. and through telling brynny off i ealised you cant leave love, you have to chase it. So my new outlook is that things can't be any worse. and that i can't let myself be scared by the past and i know i wont ever be in that situation again, and i know how i feel about andrew, and i'm not going to let that go to waste!
i have never felt so close to someone after 3 weeks. ok so we havent seen each other for a while right now. it makes me so miserable not being with him, but when we are ogether its jsut like another world, its jsut us and nothing could ever ruin that, its only when we are apart i have doubts. and thats mostly because he deserves better than me. I dnt think ive ever fallen in lvoe so fast either, ive tried hold back and not let myself get that deep, but i couldnt help it. everyday away from him makes me want him more, makes me like him more, and makes me want us to be forever. Of course i know it won't last forever, but im focusing on the present. and the present is amazing