you honestly just don't get it.

[unhingedxmaniac]

the emptiness in my heart is like nothing any of you have experienced before. i'm sick of people telling me to move on. i know you're all just looking out for me, but you need to realize that what has happened between jonathan and i is very different that what any of you have experienced. to want to be with someone and to have them want to be with you right back, but have someone else dictate wheather or not that's possible is something i highly doubt any of you can relate to. i know i focus my life around him a lot, okay, i know, but i can't force myself out of love with him. it just doesn't happen like that. quit telling me to move on, to let life go on. if you've noticed, i have, very much so, since he's left. i'm not sitting around waiting for him to come back. i do things i want to do, and i'm not about to let the thought of him hold me back from anything. i love him, but that doesn't mean i'm going to sacrifice myself, but it also doesn't mean i'm not going to be there for him. he is my best friend, alright? he means the world to me.

i'm not going to explain myself any further. if you don't understand still, i'm sorry, but that's all i can give. i appreciate any concerns from anyone regarding him and our situation, and i'm grateful i have people looking out for me. but now it's time for him and i to take things as they come for each other and us together.

i'm tired as hell.