The Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram
I just finished reading The Spiritual Dimension of the Enneagram: Nine Faces of the Soul by Sandra Maitri. I really liked it and it got quite in-depth with the different qualities of each type and how they relate to Being. The book seems rather Buddhism-inspired, in ways. I've thought for a long time that I was a 4, and I still think I am. I also have a lot of 1 qualities, which apparently is the number on the enneagram representing the "soul child" of 4's with the negative qualities of 1 being secretly sore points for 4's. However, I try to be aware of my negative qualities and already knew I was a lot like a 1, as well as a 4. 4's are very emotional and tend to suffer a lot, are aesthetically-inclined, and envious. 1's tend to be perfectionists and can be judgmental and critical, as can 4's. I hate being judgmental of other people but I can set high standards for people. I am pretty sure I have a 3 wing instead of a 5 wing because the few 5 qualities I have are mainly due to my anxiety disorder. I am far more achievement and image-oriented than 5's tend to be, which are qualities of 3's, and I don't particularly like solitude. I also like to be giving and help people, which is an important part of being a type 2, which also tends to be a very emotional type, like 4's. However, I think I've become more 2-like over time and it's not my innate orientation.
This is a paragraph that describes the differences between 4's and 1's that I really related to and helped me realize I really am better described by a 4 as my main point on the enneagram:
One and Four:
Both of these types share a tendency toward criticality and judgmentalness, as well as controlling behaviors and often a striving to be good. One of the key distinguishing factors is that 1's are identified with their superego, while 4's are at the mercy of theirs. In other words, 1's feel righteous and justified in pointing out the imperfections of others and deflect their own being pointed out, while 4's experience a great deal of shame and self-hatred when seen as bad and not measuring up to their own perfectionistic standards. 4's are typically more emotionally dramatic, in touch with their pain, aesthetically inclined, and more desirous of contact than 1's. (pg. 295)
Two and Four:
The shared tendencies here are emotive intensity, drama, envy, competitiveness, and a preoccupation with relationship. One of the main differences is that 4's tend to isolate themselves when they are in pain, since they are ashamed of their feelings, while 2's are more spontaneous and shameless than 4's, although there are some pretty reserved 2's and some very expressive 4's. 4's as a rule derive a sense of depth and beauty from their suffering, while 2's mostly do not. 2's focus on what they can do for others and how they will be loved in return, while 4's are not primarily oriented toward giving. (pg. 296)
This is a paragraph that describes the differences between 4's and 1's that I really related to and helped me realize I really am better described by a 4 as my main point on the enneagram:
One and Four:
Both of these types share a tendency toward criticality and judgmentalness, as well as controlling behaviors and often a striving to be good. One of the key distinguishing factors is that 1's are identified with their superego, while 4's are at the mercy of theirs. In other words, 1's feel righteous and justified in pointing out the imperfections of others and deflect their own being pointed out, while 4's experience a great deal of shame and self-hatred when seen as bad and not measuring up to their own perfectionistic standards. 4's are typically more emotionally dramatic, in touch with their pain, aesthetically inclined, and more desirous of contact than 1's. (pg. 295)
Two and Four:
The shared tendencies here are emotive intensity, drama, envy, competitiveness, and a preoccupation with relationship. One of the main differences is that 4's tend to isolate themselves when they are in pain, since they are ashamed of their feelings, while 2's are more spontaneous and shameless than 4's, although there are some pretty reserved 2's and some very expressive 4's. 4's as a rule derive a sense of depth and beauty from their suffering, while 2's mostly do not. 2's focus on what they can do for others and how they will be loved in return, while 4's are not primarily oriented toward giving. (pg. 296)