Jul 23, 2002 12:39
I'm still wearing my string ring from Molly; I haven't taken it off at all. And I just read the new TIP memoir on TIPkids, and it was a good one. That's exactly the sort of story I want to read. But it just hurts that much more.
I read an article with really great neg evidence against my case: denial good. It uses several studies to contend that one of the best possible ways for people to deal with impending death is, well, to go into denial. And if it works for death, hell, maybe it works for other kinds of grief too.
Last night I talked myself into getting so upset that I could finally say what I thought needed to be said. But maybe leaving things unsaid would have been better. Denial good. In fact, I did no such thing! I did nothing wrong last night; things will be fine; no one will get hurt, &c.
And I will never die. And things will work out the way I want them to. ...Wow, I guess they really won't. Yes, actually. We all need a bit of denial.
"I dream in beige, why'd you lead me so far now? I bleed in beige, why'd you lead me so far?" --Pavement. Good song. Ow.