what the hell...
Well I think I can start with last night. Shannon had a bad night with things going on with her life and I think that I didn't help things out much with the fact that I did tell her that I do like her but in useing a cell phone I dont think it came out the right way or the way that I wanted it too. I lover her as a friend and was trying to say that maybe one day it could go some where else but she had bettin me to the line there. I am haveing a hard enough time with things that I have going on in my life and I think that I might have messed up more things then I needed. She is truely a great friend and I hope she talks to me about things before she reads into them like I know that I have and do. She asked me a question about the hole p thing and me. I told her the truth but I dont think she beleives me on the one. Well after all that and the stupidity that I have in myself cause once again I let someone into a world that I haven't let ANYONE into I get a call when I leave work to see if I can get Z offf to school. I said ure even though I new that there was going to be more to it. I take him to school and get a call from her after about 10 minutes after walking into the door and she basically tells me that I have to make an appointment to see my own son. I am so fucking frusterated with my life I'd be happy to just end it but I know that it wouldn't help anything cause Z would hate me more than he already does. So know I'm sitting here typing to myself for myself and crying like a little bitch. I hate myself for wreaking my sons life and my friendship with others. I quit trying to do the right thing from now on. I ruin everything that I do like and help out the ones I hate more than anything anymore. I cant even get one of my moms cats to fucking come near me. Need out now.