fuck him

[unhingedxmaniac]

i am so fucking pissed i don't know where to begin. alright, so tonight i made plans with kathryn which followed through and made me all happy. then andrew calls and wants me to hook his friends up. i couldn't so he said he call me after he got off work after he asked if i could give joel a ride somewhere and after i said no. so he calls me when kathryn and i are at rochambo's and i tell him to meet me there. he's there for like 5 minutes and then just leaves to go outside. we go outside 15 minutes later and he's no where. he calls and is across the street. we go over and he's like, 'i'm gonna do my own thing tonight' so i was pissed and trying to get him to do something with us. then he gets a call and just starts walking away and waves goodbye. so i said fuck you and we left. we decided just to walk around so we did. we ran into a.c. outside jimmy johns and talked with him for a bit then kept walking. we crossed through a parking lot and see him on the other side of the street with some other chick. i didn't really care but it pissed me off more for some reason. don't know why, really. we kept walking and then run into patrick and brad who are leaving stacie and rachel's place. talk to them for a bit then keep walking.

i am so fucking sick of his shit i'm done with him. seriously done. no more of this limbo bullshit i'm not taking it anymore. next time he wants to hang out with him i'm going to snap on him. he's done this sort of shit so many times and this is the last straw. i'm done.

i ask so many questions of myself
and i never get any answers.
i can't answer my own questions.
i don't know who i am to myself.
i am blinded by confusion and misery.
and the lack of knowing what the future holds is killing me.

i don't know where to begin.
and when i don't know where to being, i don't know how to make it end.
without a place to start from, i can't find the final curtain.