When things don't go according to your plan....
Today results for exchange studies were sent and I didin't pass.
Of course I'm sad and angry. Angry at myself for doing so bad at the interview. I literally
had an empty mind, forgetting simple facts like lecture in english by an american professor in autumn or
just answering questions like a total retard. Also, the fact that everyone said "you're really going!
don't worry about it! look at your grade, definitely going" made everything worse. They made me to
believe that maybe MAYBE something really great can happen to me. Maybe I can
finally get one step closer to my dreams. Unfortunately, no. Still, the most annoying
thing is that almost EVERYONE are going, in other words, more than HALF of us
ARE going and i'm not one of them.
Now they're going to "celebrate" this while i can't. I can't with my over - analyzing mind.
I can't be happy when i'm not. I can't be happy for anyone when I feel
jealous. i can't be happy when i imagined everything differently...
I wanna cry but i can't because that's stupid.
i just really wanted to go, unfortunately, i "don't have enough motivation"...