What the hell am I writing in this for?
I have two holes in my butt. (No, not from crazy doggy style.)
I contracted a staff infection on my left butt cheek and got an absess. An absess is a fancy word for "You have toxins, puss, and other liquids caught under your skin." My sister, Erin, recently had one but her's popped (Lucky). Mine? Oh, let me just tell you.
Sunday, I complained about a pain in my ass (Hard-dee-har-har) and it itched. Monday I went to PAMPA with my dad (Where I saw Alex Abromowitz, which was lovely) where I was told I had a MSRA Absess on my ass. How do you get an absess? Well, on crazy Friday nights when you're walking home from the movies with your best friends on a main road (Park 12, for all Georgians) and decide to pull your skirt down and run and moon people. I got a mosquito bite on my butt, and it had the staff infection. I will never "streak" again. But anyhoo- I was told it was really serious and that she had to call the pediatric surgeon. Why I still go to a pediatric surgeon, don't ask me. My dad and I went to the Emergancy Room where I had to sit, if I forgot to mention it- I suffered excruciating pain from putting pressure on it (a.k.a sitting), for an hour. Finally, I was called back and waited in a room for about 10 minutes when the Insurance Bitch came in. She was LOVELY. After that, HEATHER AND HEATHER (likez ahmigawed!) came in. They were terrible. How can you be so peppy? It's super annoying. But one of the Heather's got me a blanket and the other made me take my nose ring out- bitch. They told me I'd only have to wait 30 minutes till surgery. AWESOME, RIGHT? CHA! Some lady came in, and wheeled me up to the Operating Room. It was scary, I was scared. For once in my life, I was truley scared. They moved me to the operating table and started me on laughing gas. That's when the fear started going away...probably because of the nitrous oxide. He put an IV in my hand and said "Have a nice nap, Allison."
My fatass was in PAIN when I woke up in Recovery. But, my nurse was so sweet. She got me Sprite, and gram crackers. After 2 hours of sitting and waiting for the IV to finish out, I was free to go. But, I did get to play with the morphine. :-D That, was fun. I just kept feeling better and better with every click. So like I was saying, after 2 hours I was allowed to leave. But, not walk. Some extremely homosexual man wheeled me out and was complimenting me ever so much. It was nice, even though I know I looked like shit. I mean, I just got through with surgery do you really think I looked beautiful?
I stayed out of school the whole week.
This weekend was fun though, I finally got to see everyone. :-)
That's all for now- why I updated I do not know. I'll sporadically update, probably.
- Allison :)
I contracted a staff infection on my left butt cheek and got an absess. An absess is a fancy word for "You have toxins, puss, and other liquids caught under your skin." My sister, Erin, recently had one but her's popped (Lucky). Mine? Oh, let me just tell you.
Sunday, I complained about a pain in my ass (Hard-dee-har-har) and it itched. Monday I went to PAMPA with my dad (Where I saw Alex Abromowitz, which was lovely) where I was told I had a MSRA Absess on my ass. How do you get an absess? Well, on crazy Friday nights when you're walking home from the movies with your best friends on a main road (Park 12, for all Georgians) and decide to pull your skirt down and run and moon people. I got a mosquito bite on my butt, and it had the staff infection. I will never "streak" again. But anyhoo- I was told it was really serious and that she had to call the pediatric surgeon. Why I still go to a pediatric surgeon, don't ask me. My dad and I went to the Emergancy Room where I had to sit, if I forgot to mention it- I suffered excruciating pain from putting pressure on it (a.k.a sitting), for an hour. Finally, I was called back and waited in a room for about 10 minutes when the Insurance Bitch came in. She was LOVELY. After that, HEATHER AND HEATHER (likez ahmigawed!) came in. They were terrible. How can you be so peppy? It's super annoying. But one of the Heather's got me a blanket and the other made me take my nose ring out- bitch. They told me I'd only have to wait 30 minutes till surgery. AWESOME, RIGHT? CHA! Some lady came in, and wheeled me up to the Operating Room. It was scary, I was scared. For once in my life, I was truley scared. They moved me to the operating table and started me on laughing gas. That's when the fear started going away...probably because of the nitrous oxide. He put an IV in my hand and said "Have a nice nap, Allison."
My fatass was in PAIN when I woke up in Recovery. But, my nurse was so sweet. She got me Sprite, and gram crackers. After 2 hours of sitting and waiting for the IV to finish out, I was free to go. But, I did get to play with the morphine. :-D That, was fun. I just kept feeling better and better with every click. So like I was saying, after 2 hours I was allowed to leave. But, not walk. Some extremely homosexual man wheeled me out and was complimenting me ever so much. It was nice, even though I know I looked like shit. I mean, I just got through with surgery do you really think I looked beautiful?
I stayed out of school the whole week.
This weekend was fun though, I finally got to see everyone. :-)
That's all for now- why I updated I do not know. I'll sporadically update, probably.
- Allison :)