SO. YES. I'M POSTING, WTF.
Yup. I'm posting. And it's kinda exciting and a big deal, because I've had a journal since forever and never posted. But recently mrsmfitzgerald and lissie_pissie and raebb4ever have inspiiiired me. So here I am, WOO. GET READY TO BE BOREDENTERTAINED.
First off, there's some habits of mine that you should know about.
1. I like to repeat vowels/consonants in words when I feel like it. Like thisssss. When I do this, it usually means I'm pronouncing that word in my head and think it sounds cool. Or I just randomly felt like doing it. Yeah. I'm lame. Shut up. XD
2. I joke around. A lot. And I have a really unusual sense of humor. As in, I think huge pigeons are hilarious (lmao, I just have this image of an ENORMOUS pigeon waddling around on its scrawny little legs, flapping its tiny wings and running into trees and bushes because it's so big). I'll be sarcastic sometimes, and that can be hard to tell, but you'll catch on the more you read my stuff. Maybe I'll tease you sometimes, but only when you initiate it first by making fun of yourself. All teasing is non-serious and shouldn't be taken the wrong way. I'm a sensitive person, but even I know when to laugh at myself. Also, I like actually laughing out loud when I'm talking to people. So I'll tell you when that happens.
3. I like to ramble. Obviously. So just humor me.
4. I like making up words or using non-words that I didn't create myself. Like 'unignorable' and 'sextastic'.
5. I like using CAPS LOCK YES and runningcertainwordstogether and have run-on sentences. I do this sparingly, though. Sometimes. -shifty eyes-
6. I find amusement in using odd phrases, like 'burns my cake' (equivalent to 'pisses me off') and 'jerk-face'. I also like threatening violent acts on things that annoy me. Like if a bird bugged me, I'd say, "I WANTED TO PUNCH THAT BIRD IN THE FACE." Sometimes I switch it up and get really creative with my violent acts. "I WANTED TO SHOVE THAT BIRD IN A VAT OF REALLY BAD PUDDING." "I WANTED THAT BIRD TO FALL INTO A BLACK HOLE." "I WANTED TO PUT THAT BIRD IN A CRATE AND SEND IT TO CANADA." (No offense to Canada. It's just far away from me, relatively, so I'd obviously want to send that bird there. ...damn bird.)
7. I swear. Sometimes not much, sometimes a lot. When I'm excited, I swear a whole bunch. So be aware.
OK. COOL. Now that you know all that, I'mma tell a story to start us off. It's long, so to help you out, I put it in a cut.
So yesterday, as some of you know, I had to stay at this house because there was this wedding, and I had to babysit some kids if said kids didn't want to go to the reception. So I'm like, cool, I'll earn some extra money. I invited a friend. Good times. We watched Ocean's 11 (hee, it's better the second time around. AND OMG. I already told mrsmfitzgerald this- does anyone else think interaction between Daniel Ocean and Gregory House would be the BEST EVER? I DO. SOMEONE WRITE THAT CROSSOVER, 'K.).
But yeah. We were at that house from 4 PM to 11 PM. SEVEN FREAKIN' HOURS. AND NO KIDS SHOWED UP. SO NO MONEY. I was miffed. But it was kinda like the best time ever, though. I'll tell you about this one part.
So I let the dogs out, and this cat is meowing at me like it wants to go out too, so I'm like, "Aw, ok. What can go wrong?" and I let it out. Then I remember- cats can jump over stuff. So I go outside with the cat and just kinda watch it. Then it jumps onto this grill and then OVER THE FENCE. I'm like, "HOLYCRAPWHATNO." I'm tugging on the gate, but it's the like the WORST gate in the WORLD and won't budge. Yet I keep tugging on it and freaking out and calling out for my friend, but she doesn't hear me. I dive back inside the house and yell to my friend that I lost the cat, and finally she gets up from watching Rob & Big (funniest show ever, btw) and joins me outside.
She tries to get the gate open too and can't, so I'm like, "SCREW IT. I'M JUMPING THE FENCE." So, like the badass I am, I hop the fence (it kinda hurt, but I had a cat to save), and sprint after this cat, who ends up chilling by a bush, gnawing on leaves. I pick it up and hold it far away from my body because I'm afraid it'll be ticked at me for picking it up. Which it was. So I'm scrambling to get back to the house, holding this squirming cat who is SO ready to whip around and claw my face, and my friend is laughing too hard to open the gate, so we do a kind of relay race and I pass her the cat. She runs inside and drops it off, and we both are laughing and are so relieved.
And then the lady who owns the house called later, telling us the cat gets out of the yard all the time. It always comes back.
Yeah. I know. And that's not even scratching the surface of all that went down. There was also this kitten that had a meow that sounded like a little child saying, "Mommy?" which is SO FREAKIN' CREEPY when you didn't even know these people HAD a kitten. They also had a dark basement that had MOUNTED DEER HEADS EVERYWHERE, HOLY SHIT, scariest place EVER. My friend and I had a discussion on how if you pulled on one of their antlers, a secret entrance would totally open and reveal gold, jewels, or probably more cats BECAUSE THEY HAD SO FREAKIN' MANY. I swear, every half hour I would discover a new pet. At last count they had eight. Five cats and three dogs. CRAZY.
To get back at the people who owned the house for making me stay there for no reason, I ate all their poptarts. THAT'LL TEACH 'EM. JERK-FACES.
