Webcomics are fun
I never have another second day of school again!
I have tried to be rational. I have tried to see things from their perspective. To put myself in their shoes. To be objective. Yesterday, I gave up. It finally hit me that, yes, our administration has gone totally batshit psycho.
I realized that whoever is upstairs has this weird fetish with locking doors. It seems like all they do anymore. Last year, they had this policy that students weren't supposed to be in classrooms without teachers present. This may have existed beforehand, but they actually started trying to enforce it then. It was mandated, then, that teachers had to lock their doors whenever they weren't in their rooms. Maybe this doesn't sound all that bad, but we couldn't stand it. Then, they decided that they didn't like people being able to enter the building when they wanted. So they made a policy that during school hours, most of the exterior doors to the building would be locked. Only the two front entrances would be open. Then they made a policy that students had to remain in the cafeteria or student center at all times during lunch. God forbid students use that time to go talk to a teacher or counsellor or something. This, well, didn't actually involve locking doors but it was the same principle: limit where we can go; keep us where they want us.
This year, there is a new tardy policy. According to my first block teacher, we had over 10,000 tardies last year. And, he said, there were probably lots more that were subject to the irreconsilable evil of never having been reported. And of course, this isn't because the system doesn't work and reporting tardies isn't always necessary. The only possible reason for this is that students are too lazy to come to class and teachers are too lazy to do their jobs and report them. So there's a new policy. As soon as the tardy bell rings - and not after - teachers are required to physically lock their goddamn doors and not let students into class. Anyone being tardy must wait outside in the hall for the teachers who don't have classes that block ("sweepers") to come, report them as tardy, and let them into class. This makes me amazingly consternated. I mean, the whole idea doesn't even make sense. It just takes every problem and amplifies it. Kids aren't going to stop coming to class late - I mean, a few will, I guess. But the fact that 10,000 tardies went reported last year suggests that most of the kids don't really care about getting caught for being tardy anyway. So what impacts does this have? I see three. First: tardies become exponentially more disruptive. Now, instead of being 30 seconds late, everyone will be a minimum of 10 minutes late because that's how long it will take to get swept. Second: Tardies that aren't "disruptive to the learning process" get reported anyway. Walking into class 15 seconds late a couple times is not a big deal. Arguably, it doesn't need to be reported. But, assuming the new policy is upheld, it gets turned into a problem. Third: the number of reported tardies goes up. Which makes them look even worse.
The whole sick beauty of the system is that it's largely self-enforcing. Even if a teacher has some iota of capability to perform rational thought and sees what a load of BS the policy is, the sweepers can act as watchdogs and snitch on any teacher they see performing the unspeakable act of letting students into class. I swear, I cannot believe how amazingly hard such a group of educators is trying to keep kids out of the classroom.
I've been conjecturing that their next policy is going to be one to relieve the lunch line problem: simply stop feeding the blacks and jews.
Something else new this year: there is a patio with picnic tables outside and we are allowed to eat lunch out there. Funny thing is, they let us eat lunch outside last year and then revoked the privilege because kids threw their trash everywhere. I don't see how having a new patio is going to change that.
I can't even fathom what board meetings must have been like over the summer.
BOARD MEMBER #1: We need some way to discourage students from arriving to class late.
BOARD MEMBER #2: Well, what if we put up some sort of additional physical barrier inbetween them and class? That might work.
BOARD MEMBER #1: Maybe we could just wall off large sections of hallway. That would have the added benefit of making it harder for skippers to get from one place to another!
BOARD MEMBER #2: No, we blew our construction budget putting in that patio so students could eat outside. It's a good thing we can grant them this new freedom; it should really increase student morale!
BOARD MEMBER #3: Didn't we already try that last year only to have it meet abysmal failure?
CRICKET: ...
BOARD MEMBER #1: Who invited him?
I have tried to be rational. I have tried to see things from their perspective. To put myself in their shoes. To be objective. Yesterday, I gave up. It finally hit me that, yes, our administration has gone totally batshit psycho.
I realized that whoever is upstairs has this weird fetish with locking doors. It seems like all they do anymore. Last year, they had this policy that students weren't supposed to be in classrooms without teachers present. This may have existed beforehand, but they actually started trying to enforce it then. It was mandated, then, that teachers had to lock their doors whenever they weren't in their rooms. Maybe this doesn't sound all that bad, but we couldn't stand it. Then, they decided that they didn't like people being able to enter the building when they wanted. So they made a policy that during school hours, most of the exterior doors to the building would be locked. Only the two front entrances would be open. Then they made a policy that students had to remain in the cafeteria or student center at all times during lunch. God forbid students use that time to go talk to a teacher or counsellor or something. This, well, didn't actually involve locking doors but it was the same principle: limit where we can go; keep us where they want us.
This year, there is a new tardy policy. According to my first block teacher, we had over 10,000 tardies last year. And, he said, there were probably lots more that were subject to the irreconsilable evil of never having been reported. And of course, this isn't because the system doesn't work and reporting tardies isn't always necessary. The only possible reason for this is that students are too lazy to come to class and teachers are too lazy to do their jobs and report them. So there's a new policy. As soon as the tardy bell rings - and not after - teachers are required to physically lock their goddamn doors and not let students into class. Anyone being tardy must wait outside in the hall for the teachers who don't have classes that block ("sweepers") to come, report them as tardy, and let them into class. This makes me amazingly consternated. I mean, the whole idea doesn't even make sense. It just takes every problem and amplifies it. Kids aren't going to stop coming to class late - I mean, a few will, I guess. But the fact that 10,000 tardies went reported last year suggests that most of the kids don't really care about getting caught for being tardy anyway. So what impacts does this have? I see three. First: tardies become exponentially more disruptive. Now, instead of being 30 seconds late, everyone will be a minimum of 10 minutes late because that's how long it will take to get swept. Second: Tardies that aren't "disruptive to the learning process" get reported anyway. Walking into class 15 seconds late a couple times is not a big deal. Arguably, it doesn't need to be reported. But, assuming the new policy is upheld, it gets turned into a problem. Third: the number of reported tardies goes up. Which makes them look even worse.
The whole sick beauty of the system is that it's largely self-enforcing. Even if a teacher has some iota of capability to perform rational thought and sees what a load of BS the policy is, the sweepers can act as watchdogs and snitch on any teacher they see performing the unspeakable act of letting students into class. I swear, I cannot believe how amazingly hard such a group of educators is trying to keep kids out of the classroom.
I've been conjecturing that their next policy is going to be one to relieve the lunch line problem: simply stop feeding the blacks and jews.
Something else new this year: there is a patio with picnic tables outside and we are allowed to eat lunch out there. Funny thing is, they let us eat lunch outside last year and then revoked the privilege because kids threw their trash everywhere. I don't see how having a new patio is going to change that.
I can't even fathom what board meetings must have been like over the summer.
BOARD MEMBER #1: We need some way to discourage students from arriving to class late.
BOARD MEMBER #2: Well, what if we put up some sort of additional physical barrier inbetween them and class? That might work.
BOARD MEMBER #1: Maybe we could just wall off large sections of hallway. That would have the added benefit of making it harder for skippers to get from one place to another!
BOARD MEMBER #2: No, we blew our construction budget putting in that patio so students could eat outside. It's a good thing we can grant them this new freedom; it should really increase student morale!
BOARD MEMBER #3: Didn't we already try that last year only to have it meet abysmal failure?
CRICKET: ...
BOARD MEMBER #1: Who invited him?