(no subject)
Everything is ok. Just ok.
Alex broke up with his stupid girlfriend, and moved back to kingston. Which is both wonderful and nerve racking. Because I really missed him, and Im admitting to myself that i have some sort of feelings for him. I was spilling my guts to allie about this earlier. And about how i always sabotage this stuff for myself. But Im trying to get past that. (but i still have "brain problems")
I know he likes me (love notes in russian), but the last time we really spoke about any of this stuff was WAAAY back when I was kinda still hanging out with Sarah - so he just assumed I was gay and I let him. I always just assume when people really get to know me and find out about the cutting and the depression and the anxiety - they wont like me any more - so i pre-emptivly nip it in the bud.
I just need to SETTLE DOWN.
Alex broke up with his stupid girlfriend, and moved back to kingston. Which is both wonderful and nerve racking. Because I really missed him, and Im admitting to myself that i have some sort of feelings for him. I was spilling my guts to allie about this earlier. And about how i always sabotage this stuff for myself. But Im trying to get past that. (but i still have "brain problems")
I know he likes me (love notes in russian), but the last time we really spoke about any of this stuff was WAAAY back when I was kinda still hanging out with Sarah - so he just assumed I was gay and I let him. I always just assume when people really get to know me and find out about the cutting and the depression and the anxiety - they wont like me any more - so i pre-emptivly nip it in the bud.
I just need to SETTLE DOWN.