Haha. That was fun. Now, if I could only figure out how in the hell to get a better layout and spruce things up around here.
First off, there's some habits of mine that you should know about.
1. I like to repeat vowels/consonants in words when I feel like it. Like thisssss. When I do this, it usually means I'm pronouncing that word in my head and think it sounds cool. Or I just randomly felt like doing it. Yeah. I'm lame. Shut up. XD
2. I joke around. A lot. And I have a really unusual sense of humor. As in, I think huge pigeons are hilarious (lmao, I just have this image of an ENORMOUS pigeon waddling around on its scrawny little legs, flapping its tiny wings and running into trees and bushes because it's so big). I'll be sarcastic sometimes, and that can be hard to tell, but you'll catch on the more you read my stuff. Maybe I'll tease you sometimes, but only when you initiate it first by making fun of yourself. All teasing is non-serious and shouldn't be taken the wrong way. I'm a sensitive person, but even I know when to laugh at myself. Also, I like actually laughing out loud when I'm talking to people. So I'll tell you when that happens.
3. I like to ramble. Obviously. So just humor me.
4. I like making up words or using non-words that I didn't create myself. Like 'unignorable' and 'sextastic'.
5. I like using CAPS LOCK YES and runningcertainwordstogether and have run-on sentences. I do this sparingly, though. Sometimes. -shifty eyes-
6. I find amusement in using odd phrases, like 'burns my cake' (equivalent to 'pisses me off') and 'jerk-face'. I also like threatening violent acts on things that annoy me. Like if a bird bugged me, I'd say, "I WANTED TO PUNCH THAT BIRD IN THE FACE." Sometimes I switch it up and get really creative with my violent acts. "I WANTED TO SHOVE THAT BIRD IN A VAT OF REALLY BAD PUDDING." "I WANTED THAT BIRD TO FALL INTO A BLACK HOLE." "I WANTED TO PUT THAT BIRD IN A CRATE AND SEND IT TO CANADA." (No offense to Canada. It's just far away from me, relatively, so I'd obviously want to send that bird there. ...damn bird.)
7. I swear. Sometimes not much, sometimes a lot. When I'm excited, I swear a whole bunch. So be aware.
OK. COOL. Now that you know all that, I'mma tell a story to start us off. It's long, so to help you out, I put it in a cut.
So yesterday, as some of you know, I had to stay at this house because there was this wedding, and I had to babysit some kids if said kids didn't want to go to the reception. So I'm like, cool, I'll earn some extra money. I invited a friend. Good times. We watched Ocean's 11 (hee, it's better the second time around. AND OMG. I already told mrsmfitzgerald this- does anyone else think interaction between Daniel Ocean and Gregory House would be the BEST EVER? I DO. SOMEONE WRITE THAT CROSSOVER, 'K.).
But yeah. We were at that house from 4 PM to 11 PM. SEVEN FREAKIN' HOURS. AND NO KIDS SHOWED UP. SO NO MONEY. I was miffed. But it was kinda like the best time ever, though. I'll tell you about this one part.
So I let the dogs out, and this cat is meowing at me like it wants to go out too, so I'm like, "Aw, ok. What can go wrong?" and I let it out. Then I remember- cats can jump over stuff. So I go outside with the cat and just kinda watch it. Then it jumps onto this grill and then OVER THE FENCE. I'm like, "HOLYCRAPWHATNO." I'm tugging on the gate, but it's the like the WORST gate in the WORLD and won't budge. Yet I keep tugging on it and freaking out and calling out for my friend, but she doesn't hear me. I dive back inside the house and yell to my friend that I lost the cat, and finally she gets up from watching Rob & Big (funniest show ever, btw) and joins me outside.
She tries to get the gate open too and can't, so I'm like, "SCREW IT. I'M JUMPING THE FENCE." So, like the badass I am, I hop the fence (it kinda hurt, but I had a cat to save), and sprint after this cat, who ends up chilling by a bush, gnawing on leaves. I pick it up and hold it far away from my body because I'm afraid it'll be ticked at me for picking it up. Which it was. So I'm scrambling to get back to the house, holding this squirming cat who is SO ready to whip around and claw my face, and my friend is laughing too hard to open the gate, so we do a kind of relay race and I pass her the cat. She runs inside and drops it off, and we both are laughing and are so relieved.
And then the lady who owns the house called later, telling us the cat gets out of the yard all the time. It always comes back.
Yeah. I know. And that's not even scratching the surface of all that went down. There was also this kitten that had a meow that sounded like a little child saying, "Mommy?" which is SO FREAKIN' CREEPY when you didn't even know these people HAD a kitten. They also had a dark basement that had MOUNTED DEER HEADS EVERYWHERE, HOLY SHIT, scariest place EVER. My friend and I had a discussion on how if you pulled on one of their antlers, a secret entrance would totally open and reveal gold, jewels, or probably more cats BECAUSE THEY HAD SO FREAKIN' MANY. I swear, every half hour I would discover a new pet. At last count they had eight. Five cats and three dogs. CRAZY.
To get back at the people who owned the house for making me stay there for no reason, I ate all their poptarts. THAT'LL TEACH 'EM. JERK-FACES.
Haha. That was fun. Now, if I could only figure out how in the hell to get a better layout and spruce things up around here.