But no really does anyone need to buy a kidney?
Emails With My Mother:
This is in response to an email she sent me about taxes. She hasn't responded back yet, and I can't imagine why.
TO: She-Who-Still-Uses-AOL
FROM: CHESTER, 10:00AM
Since I'm a contract worker, I didn't get a W2 but a 1099. I'm probably going to owe about $[TOO MUCH MONEY]-$[MORE TOO MUCH MONEY](T helped me figure it out because he used to be a contract worker and apparently he enjoys doing math for me as last night he figured out my resting metabolic rate, which is around 2100 calories in a day, in case you were wondering) so I should probably start selling organs on the black market or donating plasma or something. Oh and the other half of my tuition is due on the 19th. I hate life.
I could just get a job as a cocktail waitress at a strip club. I'm sure I'd make enough in tips without having to dance. You know I'd just sprain my ankle again and I doubt strippers have good health insurance.
I can get everything together this weekend and send it to you. It's like the most beautiful Valentine's Day present ever.
Love, Chester
PS I have the best card ever for you, I cannot wait for you to get it. I'll be mailing it tonight or tomorrow morning so BE ON THE LOOKOUT! It makes noise and will match Boris well, is all I'm saying.
____________________________________
Pray that your children are as interesting as me.
Also: For Reference: Boris:
Hello. I am a baby wookiee.
Love from a Sarah
ETA: She replied only to the photo of Boris, which I also sent her. It was nothing but an emoticon.
This is in response to an email she sent me about taxes. She hasn't responded back yet, and I can't imagine why.
TO: She-Who-Still-Uses-AOL
FROM: CHESTER, 10:00AM
Since I'm a contract worker, I didn't get a W2 but a 1099. I'm probably going to owe about $[TOO MUCH MONEY]-$[MORE TOO MUCH MONEY](T helped me figure it out because he used to be a contract worker and apparently he enjoys doing math for me as last night he figured out my resting metabolic rate, which is around 2100 calories in a day, in case you were wondering) so I should probably start selling organs on the black market or donating plasma or something. Oh and the other half of my tuition is due on the 19th. I hate life.
I could just get a job as a cocktail waitress at a strip club. I'm sure I'd make enough in tips without having to dance. You know I'd just sprain my ankle again and I doubt strippers have good health insurance.
I can get everything together this weekend and send it to you. It's like the most beautiful Valentine's Day present ever.
Love, Chester
PS I have the best card ever for you, I cannot wait for you to get it. I'll be mailing it tonight or tomorrow morning so BE ON THE LOOKOUT! It makes noise and will match Boris well, is all I'm saying.
____________________________________
Pray that your children are as interesting as me.
Also: For Reference: Boris:
Hello. I am a baby wookiee.
Love from a Sarah
ETA: She replied only to the photo of Boris, which I also sent her. It was nothing but an emoticon.