Anxiety Over Anxiety, Worrying About Finances
Despite doing well, I'm terrified my severe anxiety will return. I guess I'm anxious about getting anxious... I'm afraid I'm going to suddenly have a panic attack for no reason or to slip back into my obsessions. I'm not taking Klonopin, but I'm on-edge because I'm afraid. I also feel bad because I just bought a manga I didn't realize had been released (vol. 5 of The Shinji Ikari Raising Project of Neon Genesis Evangeion. It only cost $10, but I don't have much money right now and I'm waiting to see if my overnight hospital bill will come in this month. I have no idea how much it will cost or when the bill will arrive. I want to have enough money to cover that. If this wasn't lingering over my head I wouldn't feel so guilty for buying the manga. I did withdraw money from my account that I'm going to try to use for all in-person purchases this month, if it lasts. I withdrew it mostly to buy gifts at the Ginza Festival (this weekend's Japanese festival in Chicago), but I also need to use it to pay for medications, Miralax, and things like that. I know I shouldn't worry too much, because I can borrow money from my mother or Michael and if I'm careful I should be all right, but I hate dealing with finances.