WAIT 5 minutes
okay well its the same day another entry. it's 12.04 so technically
it's sunday but fuck you. i'm so drunk right now. ahahaha. man, tonight
was fun. my brother and andrea came over to matt's house and drank with
me. i drank so much even before they got there fuck.
there was a few parties tonight. one at stacies and one at smooth's. didn't go to either. matt and rachel came back from stacie's at like, 10.45 and brad and patrick came back from smooth's a little after. then they left for a new one. just brad and patrick, not matt and rachel. pretty lame parties. i was hoping jonathan'd come down tonight. i sent him a text message about stacie's after she sent me one but he didn't reply or call me but then i sent him one telling him fuck it but i didn't think he'd come either way. hopefully tomorrow. i felt obligated to write him another stupid fucking note back so i did while at work yesterday. it wasn't too interesting. asking questions, answered questions, brought up interests etc. hope he likes it... gave it to tre to give to him tomorrow when they work together. she asked me to have lunch with them again on sunday. i might, depending on if we do something tomorrow night. hopefully. i really like talking to him. when he called me wednesday it was just a great, chill conversation. nothing too in depth but valid none the less. and it was for no reason :) i really do like talking to him, though, he has interesting things to say and likes to hear what i say, so it's good all around the board. i just hope he likes talking to me. but maybe i'm expecting too much way too soon. i mean, i've kicked it with the guy for a total of like, 45 minutes. but he was so nice! he is honestly so adorable it makes me cringe. i'm not even really expecting anything execpt to get to know someone better. i mean, it think he's attractive and all but i'd really just like to get to know him on a higher level. i just want to sit back sometime on a nice warm day outside and have a drink and chat and dick around. i hope it gets even that far. but knowing my luck it wont. i'm just looking for someone to connect with on any level. nothing too special, nothing in particular. just a connection. i've been so out of touch with the world and my ideals and emotions it's crazy.
i feel so empty. i feel like the shell of a person. the ghost of a soul. there is no way to describe how i feel. i wish there was someone i could open up to all the time. i guess that's one of the reasons i still miss kris. that's the only part of a relationship i miss. i don't want a relationship at all. i just want someone to talk to. great. now i'm getting it my sad fucked up mood. wonderful.
i'm gonna go to bed and listen to my ipod. hopefully i'll be happier doing that than updating this piece of shit.
there was a few parties tonight. one at stacies and one at smooth's. didn't go to either. matt and rachel came back from stacie's at like, 10.45 and brad and patrick came back from smooth's a little after. then they left for a new one. just brad and patrick, not matt and rachel. pretty lame parties. i was hoping jonathan'd come down tonight. i sent him a text message about stacie's after she sent me one but he didn't reply or call me but then i sent him one telling him fuck it but i didn't think he'd come either way. hopefully tomorrow. i felt obligated to write him another stupid fucking note back so i did while at work yesterday. it wasn't too interesting. asking questions, answered questions, brought up interests etc. hope he likes it... gave it to tre to give to him tomorrow when they work together. she asked me to have lunch with them again on sunday. i might, depending on if we do something tomorrow night. hopefully. i really like talking to him. when he called me wednesday it was just a great, chill conversation. nothing too in depth but valid none the less. and it was for no reason :) i really do like talking to him, though, he has interesting things to say and likes to hear what i say, so it's good all around the board. i just hope he likes talking to me. but maybe i'm expecting too much way too soon. i mean, i've kicked it with the guy for a total of like, 45 minutes. but he was so nice! he is honestly so adorable it makes me cringe. i'm not even really expecting anything execpt to get to know someone better. i mean, it think he's attractive and all but i'd really just like to get to know him on a higher level. i just want to sit back sometime on a nice warm day outside and have a drink and chat and dick around. i hope it gets even that far. but knowing my luck it wont. i'm just looking for someone to connect with on any level. nothing too special, nothing in particular. just a connection. i've been so out of touch with the world and my ideals and emotions it's crazy.
i feel so empty. i feel like the shell of a person. the ghost of a soul. there is no way to describe how i feel. i wish there was someone i could open up to all the time. i guess that's one of the reasons i still miss kris. that's the only part of a relationship i miss. i don't want a relationship at all. i just want someone to talk to. great. now i'm getting it my sad fucked up mood. wonderful.
i'm gonna go to bed and listen to my ipod. hopefully i'll be happier doing that than updating this piece of shit.