(no subject)
It seems my own neurosis is getting the better of me. I somehow keep determining that I'm an unjust man.
Cynicism tells me it's just that my ego hasn't had a good stroking in some time, which may or may not be true.
I sit here, staring at my monitor for several hours out of the day, 18 since I last slept. I ignore my duties and responsibilities. 'I'll get to it' I tell myself. How interesting since I've always been the guy who said "If you have to do something, then do it. Who knows if you'll be able to again." Let us not forget that I am doing absolutely nothing while I sit here. I played Battlefield for a good 4 hours before deciding that I was bored of it. The rest was me staring.
I'm attempting to deal with an inner conflict. One that I don't really wish to talk about (due to it's minuscule significance). It seems that the logical side is winning...but that is because the opposing team is showing no signs of a fight.
I secretly wish for turbulence. I don't want it to be a permanent thing, just to come and go whenever I need to re-focus. I don't know if it works for the rest of the populace but chaos seems to help me center.
My duty as an animal has been fulfilled, that just leaves my duty as a conscious and moral human.
Sweet cancer that is thought.
Cynicism tells me it's just that my ego hasn't had a good stroking in some time, which may or may not be true.
I sit here, staring at my monitor for several hours out of the day, 18 since I last slept. I ignore my duties and responsibilities. 'I'll get to it' I tell myself. How interesting since I've always been the guy who said "If you have to do something, then do it. Who knows if you'll be able to again." Let us not forget that I am doing absolutely nothing while I sit here. I played Battlefield for a good 4 hours before deciding that I was bored of it. The rest was me staring.
I'm attempting to deal with an inner conflict. One that I don't really wish to talk about (due to it's minuscule significance). It seems that the logical side is winning...but that is because the opposing team is showing no signs of a fight.
I secretly wish for turbulence. I don't want it to be a permanent thing, just to come and go whenever I need to re-focus. I don't know if it works for the rest of the populace but chaos seems to help me center.
My duty as an animal has been fulfilled, that just leaves my duty as a conscious and moral human.
Sweet cancer that is thought.